Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna -- Never Say Goodbye
MAIN CAST:
Shahrukh Khan -- Dev
Rani Mukherji -- Maya
Abhishek Bachchan -- Rishi
Preity Zinta -- Rhea
Amitabh Bachchan -- Sam
Kirron Kher -- Kamal
BRIEF PLOT OVERVIEW:
SRK is Dev, a total jerk who's married to the successful Rhea. Maya is a boring germaphobe who marries her friend Rishi because it's convenient. And when Maya and Dev start cheating on their spouses with each other, we're supposed to feel for these grating characters. That's the best way I can summarize the shit that is Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna.
FILM -- 1.5/5
I'm a realist. I don't expect incredible things from Karan Johar, oh He-of-the-Candy-Floss-Films. I expect some crazy masala goodness, pretty colors, a nice soundtrack, and some charm. And KANK does include a variety of pretty costumes (poorly placed though they may be--nobody wears a skin-tight designer dress when they vacuum, KJo) and lavish picturizations. But beneath its shiney surface, KANK is completely void of any value, even at the basic emotional level. The script is mind-numbingly stupid, and when the exception of a few funny moments, I found most of the dialogue beyond the realm of possibility. It's all so slow, I was ready for this movie to be over after an hour. On a sidenote, I write about sex, and I was almost offended by how mis-represented BDSM was, and how they completely marginalized the importance of a sex life in a healthy relationship.
CHARACTERS -- 1/5
I'm a huge fan of complex characters. I like it when my characters manage to be engaging via their strengths and their faults, and more often than not, I think you can build a successful film off of that dynamic alone. Alas, for KANK fails miserably! SRK's character is a douche from the start, but he becomes a real jackass after he hurts his leg. Rani Mukherji, on the other hand, is dull and bland; she usually has the brilliance of a pearl and the charm to match, but here she's just a cute Indian woman who whines a lot. It wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't so over-the-top, and it really annoyed me that Karan Johar was really trying to make us sympathize with completely unsympathetic characters while he demonized the more admirable Rhea and Rishi. Okay, so Rhea was pretty one-dimensional as well, but I felt Rishi was really beaten on for no reason. I mean, yeah, he's kind of childish, but he gets it honestly enough (and as annoying as Big B was in parts of the film, I give him props for making me laugh), and there's never any malice in his actions. Or Rhea's, for that matter. And yet, they are the characters the screenplay openly bashes while it glories in Maya and Dev's nasty melodrama, trying to make us see layers that don't even exist, trying to make us accept the fact that these two selfish characters who are too lazy to try and work through their problems become acceptable people when they just ignore them. On top of that, everybody overacts; their dialogue is stilted and they often sound like they're reading off of cue cards. I give the characters half a point for Kirron Kher and Amitabh Bachchan, and an extra half a point for Kajol's special appearance. Other than that, the characters are too poorly written and executed for me to feel anything but anger towards them.
SOUNDTRACK -- 1/5
The title song is nice, but very run-of-the-mill. The same goes for "Tumhi Dekho Naa," despite its pretty picturization. "Rock and Roll Soniye" is cute for the first verse or two, at which point I just get sick of its cheesiness. "Mitwa" is a surprisingly wonderful pop ballad, but while I loved the dream/reality cuts, it looked stupid when they actually had SRK lip-syncing.
OVERALL -- 1.5/5
I am not like the many reviewers who hated this film just because it revolved around adultery. You don't have to agree with a topic to think the media based on it is interesting, and there are many books, plays, and films about extramarital affairs that are absolutely incredible and include intriguing, well-written characters. Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna, however, is not one of them. It's poorly written, features some of the worst performances from the 4 leads I have ever seen, has a lackluster soundtrack, and generally just doesn't handle the material well. The final hour is beyond all believability. Rent it if you really like one of the leads and want to screencap them in Karan Johar's typical candy-coated scenery and costumes, but beyond that, KANK really isn't worth your time.
TOTAL SCORE -- 5/20 (very bad)
5 comments:
The worse part of KANK was the absolute lack of passion between Dev and Maya - no chemistry at all. So we never understand why they get together except to whine about their spouses and how awful/boring their life is. Blah
I can foresee that going through the same routine with other partners in a few years - Dev and Maya complaining about each other to a new partner. Serial adulterers.
I wasn't a huge fan of this movie as well, but i'd give the soundtrack about 3.5 - 4/5
A better movie on the extra marital issue is 'Arth' (1982), Gumrah (1963)
I agree with every single thing you said. How often does that happen? LOL
I've only seen KANK once, and among what I remember most are thinking that Rani and SRK were convincing (I know most disagree), and that misrepresentation you speak of (which is true!). I didn't dislike this film much (and agree that the theme doesn't necessarily need to resonate to guide appreciation thereof), although Amitabh was just annoying, but he beat himself with Jhoom Barabar Jhoom :)
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