Hum Aapke Dil Mein Rehte Hain

Hum Aapke Dil Mein Rehte Hain -- I Will Stay In Your Heart

MAIN CAST

Anil Kapoor -- Vijay

Anupam Kher -- Vijay's father

Kajol -- Megha

BASIC PLOT OVERVIEW:

Vijay is a spoiled brat who just wants to party and have fun. His father insists that he get married and settle down, however, so the two strike up a deal: Vijay will marry his father's secretary, Megha; if a year passes and Vijay is not happy with Megha, he will divorce her. Megha is a wonderful wife, but after a year, Vijay whips out their contract and breaks up with Megha, only to realize soon after that he is in love with her. Will Megha ever forgive him?

FILM -- 2/5

What could have been a simple but watchable piece of masala is almost ruined by a massive heap of flaws. The dialogue is mediocre in Hindi and the English subtitles are generally laughable. The first 20 minutes of Hum Aapke Dil Mein Rehte Hain are pretty mediocre as a whole, actually, and I paused it and walked away from it at least 3 times...and really, I shouldn't have to entertain myself while I'm watching a movie. The costume department must have been run entirely by the colorblind or the just plain blind, because with a few rare exceptions (Kajol), the costumes look tacky and ridiculous. The choreography and picturizing are alright, although the editing is pretty crappy and the shaking cameras will make your eyes hurt in some places. Hitchcock-esque, psuedo-dramatic, "flash-flash-flash-flash-flash!" kind of shots always make me twitch, and those found in HADMRH are no exception. There are some enjoyable scenes, like the part where Vijay's father searches for potential brides for his son and the foot-touching after Megha and Vijay's wedding, but during more "dramatic" parts, its a pretty up-and-down experience. The film does get better as it progresses, however, and only reverts back to a state of pure suckage at the very end. So while it's ocassionally tedious and poorly made, it also has moments of brilliance.

CHARACTERS -- 3.5/5

Anil Kapoor isn't exactly attractive by western standards, at least not in a modern sense, and he looks more than a little outdated for a 90s film. Still, he's a real presence on-screen and manages to win you over as the film progresses. Kajol is a joy to watch, as always, and she stuns you with her unique beauty from the moment she appears. It's a shame that she isn't put to better use in this film; her character often ends up wallowing in a pit of blandness, thanks to parts of the script that stick out like giant bruises. Maybe it's just the western feminist in me, but every time Vijay promoted equality between men and women and Megha looked completely depressed at the idea, I just wanted to slap the screenwriters, and her rejection of Vijay in the second half becomes excessive after the first few stubborn acts. Kajol and Anil Kapoor are't my favorite on-screen couple, but they're just darling together! Mink Singh...well, at least she's pleasing to the eye. I enjoyed Anupam Kher's performance despite the fact that he was almost always typecasted as the rich, doting father/uncle in the 90s and, hence, his role is nothing new. Parmeet Seethi's role as a wannabe Romeo is pretty hilarious and appropriately sleazy, and the rest of the supporting cast performs well enough. Satish Kaushik and Johnny Lever's "comedic moments," however, aren't very comedic, and their characters annoy the crap out of you after a few seconds.

MUSIC -- 2/5

The good news is that half of the songs are well-written in a musical sense, with catchy melodies and awesome beats. The bad news is that the lyrics are complete trash. The English lyrics are especially horrible; I'm well aware that 95% of all Bolly lyrics written in English are going to be cheesy, but this stuff just sounds ridiciulous. "Chup Gaya Badal" is one of the songs that holds out best outside of the film's context. "Dhing Tara" and "Jara Hai Kahan" have the aforementioned good beat with bad lyrics. "Kasam Se Kasam" and "Papa Mein Papa Ban Gaya" aren't nearly as good without the in-film picturizing...actually, I take that back: "Papa Mein Papa Ban Gaya" is just plain obnoxious, even when you're watching it in the movie. The title track certainly doesn't "stay in my heart," it just makes me want to pop my eardrums to escape from its blandness. There's a lot of blending amongst the tracks, with only a few standing out as separate entities. I honestly don't see me listening to this soundtrack too often in the distant future, as it's rather forgettable.

OVERALL -- 3/5

To be perfectly honest, I wouldn't mind watching this film again. That sounds crazy, since I rated HADMRH rather low and nitpicked the shit out of it. The "kind of sort of enjoying it" feeling I get from HADMRH stems from two things: 1) my weakness for 1990s masala flicks, and 2) the strange addiction I ended up having for this movie. To paraphrase the almighty Yahtzee, creator of Zero Punctuation: "I'll say I don't like it, just like an alcholic says he doesn't like alcohol." It doesn't hurt that Hum Aapke Dil Mein Rehte Hain could have been a pretty good flick if it wasn't burdened down by so many flaws, like the piss-poor soundtrack, grating ending, and the overall choppiness of the script. Like Dhaai Akshar Prem Ke, HADMRH has all of the cliche and almost none of the charm found in masala; unlike the former, the latter is a guilty pleasure with a few fresh twists that I could honestly see some viewers loving. Because it's above average, you should give Hum Aapke Dil Mein Rehte Hain a rainy-day rental, but I wouldn't recommend purchasing it until you're sure you love it.

TOTAL SCORE -- 10.5/20 (mediocre)