The Bolly List

Silsila

2010-09-12T23:31:00.000-07:00

Silsila -- Chain

MAIN CAST:
Rekha -- Chandni
Jaya Badhuri -- Shobha
Amitabh Bachchan -- Amit
Shashi Kapoor -- Shekhar

BRIEF PLOT OVERVIEW:
Shekhar is madly in love with Shobha and can't wait to introduce her to his beloved brother, Amit. Before too long, Amit has found a love of his own, a beautiful young woman named Chandni. But when Shekhar dies in a plane crash and leaves a pregnant Shobha behind, Amit is duty-bound to marry Shobha, while Chandi agrees to marry a friendly doctor. Shortly thereafter, Amit and Chandni enter in to a secret love affair.

FILM -- 3/5
On the surface, Silsila seems like a film that breaks away from restrictive cultural norms entirely: one woman becomes pregnant out of wedlock while another carries on an affair with the first's husband, and neither is shamed for it. Yet there are many not-so-subtle ways that the film returns to conservative values in predictable plot twists I won't reveal (in hopes that they may still surprise you). The film often flashes between realism and melodrama, though I must admit that the realistic segments are really well-written and the melodramatic segments are...well, true blue melodramatic, if you're in to that kind of thing. Most of the dialogue is maudlin and dried out, leaving the actors to carry the film's emotional weight via facial expressions and body language. In Silsila's defense, the actors do this quite well, and I did, in all fairness, cry a few times during the second half. (The second half, by the way, is INFINITELY better than the first.) The costumes are rarely tacky, which is a big deal in an 80s Bollywood film; I was especially impressed with Rekha's clothing.

CHARACTERS -- 4.5/5
Like many otherwise mediocre films, Silsila's strength lies in its actors. Shashi Kapoor receives top billing, even though his character barely lasts through the first half of the movie. It's not his best performance, but at least his trademark charm is intact. Amitabh Bachchan breaks out of his "angry young man" comfort zone here with a character who broods twice as much, but keeps his condemnation of societal norms mostly to himself. Again, this isn't his best performance, but it holds its own. The folks who really steal the show in Silsila are the women: this is some of the best acting I've ever seen from Jaya Badhuri and Rekha. Shobha fits so many stereotypes of the "suffering Indian woman" that if it weren't for Jaya's skillful portrayal of the character and her sweet, innocent features, I wouldn't have been able to stomach here. She also has sweet (though almost sisterly) chemistry with both Shashi and Amitabh. Rekha's performance is especially powerful, and it's obvious why rumors about her and Big B run so rampant--their chemistry is INCREDIBLE. And may I just turn in to a fangirl here and say that Rekha is beyond stunning? Sanjeev Kumar also deserves accolades for his wonderful performance as Chandi's husband. That man really knows how to act with his eyes!

SOUNDTRACK -- 3.5/5
Silsila has one of those soundtracks that sounds mundane at first, but grows on you as you continue to listen to it. There are, of course, a few stand-out tracks; I fell in love with Amit and Chandni's love-at-first-sight song, "Ladki Hai Ya Shola," immediately, and "Dekha Ekh Khwab" manages to be old-timey without being cheesy. "Rang Barse," a Holi song, is considered a classic by many, but while I absolutely adore it now, it took a while to grow on me. The film also opens with a festival-type song, "Sar Se Sarke," which is just background music for me. "Neela Aasman" has several lullabye-like incarnations, all of which bore the shit out of me. I much prefer Shobha's heart-wrenching lament, "Jo Tum Todo Piya." Overall, it's a decent soundtrack with a few astounding gems and pretty but cliche picturizations to go with them.

OVERALL -- 3/5
Parts of Silsila made my inner feminist grimace so hard that I often had to remind myself that, considering when it was made and the common moral standards of the culture it came from (or really, the standards of most cultures), it really broke a lot of barriers. One woman in this film commits adultery, the other gets pregnant out of wedlock, and yet it is the women Silsila sets its sympathetic gaze on. These are not evil seductresses, bent out sucking out the respectively charming and dutiful souls of Shashi Kapoor and Amitabh Bachchan; rather, they are good, honest ladies who experience unforeseeable tragedies and are forced to grin and bear the unhappy consequences. Furthermore, this is one of those rare Bollywood films that drags and bores in its first half, but astounds in its second half. In short, Silsila is not an incredible film, but it is a good one, and it's an absolute shame that many viewers cast it aside simply because of its controversial subject matter.

TOTAL SCORE -- 14/20 (really good)

2010-08-31T23:30:00.001-07:00

I'm not dead, I just started teaching and took waaaaaaaaay too many graduate classes for my first semester. I've been watching movies and just haven't had time to review them. Please forgive me? *sad eyes*

Master List

2010-05-02T13:56:00.000-07:00

Before reading any further, you might want to check out the introduction to the Bolly List, located on the right side of this blog.

Updated on May 2, 2010: Added the reviews for Gupt: the Hidden Truth and Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi.

1947: Earth

Aag
Aap Mujhe Achche Lagne Lage
Aashiqui
Andaz
Ankur
Aśoka

Baabul
Bandit Queen
Barsaat
Billu (Barber)
Bunty Aur Babli

Chak De! India
Chameli
Chandni Bar
Cheeni Kum
Chori Chori Chupke Chupke

Deewaar
Devdas
Dhaai Akshar Prem Ke
Dhokha
Dil Hai Tumhara
Dil Se
Dil To Pagal Hai
Don: The Chase Begins Again
Duplicate

Ek Chadar Maili Si

Filhaal...

Gupt: the Hidden Truth
Guru

Hameshaa

Jab We Met
Jodhaa Akbar
Josh
Judaai

Hey Ram
Hum Aapke Dil Mein Rehte Hain
Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam

Jab We Met
Jhoom Barabar Jhoom
Jodhaa Akbar
Josh
Judaai

Kaal
Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna
Kabhi Khushi Kabhie Gham
Kaho Naa...Pyaar Hai
Kuch Khatti Kuch Meethi

Laaga Chunari Mein Daag

Main Hoon Na
Main Prem Ki Diwani Hoon
Maqbool
Mujhse Dosti Karoge!
My Brother...Nikhil

Nayak: The Real Hero

Om Jai Jagadish

Pinjar
Pyaar Ka Sindoor
Pyaar Ke Side Effects

Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi
Raja Hindustani
Raju Ban Gaya Gentleman
Rangeela

Sarkar
Satya
Swades

Taal
Tere Naam
Thoda Pyar Thoda Magic

Umrao Jaan (2006)

Virasat

Water

Yes Boss

Zubeidaa

Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi

2010-04-24T02:17:00.000-07:00

Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi -- A Match Made In Heaven

MAIN CAST:
Shahrukh Khan -- Surinder/Raj
Anushka Sharma -- Taani
Vinay Pathak -- Bobby

BRIEF PLOT OVERVIEW:
When Taani's husband-to-be dies on the way to their wedding, she follows her father's wishes and marries his favorite pupil, Suri. Lonely and despondent, Taani joins a dance class, and the bashful Suri--who loved Taani the moment he saw her--creates the carefree persona of Raj in the hopes of brightening up her life. Things get complicated when Taani and Raj become dance partners, forcing Suri to keep up the facade.

FILM -- 3.5/5
May-December romances are seldom done well, especially in the realm of my beloved Bollywood, so my hackles were immediately raised when I noticed Shahrukh's much-younger co-star**. But the film opens beautifully, the camera's gaze cast lovingly across the Punjab while a gorgeous ballad plays in the background. The cinematography in general is flawless and captures the emotion of the moment perfectly. Take, for example, this scene from immediately after Suri and Taani's marriage: Surinder sitting at a table, set for two but eating alone, as the camera sits far away from him, highlighting the emptiness of the room. The picturizations are top notch and range from the lavish "Phir Milenge Chalte Chalte" to the simply elegant "Haule Haule." The script itself is tried but true, and while RNBDJ doesn't introduce anything new or remove the old masala stand-bys, the cliche dialogue holds up well thanks to the actors' strong performances and the humor. The legitimization of arranged marriages and "God is in your husband" are old themes in Bollywood, and ones I try not to harp on--you can decide how you feel about such themes for yourself``.

CHARACTERS -- 4/5
Shahrukh Khan is always charming and charismatic, but his performance as Suri is particularly noteworthy for its subtlety. In the past, SRK's attempts at such bashful characters have lead to quivering, stuttering, unbelievable messes. By contrast, Suri is believably shy, and his emotions read well on his face. This is not the boastful young boy of the 90s or the melodramatic ruler of the previous decade: Suri shows that 43-year-old Shahrukh has finally mastered "the realistic character." Maybe it's because all of the melodrama comes from Raj, his youthful, dance-happy incarnation ^^. (And may I just say, I'm still amazed by how well SRK can move for a man his age...I love the little spins Suri does when Taani isn't looking during "Dance Pe Chance!") I had high hopes for Anushka Sharma, whose understated beauty and sweet voice really appealed to me in interviews. Her facial expressions and body language are perfectly nuanced, but her line reading doesn't quite have the same realism. I'm sure that with time, however, her acting skills will improve, as she's clearly full of natural talent. Besides, my heart is always won over by a new starlet who can actually dance. As per usual, SRK's chemistry with his co-star is quite genuine. Vinay Pathak's Bobby is a total caricature of Punjabi hipsters, but a moderately humorous one, so all is forgiven. There's also a ton of noteworthy guest appearances. My favorites were Kajol (playing Nargis) and Rani Mukherjee (playing Neetu Singh), considering they are two of my favorite ladies, although Bipashu Basu's Nutan impression also managed to catch my eye.

SOUNDTRACK -- 3.5/5
I heard one song from this soundtrack before watching the film, "Haule Haule," because the Sukhwinder Singh fangirl in me couldn't resist a preview. The song is upbeat, fun, and catchy, a definite high note on the soundtrack. "Phir Milenge Chalte Chalte" isn't the best dance tune I've ever heard, but the way they melded so many classic films in to a single song really impressed me, and the in-film picturization is one of the best I've ever seen. "Dance Pe Chance" is another techno-backed dance track. I'm not sure how I feel about "Tujh Mein Rab Dikhta Hai"...musically it doesn't stand out from the crowd of Bollywood ballads, yet the lyrics are beyond beautiful and the vocals are stunning. The background music is absolutely perfect, perky when it needs to be and melancholy at just the right moments. (And I'm sure you'll be able to catch all of the references to other films, as well as the snippets of songs like "Dhoom Machale.") My main complaint is that the soundtrack, like most modern Bollywood soundtracks, is far too short.

OVERALL -- 3.5/5
This film had a few things going for it and going against it from the start. On the plus side, it starred Shahrukh Khan, promised masala goodness and a great new heroine, and was highly-anticipated. On the negative side, it didn't look like anything new, seemed to lack the infectious humor of great modern masala flicks, and was highly-anticipated. (The fact that Shahrukh's character took on the name "Raj Kapoor" for the nth time is neither here nor there.) In the end, the positives outweigh the negatives. Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi is far from perfect, nor is it unique, and it honestly lacks a whole lot of replay value. Yet it's fun and features some truly lovely performances. It may not be for everyone, but Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi really worked for me, and I recommend it to fellow masala fans.

TOTAL SCORE -- 14.5/20 (really good)

** Bear in mind, however, that it's apparently never stated that Suri is much, much older than Taani. He is introduced as her father's student, and was apparently in college when Taani was starting high school (she mentions hearing about him "all thoughout high school and college"). My guess is that Suri is 10-15 years older than her at the absolute most. Feel free to correct me if the age difference is stated in the film; I only know smatterings of Hindi, and we all know how English subtitles can be.

`` It could be argued that Suri and Taani don't technically have an arranged marriage, at least not in the classical sense, but in my opinion, the theme's basic gist remains. I'm willing to relax a little more on the "God is in your husband" tradition, considering Suri/Raj also says he sees God in Taani with the very same song--it feels equal to me, I suppose.

^^ Some people have complained that Taani's inability to see that Raj is actually Suri is completely unrealistic and ruins the film. First and foremost, this is a Bollywood film; if we can believe stories about long-lost brothers on opposite sides of the law, revolving costumes, impossible feats of medicine, and earth-shattering love at first sight, we can certainly believe in a little costume magic! ;) Also, I think it's worth noting that Suri and Taani don't spend a whole lot of time together, it's not inconceivable that many Indian men could have SRK's coloration, and he does put a lot of effort in to that personality 180. The film even points out that Taani could have recognized Suri, but suggests that there is some sort of divine intervention at hand. PS: did I mention that it's a freakin' BOLLYWOOD MOVIE?!

++ CULTURAL NOTES: during one scene, Raj walks in to the dance hall and panics when he sees girls tying rakhi to their male partners' hands. This relates to the Raksha Bandhan festival. Essentially, when you tie a rakhi to a man's hand, you "claim him" as your brother and ask for his protection. It is meant to represent a completely chaste bond. So it would be disastrous for Taani to put a rakhi on Raj, considering he is actually her husband Suri! Also, Suri is indeed a Sikh--notice the silver bracelet on his arm.

Reviews In Review: 2009

2010-04-23T20:29:00.000-07:00

Perfect / A+ : 1 film
Aag

Almost Perfect / A- : 4 films
1947: Earth
Billu
Hey Ram
Swades

Great / B+ : 6 films
Guru
Satya
Judaai
Pyaar Ka Sindoor
Pyaar Ke Side Effects
Ek Chadar Maili Si

Really Good / B : 1 film
Jhoom Barabar Jhoom

Okay / B- : 4 films
Kaho Naa...Pyaar Hai
Laaga Chunari Mein Daag
Chori Chori Chupke Chupke
Raja Hindustani

Medicore / C+ : 4 films
Gupt: The Hidden Truth
Taal
Mujhse Dosti Karoge!
Om Jai Jagadish

Bad / C- : 2 films
Kuch Khatti Kuch Meethi
Hameshaa

Very Bad / D : 1 film
Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna

Complete Disaster / F : 1 film
Aap Mujhe Achche Lagne Lage

RWR (Reviewed Without Rating): 0 films

This blog isn't dead!

2010-02-19T22:59:00.000-08:00

No, this blog has not died! I meant to make this post earlier, but I've been so ridiculously busy. I've been working on a faculty-student research project all semester and it focuses on Chinese films; on top of all of my homework and my part-time job, I have to watch about 2 movies per week for this project. Hence, I really haven't had time to watch anything for pleasure, let alone a 3-hour Bollywood film. (Alas!) This blog will be back as soon as I have the time, which will probably be some time this summer.

Gupt: the Hidden Truth

2009-11-01T17:37:00.000-08:00

Gupt: the Hidden Truth -- Secret

MAIN CAST:
Bobby Deol -- Sahil
Kajol -- Isha
Manisha Koirala -- Sheetal

BRIEF PLOT OVERVIEW:
Sahil, the governor's thug-with-a-heart-of-gold stepson, has been causing a lot of problems for his dear stepfather: he's got his heart set on Isha, the secretary's daughter, while his parents have already arranged a match with Sheetal. It seems like a perfect motive when Sahil is caught holding the body of his dead stepfather, the poor man having just been subjected to one of the most poorly-choreographed deaths of all time. (NOTE: large sections of the plot are shamelessly stolen from Count of Monte Cristo.)

FILM -- 2/5
Gupt jumps right in the masala overload before the first half hour has run its course: there's a ridiculous club song, some melodrama with the family, and a silly fight scene where Sahil takes it upon himself to kick the crap out of some goon, bad sound effects included at no extra cost. And it doesn't stop there: Gupt has a stupid sound effect for every occasion and an especially ridiculous costume to go along with it! (By "ridiculous," I mean they threw a bunch of random costume pieces together in an attempt to come up with edgy costumes that just make Bobby Deol look like he raided his grandpa's closet, while the leading ladies look more like bag ladies.) There are plot holes so large you could drive an 18-wheeler through them and leaps of relationship status so wide they could take up dozens of billboards. The attempts at humor are just plain annoying. But between you and me...I sort of like Gupt. I certainly can't love a movie with a story as maudlin and cliche as this one, but it's so 90s and so rife with Kajol that I can't help but enjoy parts of it...you know, the final twist and the other 15 minutes or so of the movie that aren't comprised of corny fight sequences. If that doesn't appeal to you, you can at least check out the hysterically funny almost-kiss that Bobby Deol plants on Kajol's check as "balm" for her wounds.

CHARACTERS -- 2.5/5
Gupt really expects a lot of its viewers. It expects us to believe that the vivacious Kajol and the gorgeous Manisha Koirala would fall head over heels in love with Bobby Deol, who looks and talks like a gorilla. Seriously, this is the kind of movie that proves why the Deol boys shouldn't act: his "dancing" is horrible, he mopes his way through every scene, and they paired his mumbly bass voice with Udit Narayan's crisp tenor vocals. It's just...it's bad, and it doesn't work. Ah, but Kajol and Manisha Koirala are here to save the day! Kajol lights up the screen more than ever, and she totally steals the show. Manisha's character is sweet-as-pie and therefore a little more boring, but the Nepali actress is fresh-faced and charming, and her understated performance deserves some applause. The supporting cast was clearly selected for the biggest "melodrama" factor, and to an extent, it works (this is the 90s, after all).

SOUNDTRACK -- 2.5/5
This soundtrack is 100% synthpop, so if you aren't in to that, turn back now. That being said, there are a few tracks that really do stand out. "Becheniya" has a slow, sensual beat that reminds me of "Tanha Tanha" from Rangeela. "Yeh Pyar Kya Hai Kisine" mixes the synthetic with the traditional, and the picturization is truly stunning...well, at least for the first 30 seconds, and then Bobby Deol's poor excuse for dancing ruins it. Still, the song is kind of fun. "Ayo Pathikichu" is okay, but I much prefer it on screen, because Kajol is so sexy and Manisha is absolutely luminous. The title song is a cheap attempt at a James Bond theme, though it works for a minute or two. The rest of the soundtrack is pretty much adult contemporary garbage. "Mere Sanam," a lame excuse for Kajol to shake her tush on a bunch of high cliffs, and "Duniya Haasino Ka Mela," a lame excuse for Bobby Deol to jerk around in a club, are especially huge blemishes on the soundtrack.

OVERALL -- 2/5
There are a lot of pertinent social issues hidden within Gupt: the choice between holding one to one's heritage and modernizing, the not-so-subtle justification of arranged marriages, the notion of women as property ("I want to give my son a beautiful gift" when the father refers to Sheetal), and so on. But in the end, the judgements Gupt passes on these issues are hardly worth noticing, as they're shrouded in the mist of 90s masala. Quite honestly, it's hard for me to recommend Gupt, because it's nothing special and it stars Bobby Deol, King of Wooden Acting. That being said, Kajol and Manisha Koirala make the experience bearable, and there are a few memorable scenes worth watching at least once.

TOTAL SCORE -- 9/20 (mediocre)

Guru

2009-09-28T14:20:00.001-07:00

Guru

MAIN CAST:
Abhishek Bachchan -- Guru
Aishwarya Rai -- Sujata
Mithun Chakraborty -- Nanaji
Vidya Balan -- Meenu

BRIEF PLOT OVERVIEW:
Guru is a small-town Gujarati boy and, in his father's mind, a failure. But despite all odds, Guru has big dreams: he wants to return to his village and start his own business rather than work for the white men who still control much of India's economy. He even goes so far as to marry Sujata, his friend's older sister, in an attempt to gain enough capital for the business via her dowry, and his profit-making practices slowly become more and more corrupt.

FILM -- 4/5
This is going to sound like a strange complaint, so let me get it out of the way right now: Guru's cinematography often reminds me of a tripped-out MTV music video, where the characters seem disconnected from the background. I mean, look at "Barso Re": Aishwarya often looks like a CG character with equally-computerized backgrounds slapped up behind her. It's not necessarily bad, but it's definitely different, and it caught my attention every time that happened. The movie itself flows relatively well, although there are some more minor plot elements that pop up out of nowhere. Some beautiful imagery, like a train driving between Sujata and Guru, makes up for this flaw. The script is excellent and includes individualized dialogue, including some adorably plucky pieces from Sujata.

CHARACTERS -- 5/5
Guru is one of Abhishek Bachchan's best roles. Guru comes off as being simple and naive at first, but he slowly evolves in to an interesting character with many minor complexities. Charming and down-to-Earth, there's no better actor for this role than Abhishek. Aishwarya Rai is physically confusing to me in this movie; though still pretty, she looks 10 years older than she really is, and her facial expressions are often frightening. Her acting, however, has also aged, and I think that's far more important than how she looks at this part in her career. Her chemistry with Abhishek is very natural and, finally, believable. Nanaji and Meenu add some earthiness to the cast, although I would've liked it if Vidya had had more time to flesh out her character. The supporting cast is superb, and everyone fits their role like a glove.

SOUNDTRACK -- 3.5/5
A.R Rahman can't produce a bad soundtrack--it's just not in him--so even his worst work is, at the very least, "decent." Guru is a perfect example of this. "Barso Re" is proof that nobody can write a rain song like Rahman, but "Mayya" is a mediocre item number that sounds far too modern for a film set in the 1950s. The choreography in "Tere Bina" is mostly terrible, but the song itself is a beautiful love ballad. There's a chant about "Guru-bhai" that runs throughout the film that's powerful and fun at the same time. "Ek Lo Ek Muft" has silly lyrics and vocals that are too slurred to be "good," even if Guru is supposed to be drunk, but the beat is catchy. K.S. Chithra's vocals on "Jaage Hain" are beautiful. "Shauk Hai" is hauntingly beautiful.

OVERALL -- 4/5
Guru is simple, character-driven, and well-crafted. It can be slow, but thanks to your emotional investment in the characters, it's never dull. Though the soundtrack isn't one of Rahman's best and Aishwarya Rai isn't at her prettiest--and lets be honest, those are two reasons why people attend many of their films--Abhishek Bachchan is at the top of his game. Please note, however, that the morality of the ending is easy to call in to question, and while I enjoyed the movie, I was a little perturbed by the excuses it used for some of the characters' actions. This isn't a movie for everybody, thanks to its lack of action and melodrama, but it's definitely worth a rental.

TOTAL SCORE -- 16.5/20 (great)

Satya

2009-08-17T19:40:00.000-07:00

Satya*

MAIN CAST:
J.D. Chakravarthy -- Satya
Manoj Bajpai -- Bhiku
Urmila Matondkar -- Vidya

BRIEF PLOT OVERVIEW:
When Satya arrives in Mumbai, his eyes are full of stars and he's hopeful about life in the big city. Mumbai turns out to be tougher than it looks, however, and a bad run-in with underworld boss Jaggar sends Satya to prison on a bogus prostitution charge. There he meets Bikhu, a hot-headed boss from another gang, and as the two become fast friends, the clever Satya faces a meteoric rise in the underworld.

FILM -- 4/5
Though Satya came out in 1998, it looks and feels like a movie from the previous decade. The shoe string budget produced a movie with low-quality video and audio, as well as some moments of poor equipment management, like when the camera bobs on longshots or when the lights flood out Urmila's face. But don't let Satya's first over-the-top 15 minutes fool you: this is a really great movie. It lures you in by presumably telling you the tale of a single man's fall, then you realize that this story is about how one man's choices can ruin the lives of all those around him. There are some truly amazing-looking shots that manage to shine through the film's cheap-o production and leave you breathless. The script is top-notch, with dialogue that manages to be gangster-appropriate without being filthy and plenty of character between the plots and the gunshots. The action scenes aren't great by any means, and the sound effects are a bit much, but they ARE well-choreographed and, in a film about Mumbai's underworld, they ARE necessary.

CHARACTERS -- 5/5
I've never been a huge J.D. Chakravarthy fan, I'll admit it, but he crafts the anti-hero Satya marvelously. Don't let his Droopy Dog face and unassuming manner fool you; despite all odds, Chakravarthy manages to make Satya both Vidya's bashful boyfriend and Bikhu's ruthless best friend. And Vidya? Ah, Urmila Matondkar! Why people are so down on her, I'll never know! She has a lovely face, and while her performance in Satya doesn't quite top her role in Pinjar, she is nevertheless a charming, if naive, heroine. Her chemistry with Chakravarthy is sweet, but he really shines when he's on-screen with Manoj Bajpai. I bought this movie because I'm a huge Manoj fan and this is the film that shot him to fame, and it's obvious why. Bhiku is nothing like Manoj's usual serious and intense characters--rather, he is a pugnacious rabble-rouser who manages to be both dangerous and endearing--but he fits the part to a T. Some of the minor characters are played by ridiculously melodramatic bit actors, but the rest of the supporting cast is great. I was especially fond of Aditya Shrivastava, who played a proud Inspector who still believes in justice, warped though it may be. The whole cast is great, but between you and me, this is Manoj Bajpai's show, all the way.

SOUNDTRACK -- 2/5
Satya really could've done without its soundtrack. I know people say that about a lot of movies, and then I excuse it by saying the songs break the tension, or I'll watch a perfectly good movie that doesn't have any songs and finish it by saying, "You know, that was great, but where was the damn music?!" Yet Satya really could've done without its music, because it's absolutely terrible. The vocals are often warbly and obnoxious, the lyrics are as corny and bland as they come, and I find it hysterical that the background music was so highly praised after the film's release, because with the exception of a few scenes, said background music is always way too much and runs the gamit of styles from "operatic Latin chanting" to "sitars on the beach". All of the songs are unremarkable with the exception of "Sapne Mein." Like most wedding songs, it manages to shine and interest the viewer.

OVERALL -- 4.5/5
It's all too easy to try and write Satya off as another gangster film that tries to make us feel bad for the underdog as he battles against police corruption and the difficulties of life in the big city. But Satya is much more than that. Yes, it is a gangster movie, and it plays that part well. But it is also a testament to friendship, as the incredible bond between Bhiku and Satya far outstripes even Satya and Vidya's relationship, almost like the oft-lauded platonic love between Amitabh Bachchan and Dharmendra in Sholay. Even more than that, Satya is surprisingly neutral and even-handed in its portrayal of Mumbai. It does not portray the city as a hovel or the country as a backwards nation (as some claim Deepa Mehta's films do), nor does it candycoat India and pretend everybody's life revolves around vacuuming in designer clothes and attending fancy parties (we're looking at you, Karan Johar). We see India's ancient beauty alongside its modern grit, and while the way the underworld sifts through even the most seemingly mundane parts of Indian society makes us grimace, we are easily appeased by the views of a crowded Indian theater, people walking barefoot in the rain without umbrellas, and the overall rag-tag charm that much of Mumbai has to offer. It's not a movie for everyone, but I still highly recommend Satya, all the way.

TOTAL SCORE -- 16.5/5 (great)

* The main character's name, but it can also mean "the ultimate truth."

Kuch Khatti Kuch Meethi

2009-07-25T14:10:00.001-07:00

Kuch Khatti Kuch Meethi -- Bittersweet *

MAIN CAST:
Kajol -- Tina/Sweety
Sunil Shetty -- Samir
Rishi Kapoor -- Raj
Rati Agnihotri -- Archana

BRIEF PLOT OVERVIEW:
Take the classic The Parent Trap and throw in tons of crazy twists, silly songs, and waaaay over-the-top melodrama, and you've got Kuch Khatti Kuch Meethi.

FILM -- .5/1
Where do I start? This is a movie so cliche, so melodramatic, so plain insane that I can hardly begin to describe it. The storyline of two twins with opposite personalities, separated at birth, is a classic Bollywood backdrop for ludicrous stories, but Kuch Khatti Kuch Meethi takes it to a new level. While I have to admit that I honestly love 2/3 of this film BECAUSE it's so crazy, I also have to point out that the whole "greedy stepsister" approach is too twisted, unbelievable, and off the wall for even my tastes. The costumes are absolutely horrible, and the choreography isn't much better, although there are a few moments where Kajol manages to look cute when she dances around. The technology used to superimpose one Kajol next to another is visibly prehistoric. At its best, this film is so bad it's good (hence, my secret love for it), but at it's worst, it's one of the most ridiculous masala films I've ever seen...and that's saying a lot.

CHARACTERS -- 1/5
The one saving grace in this film may be Kajol. Yes, her characters are poorly written, as are most "we're twins who are nothing alike!" characters, but she herself is beautiful and charming. Really, she just lights up the screen. Sunil Shetty is, in my opinion, way too gruff and goonish to play a romantic interest, and he really should stick to playing the villain or the stern anti-hero. His chemistry with Kajol is pretty much nil. Still, movies like this remind me that Sunil Shetty isn't a bad-looking guy. I have to give props to Rati Agnihotri for being so beautiful, even if her character is a doormat who subscribes to the "parents should stay together for the sake of their children" school of thought with minimal persuading, and also some kudos to Rishi Kapoor for being...well, Rishi Kapoor, even if HIS character is a rather lame attempt at depicting the effects of alcohol abuse. The supporting cast is basically garbage, although I do kind of get a kick out of Mita Vasisht's crazy stepsister routine.

SOUNDTRACK -- 3/5
Guys, I have a secret: I actually love a couple of the songs off of this soundtrack. Yes, they're all corny, but some of them are also pretty darn catchy. The title song, for example, is bouncy and fun to dance to, although I'd never dance to it in front of another person. Kajol beats up potential in-laws during the seriously fun "Khud Bhi Nachungi." "Tumko Sirf Tumko" and "Neend Ud Rahi Hai" are relatively bland, run-of-the-mill love ballads, although I'm willing to listen to them as background music. "Saamne Baith Kar" is actually kind of interesting, thanks in part to the classical instruments woven in to it. Also, I dance to the item number "Band Kamre Mein" when nobody is looking.

OVERALL -- 1.5/5
Kuch Khatti Kuch Meethi is just plain bad. You probably didn't need me to tell you that--a mere glimpse at the DVD cover is probably enough to give it away--but just in case you need more persuading, here's a recap of some of the craziness: Kajol rides in a tank, pouring food all over your relatives is apparently a good time, Viagra is not what you think it is, slapping your former wife is a great way to make her come running back in to your arms, and and Sunil Shetty is the love interest. Now, for those of you who haven't run away from this movie screaming yet, let me just say that I do, honestly, love a lot of this movie. What can I say? I dig 90s masala and utter insanity; it brightens my day. But if you're not like me and you're not willing to fastforward/sit through an hour's worth of obnoxious melodrama to get to the unbelievable weirdness that goes on for the other hour and a half of this film, then don't spare Kuch Khatti Kuch Meethi a second glance.

TOTAL SCORE -- 6/20 (bad)

* Literally, "Some bitterness, some sweetness."

1947: Earth

2009-07-22T17:52:00.001-07:00

1947: Earth

MAIN CAST:
Nandita Das -- Shanta
Maia Sethna -- Lenny
Aamir Khan -- Diznavaz
Rahul Khanna -- Hasan

BRIEF PLOT OVERVIEW:
Lenny, a young Parsi girl, lives a charmed life, despite being afflicted with polio. She is lovingly cared for by her beautiful young nanny, Shanta, and the two ladies are surrounded by a variety of admirers, including the wealthy Sikh Sher Singh, Lenny's Hindu gardener, and of course, the "Ice Candy Wallah," a charming and mischievous Muslim with an affinity for poetry and practical jokes. But when the threat of the Partition becomes a reality, Lenny is forced to grin and bear it as her wonderful world is torn to pieces. This film is based on the novel "Cracking India," by Bapsi Sidhwa, and is one of three parts of director Deepa Mehta's elemental trilogy.

FILM -- 4.5/5
Deepa Mehta is a masterful film-maker, and it shows. All of Earth's scenes are handled with the utmost care, from Lenny's tender moments in the park to the terrifying riots in the streets, allowing the viewer to connect to the characters and grasp the gravity of the situation at hand. Yes, there's a bit of shoddy editing, and Earth moves very slowly for the first hour and a half, but it's not as if they're deliberately padding the film; they're simply treading lightly on its content. The script is believable and well-written. Earth's greatest strength may be that, more than any other Partition film, it does not take sides in the slightest. Obviously, the fact that the main character is a young Zoroastrian (people who are a minority the world over) and therefore a relative outsider to the Muslim/Sikh/Hindu violence helps, but so does the careful attention to detail. There is never a moment in the movie where we see one religion in a better light than another, be it a single follower of that religion or a group of devotees.

CHARACTERS -- 5/5
Earth's cast is absolutely superb. Nandita Das' Shanta is a charming, spunky young lady with a flirtatious side, though she's far from silly and is perfectly aware of what's going on around her. Her acting is so natural and her face is so luminous, it's clear why the male characters in the film flock to be around her. Maia Sethna, the young actress who plays Lenny, delivers her dialogue in a rather stilted manner from time to time, but that's about par for the course for a child actress, and it never shakes her character's credibility. Aamir Khan, a technical master when it comes to acting, may break your heart most of all as he carefully portrays Diznavaz's decline from a plucky "ice candy wallah" to a man on a quest for vengeance. The supporting cast is broad, but without a single blight. Everyone, from Kulbhushan Kharbanda (the Imam) to Rahul Khanna (Hasan) fits their part like a glove. As an added bonus, Shabana Azmi narrates the story!

SOUNDTRACK -- 4.5/5
Comprised entirely of background and flavor music, Earth's soundtrack is simple and effective. The songs' emotional lyrics are supported by only a few instruments and, as can be expected from an Indian film, rhythmic drum beats. Sukhwinder Singh and Srinivas are the soundtrack's standout vocalists as they belt or croon their respective tracks, allowing the music to add even more depth to the film's emotions.

OVERALL -- 4.5/5
There's no use in denying that Earth is a truly heartbreaking and honest film. While it isn't quite as perfectly-packaged as Fire, it is vastly more powerful than Water, and it is perhaps the most respectful of the three films in its treatment of Indian culture as a whole. That is, I sometimes felt like Fire and Water went out of their way to make India look terrible, while Earth featured some terrible subject matter and still maintained its integrity. When it comes to films about the Partition, Earth may very well top the list as the most touching of them all. I highly recommend it.

TOTAL SCORE -- 18.5 (almost perfect)

Kaho Naa...Pyaar Hai

2009-07-21T13:23:00.000-07:00

Kaho Naa...Pyaar Hai -- Say...This Is Love*

MAIN CAST:
Hrithik Roshan -- Rohit/Raj
Amisha Patel -- Sonia
Anupam Kher -- Mr. Saxeena

BRIEF PLOT OVERVIEW:
Sonia is a chatty and spoiled, but sweet, rich girl who falls head over heels for Rohit, a poor wannabe musician. It seems like everything is hunky-dory when Rohit returns her feelings, but Mr. Saxeena's illegal dealings threaten to ruin his daughter's idyllic love affair.

FILM -- 2.5/5
I know I should've ran screaming when I heard "Hrithik Roshan and Amisha Patel's film debut" and "double role," but something about this film made me stick around. Maybe it's just my love of Hrithik as a dancer or maybe I wanted to see Amisha looking less manly than usual, but I did plonk down the money for Kaho Naa...Pyaar Hai, and I did watch it one particularly dreary Tuesday afternoon. Let me be honest here: it cheered me up and it entertained me. The script is pretty run-of-the-mill and the action scenes are, of course, godawful, but the candy-coated costumes and energetic choreography help make for it. You can find small pockets of charm hidden throughout the film, despite the rather shoddy editing and often awkward camera angles, and while things like Rohit and Sonia's love seem to pop out of nowhere, other plot twists are slightly less predictable. Cheese and cliche masala elements abound in this film, and yet it manages to keep your attention and can even provide a few warm-hearted chuckles. However, be forewarned that--as one might expect from films of this era--there's a distinct thread of neo-conservatism running through the story.

CHARACTERS -- 3/5
Believe it or not, this is not Hrithik Roshan's worst performance. Despite the fact that KNPH was his first film and he had a tendency to be just plain apalling in his earlier films, Hrithik is actually very charismatic here. (It doesn't hurt that he looks disturbingly gorgeous and his dancing is as fluid as ever.) His acting is much more natural and believable when he plays Rohit, while his chemistry with Amisha Patel is stronger when he plays Raj, but it's an overall decent performance. Amisha Patel, to her credit, manages to actually ACT in this movie. I believed her pain when she first caught sight of Raj, and I thought she was adorable in her obnoxiousness when she gabbed away at Rohit in their raft. She also looks good in this movie; she's no ravishing beauty, but she's at least feminine and pretty here, and she looks a little like Bhumika Chawla. Johnny Level makes an appearance, but it's only for one scene. (An especially disgusting scene, but still, a short one.) I have a deep fondness for Anupam Kher and Farida Jalal, so I enjoyed most of the supporting cast.

SOUNDTRACK -- 4/5
KNPH's soundtrack is pretty popular, and for the most part, I get why. I think the title track is rather overrated, but it's still a fun, upbeat tune. "Na Tum Jaano Na Hum" initially struck me as being way too adult contemporary for my tastes, then stuck with me after a few more plays. "Pyaar Ki Kashi Mein" manages to stand out with its island beat and a beautiful flute refrain. "Chand Sitare" bored me, but it's the most popular song off of the soundtrack, and most people really like this saccharine love ballad. "Dil Ne Dil Ko Pukara" is almost frantic in its attepmts to impress you. My favorite song is "Ek Pal Ka Jeena," a sleek, thumping club tune that features some great dancing by Hrithik Roshan (who is wearing fishnets and leather, I might add!). If you have a special edition of the film, you'll also get the track "Janeman Janeman," which is danceable in its own right. The lyrics in the film are pretty corny, I'll admit it, but the exceptional vocals from artists like Asha Bhosle and Lucky Ali make up for it.

OVERALL -- 3/5
Kaho Naa...Pyaar Hai is nothing special. Yes, it was Amisha Patel and Hrithik Roshan's debut film, and its soundtrack helped skyrocket Lucky Ali to playback singer stardom. But KHPH doesn't do anything previous masala films haven't already done; really, most Bollywood viewers are jaded from love at first sight and random villains tossed about to make the hero look better by comparison. Still, I can't deny that I was entertained from start to finish, beyond a few slow moments, and there are several scenes that I know I'll come back to again and again. If you're looking for a safe timepass with a passable soundtrack and good-looking leads, Kaho Naa...Pyaar Hai is a good choice.

TOTAL SCORE -- 12.5/20 (okay)

* Is it just me, or is the DVD cover image of Hrithik Roshan's thumb under Amisha Patel's strap--as if he's preparing to pull said strap down--surprisingly sexual for a Bollywood film?

Billu

2009-05-15T08:33:00.001-07:00

Billu (Barber)*

MAIN CAST:
Irfan Khan -- Billu
Lara Dutta -- Bindiya
Om Puri -- Daamchand
Shahrukh Khan -- Sahir

BRIEF PLOT OVERVIEW:
Billu is a bright but down-on-his-luck barber whose business is being ruined by a more stylish barber just across the street. When he claims that he is the childhood friend of Bollywood star Sahir Khan, his luck takes a turn for the strange**. Billu is a remake of the Mayalam film Kadha Parayumbol.

FILM -- 4/5
The thing that grabs you about Billu from the start is how beautifully filmed it is. There's a wonderful blend of upper-class cities, as well as traditional working-class villages, and the use of light and color is expert. The film also makes good use of Shahrukh Khan's real-life superstar status by implementing clips from his previous films to provide Sahir with a more glamorous background. The script gets a little sticky at points, but generally speaking, the actors' expert delivery smooths things out. A lot of the costumes are even stickier; however, I forgive the costume department on account of the fact that most of the bad stuff came from purposely over-the-top item numbers, and the rest of the clothes really fit the characters. My one major complaint about this film is that it tends to be a bit slow***, so the sudden song-and-dance numbers catapulting out of nowhere will probably surprise you. More than anything else, Billu is loaded with charm, and it touches us with an odd magic from the moment the opening credits roll.

CHARACTERS -- 5/5
Irfan Khan headlines this film, and while the character he plays is perfectly ordinary and simple, Khan's performance is anything but. He turns Billu in to a living, breathing, tangible person with incredible ease. Granted, Irfan Khan is an amazing actor, so I expected a great performance from him to begin with. Lara Dutta, on the other hand, is a woman I usually call "wooden." Yet she shines in Billu with an understated beauty and exudes a sort of naturalness I've never before seen in her acting. Om Puri channels his late brother Amrish to a certain extent, providing comic relief as a cheapskate loan shark without going too over-the-top. Shahrukh Khan has an extended cameo playing, in essence, himself: a larger-than-life Bollywood star who comes to Billu's village to shoot for a new film. He has some excessively melodramatic moments, even by SRK standards, but he's not the emotional apex of the film, so it's forgivable. The supporting cast is flawless and includes a variety of rustic folk, child and adult alike.

SOUNDTRACK -- 5/5
I'm probably going to get punched for this, but I loved Billu's soundtrack. I have a secret weakness for super-fast-paced dance tunes, and "Love Mera Hit Hit" fits the niche perfectly. I've never heard Neeraj Shridhar's or Tulsi Kumar's voices before, and I still can't hear them well through all of the synthesizers, but it's an amazing club tune regardless. "Ae Ao O" is a very bright rock-styled tune, still heavily synthesized, but in a way that reminds me of many of my favorite classic rock bands. "Billu Bhayankar" adds Indian flavor to the soundtrack with its peppy, folk-inspired instrumentation and its appropriately light-hearted lyrics. "Marjaani" is a fun mixture of Indian rhythms and modern twists, completely with vocals by my beloved Sukhwinder Singh, and...oh my! Is that Kareena Kapoor dancing without looking like a total imbecile?! I think it is! "Khudaya Khair" is a sweet, guitar-backed ballad that is merged in-film with "You Get Me Rocking and Reeling" and features Priyanka Chopra at her sexiest.

OVERALL -- 4.5/5
Billu is far from perfect, but its warmth and charm generally make up for its various flaws. It focuses on friendship, modesty, and honesty, scruples almost any viewer is bound to hold dear to their heart. The performances are especially outstanding, and I can finally call Lara Dutta an actress without feeling like I'm going to puke up my own words. Accented by an upbeat soundtrack and blessed with high replay value, despite its occasional slowness, Billu is well worth a viewing...or ten.

TOTAL SCORE -- 18.5/20 (almost perfect)

* The film is just called "Billu" in India, due to a controversy, but it is still referred to as "Billu Barber" in other countries.

** Several people have complained that the villagers' extreme reactions to Sahir Khan's arrival in the village are way over the top and ruin any sort of credibility in this film. You cannot look at this film through the lense of western cinema. Nothing in the west compares to the idolization of film stars in India. If Shahrukh Khan, or a star even half as important/popular as he was, suddenly arrived in rural India for a few weeks, you'd better believe that everybody in a 5 mile radius is going to go in to a frenzy, and they certainly WOULD act even crazier if they thought somebody in their own little village knew the celebrity. Movie stars are treated like gods in India.

***SPOILER ALERT: Also, one plot hole stuck out at me: if Billu and Sihar grew up together, how come nobody else remembers Sihar as a child? I'm sure Billu wasn't the only person in his life. And why wouldn't Sihar contact Billu after he became famous? I know Billu is poor and doesn't have a phone or any such nonsense, but surely Sihar--rich as he was--could fly out to see the man he essentially owed his career to and, if he couldn't find him, could pay someone to track him down. I know I'm over-analyzing, since this is a feel-good movie, but I was born to over-analyze.

A brief hiatus--back soon!

2009-05-14T16:01:00.001-07:00

As you may or may not know, I am not only a fan of Hindi cinema, nor do I limit myself to Indian cinema. While Bollywood is definitely one of my favorite film industries, I am also interested in other Asian creations, such as Korean dramas and Chinese wuxia films. In my endeavor to become a better Bollywood fan and reviewer, however, I have neglected these other industries.

Hence, The Bolly List will be on a brief semi-hiatus. I'm not saying I won't watch any Bollywood movies or review anything else, but the usual several-films-a-month trend will probably slow down to about one-film-a-month until the summer is over. In the meantime, I intend to re-immerse myself in other Asian film industries.

Thanks for your patience, and I look forward to kicking The Bolly List back up to speed in a couple of months!

Aag

2009-05-10T17:47:00.000-07:00

Aag -- Fire

MAIN CAST:
Raj Kapoor -- Kewal
Kamini Kaushal -- Miss Nirmala
Premnath -- Rajan
Nargis -- Nimmi

BRIEF PLOT OVERVIEW:
Kewal's life is defined by disappointments. He was forced in to law school by his demanding father and failed to live up to his family's expectations, to name a few. But his biggest heartbreak was the loss of his childhood friend Nimmi, and he spends his entire adult life searching for something to fill the gap Nimmi left.

FILM -- 5/5
Aag is a relatively simple film that could've come off as creepy (think Lolita), but is delightful instead, a character-driven film that is artfully crafted around complex characters. The script is well-written, and while the dialogue sometimes borders on the Shakespearean, it is nevertheless believable. There are a few minor editing errors and the lighting is sometimes so strong it white-washes the characters' faces, but other than that, the camera work is wonderful. Symbolism is carefully woven in to the film via effects like the titular fire. Aag is a great beginner's movie for those who have never watched a pre-1960s Bollywood film, because it's just over 2 hours long and moves rather quickly, unlike many other films from yesteryear.

CHARACTERS -- 5/5
Raj Kapoor has rare moments of overacting, mostly when he plays the younger Kewal, but he still delivers a wonderful performance. A surprisingly handsome, charming man, Kapoor is great at speaking with his eyes, and his face is incredibly expressive. Nargis is the true star of the film; she's passionate, pretty, and just plain perfect. One of my favorite film stars, the underrated Nigar Sultana, makes a memorable appearance, and Kamini Kaushal fits her meek character well enough. Premnath plays Rajan, the man who makes Raj's theatrical dreams come true, with ease. I'm not sure who played Kewal's parents, but they were good, too, especially his father.

SOUNDTRACK -- 5/5
Older films tend to have long, wonderful soundtracks, and Aag is no exception. The first song is sung by two villagers, describing the teenage Kewal's passion for his beloved, and Kewal matches its hopefulness with the melancholy of "Zinda Hoon Is Tarah Ke" shortly thereafter. The popular upbeat tune "Raat Ko Ji Chamke Tare" is one of my absolute favorite oldies songs! I liked "Kahe Koyal Shor Machaye Re" a little less, probably because I felt Shamshad Begum's vocals were less than stellar and the song lacked a strong melody, but the background instrumentation is still rather nice. "Na Aankhon Mein" is much more like it: a beautiful song of longing draped over a steady beat like a blanket. My brother heard the instrumental song and said it made him want to "shake his tail feather," but the choreography Nargis does is pretty awful, composed of slouching hand sweeps**. The picturization of the traditional tune from Kewal's play is much better! The final song, "Dil Toot Gaya," is a real gem on par with Mughal-E-Azam's "Mohabbat Ki Jhooti" and another favorite of mine.

OVERALL -- 5/5
I didn't expect to like Aag all that much, and I really only bought it because it was one of the few surviving films that featured Nigar Sultana. Hence, I was pleasantly surprised when Aag turned out to be a great movie! It held my attention from start to finish, and its high technical quality and the incredible performances add to its replay value. One of the best things about this film is that it takes the "childhood love" trope and utilizes it to its fullest, preventing any sort of perversity in Kawal's character by focusing more on the lack of passion in his life represented by a specific girl rather than making that specific girl his sole fixation. Like many older films, you can buy Aag pretty cheap off of most Bollywood stores, and I highly recommend doing so.

TOTAL SCORE -- 20/20 (perfect)

** Not gonna lie: immediately after the song, Kewal grabs her hair and yanks her head back a little, and it turned me on a bit. Rawr!

A COUPLE OF SIDE NOTES:

Take note of the little boy who plays the 10-year-old Kewal. It's a young Shashi Kapoor!

About halfway through the film, Kewal describes the kind of girl he wants to play his heroine. While I know they would've used the same dialogue regardless of who played the actress, I thought it was a beautiful description: "A girl as innocent as a drop of dew. A girl as vibrant as a mountain stream. If she cries, the ocean also screams. If she smiles, she will make the world smile. Such a girl in whose eyes is wine, whose voice has song, and whose walk has magic."

And I know I generally try to avoid posting videos or screenshots at the end of my reviews, but I really loved "Raat Ki Jo," so there you have it!

Judaai

2009-05-04T21:32:00.000-07:00

Judaai -- Separation

MAIN CAST:
Anil Kapoor -- Raj
Sridevi -- Kajal
Urmila Matondkar --Janhvi

BRIEF PLOT OVERVIEW:
Raj is a humble, hard-working engineer who lives a relativley peaceful life with his wife Kajal and their two children. But while Kajal does love Raj and is good at heart, she is often preoccupied with thoughts of material posessions and desires a place in high society. Then Janhvi, the wealthy neice of Raj's boss, comes along and promises to give Kajal all the money she could want...in exchange for Raj.

FILM -- 4/5
I groaned a little when this DVD started up, because Johnny Lever jumped on-screen and stole the whole opening wedding scene in the name of bad humor. Still, Judaai is a well-made movie, especially in a technical sense. The camerawork is really lovely, and special care is taken to work with local colors and scenery. The script isn't perfect, but it's top notch as far as masala goes, with well-crafted dialogue that really suits the characters and an ending that is handled quite well despite its potential for complete WTFness. There's surpisingly little choreography, although what's there is pretty good stuff, and I really loved getting to see Sridevi dance a bit! (Although...,yeah, Anil Kapoor's apparent seizuring during a few of the songs kind of ruined that golden moment for me.) At the risk of making myself very unpopular, I liked a good few of the costumes*. Of course, there are some obnoxious dramatic sound effects and a few moments of awful sound quality, but I've come to expect that from 90s masala. The obligatory action scenes are also over the top, as per usual, but the one where Raj kicks the crap out of Janhvi's obnoxious fiance is followed by an unusually lovely shot of Raj holding an umbrella over Janhvi's head as they walk through the pouring rain; it's this kind of balance that puts Judaai a cut above most old-school masala movies.

CHARACTERS -- 4/5
Anil Kapoor plays another one of his "good as gold" characters with a tendency to preach, but he's incredibly charming and handsome (provided he doesn't show his bare back), which tends to override the more cliche aspects of his part. He also handles the character's situation very delicately, which I appreciated. Sridevi...damn, can we say the ORIGINAL doll face? Her huge eyes make her beautiful and unnerving simultaneously, which I thought made her a good physical match for the character. This was Sridevi's final film role, and she plays it marvelously! The chemistry between Anil and Sridevi is light and fliratious. Urmila Matondkar is perky and pretty, although she seems to lack some of the charisma she had in Rangeela. Regardless, she played her part well and had decent chemistry with Anil, even if I thought they looked a bit like father and daughter at certain points. The supporting cast is a rollercoaster ride in terms of quality, with Farida Jalal making an appearance as Kajal's mother while Johnny Lever simultaneously robs scenes of their joy with some of the worst humor he's even done. Upasna Singh far outstripes him as she plays both an endearing mute girl and her owlish mother with a beautiful singing voice.

SOUNDTRACK -- 3/5
The title track is a decent love ballad with clean, crisp vocals and a humming sort of beat to it. "Raat Ka Need" pops out mid-fight, which I found a bit much even by Bollywood standards, but I forgive that oddness because it's a fun song. Urmila looks surprisingly beautiful during "Mujhe Pyaar Hua," another upbeat song with a great guitar bridge and some rather unfortunate brass instrument interludes. Part of me hates "Pyaar Pyaar" for the sheer obnoxiousness of it while another part dances to it shamelessly. I was longing for a little Indian flavor by this point, so I was really excited when the rhythmic "Main Tujhe Aise" came on. Great song! Then Johnny Lever lip syncs a song that I've blocked from my mind. (If you're wondering why, just reread that last sentence.) "Shaadi Karke" is a little too adult contemporary for me. The final song, a reprise of "Judaai" is a toe-tapping mixture of traditional Indian rhythms with western synthesized instruments, a medley that is relatively affective when it isn't having those loopy guitar riffs.

OVERALL -- 4/5
Judaai seems like a movie everybody's bound to hate, but it's a surprisingly heartfelt and interesting film that manages to stand out from the rest with its great performances and relatively fresh story. The masala moments may ruin Judaai for some viewers, however, and it's important to take the film with a grain of salt, lest you over-analyze it. Beneath its mantle of neo-conservatism, this flick is entertaining and intriguing, and I wholeheartedly recommend it to anyone who can handle a little craziness in exchange for an otherwise great movie.

TOTAL SCORE -- 15/20 (great)

* Several of the Bollywood books I own point out that Urmila Matondkar was apparently a real fashion trend-setter in the 90s. I find that hard to believe with the monochrome turtle neck dresses she wears, but her snappy footwear and her ability to pull off even the craziest costumes with ease soothes my doubts.

2009-05-01T12:59:00.001-07:00

Laaga Chunari Mein Daag -- My Veil Is Stained

MAIN CAST:
Rani Mukherjee -- Vibha
Konkona Sen Sharma -- Shubhavari
Jaya Bachchan -- Mother
Anupam Kher -- Father
Abhishek Bachchan -- Rohan
Kunal Kapoor -- Vivaan

BRIEF PLOT OVERVIEW:
Vibha and Shubhari, two incredibly close sisters, love their life in Benares, but have trouble making ends meet. Vibha attempts to find a job in Mumbai, only to be left with no choice but to become a high-class escort.

FILM -- 3.5/5
LCMD is a Yash Raj film, so of course it's beautifully and colorfully filmed, with top-notch costumes and picturizations. Even if you hate the film, it's pretty to watch. The script is above average, with some contrived dialogue that the actors nevertheless manage to make gold out of and relatively predictable plot twists. There's some jumping around with the plot and the tone of the film, although it wasn't jarring enough to make me write off the movie completely. What little dancing there is is admirable for its energy. The run time is listed as being a little under 2 1/2 hours, but the pace is extremely slow, and parts of the plot are just put in as fan service, like the various romances. Yash Raj also takes the time to sorta-subtly pimp its big stars; for example, Shahrukh Khan is mentioned all throughout the film, and you'll see an ad for Chak De! India pop up as soon as Vibha arrives in the city. Really, this film is quite candy-coated, especially when it deals with the grittier aspects of big city living, but it's got a good bit of charm, so it's still enjoyable.

CHARACTERS -- 4/5
Konkona steals the show; she's beautiful, charming, and incredibly talented. She fits her character, a naive and opinionated younger sister, like a glove. Kunal Kapoor's character is kind of bland when he walks on screen, but he becomes more interesting as the story progresses, and he's still quite handsome. I loved his chemistry with Konkona! Rani Mukherjee looks rather tired throughout the film, but she is still often beautiful and charming. LCMD is character-based, of course, and for the most part, Rani carries the film well. If anything, Konkona provides the realism, Rani the melodrama, and it's a combination that works well enough. Anupam Kher and Jaya Bachchan are lovely as Shubhari and Vibha's parents, characters who are shown at their worst due to money troubles and pride, but are still worthwhile people. Abhishek Bachchan jumps in and out of the film for less than 20 minutes worth of screen time. His only purpose is to be a charming Romeo, and he does well enough with that shell of a character. The supporting cast is a little more "meh," full of stereotypical villains with damages and disabilities. Hema Malini makes a special appearance to perform a short Mujra, and she looks BEAUTIFUL!

SOUNDTRACK -- 2/5
Unlike most Yash Raj soundtracks, Laaga Chunari Mein Daag's music does little for me. Konkona and Rani open the film with the Latin-sounding "Hum To Aise Hain." "Zara Gungunalein" is a typical love ballad between Vibha and Rohan that bored me after a minute or two. "Chunari Mein Daag" has a trippy picturization and is a synthesized tune-o-melancholy that I really loved, maybe because it's the only song with really good lyrics. "Ik Teeki Teeki Si Ladki" is another bland love ballad with typical uber-colorful picturizations. The last song, "Kachchi Kaliyan" manages to finish the film with a bang. Overall, a boring, run-of-the-mill soundtrack that some people will probably enjoy, but is really just composed of easy-listening crap.

OVERALL -- 3/5
It's a common complaint that Laaga Chunari Mein Daag glosses over the harsher aspects of prostitution, and to some extent, that's true. But Pretty Woman did the same thing, and with a much lower class of prostitution. As far as top-tier escorts go, Vibha's life is pretty much right on-target, although I doubt any man would pay so much for an escort who looked so bored during sex, no matter how beautiful she was. While the soundtrack does little for me and the film lacks replay value, thanks mostly to its slow-moving story, it's still worth a viewing.

TOTAL SCORE -- 12.5/20 (okay)

A COUPLE OF SIDENOTES:

While the Yash Raj copy of this film is beautifully packaged, it has a lot of annoying issues attached to it. You have to sit through almost 10 minutes of advertisements to get to the film, and they attempted to make the English subtitles for the songs rhyme, completely changing the translation from the actual meaning. It wasn't enough to keep me from enjoying the film, but it was enough to keep me from liking the disc it was on.

Taal

2009-04-21T17:30:00.000-07:00

Taal -- Rhythm (sometimes translated as "Music")

MAIN CAST:
Aishwarya Rai -- Mansi
Akshaye Khanna -- Manav
Anil Kapoor -- Vikrant

BRIEF PLOT OVERVIEW:
Manav is the son of a wealthy businessman, Mansi is the daughter of a poor folk musician. In typical love story fashion, Manav and Mansi fall in love, but part on a bad note due to a misunderstanding between their families. Mansi becomes a famous singer who never seems to have the same vocal pitch/tone/etcetera while Manav kinda-sorta-inaway struggles to put their relationship back together.

FILM -- 1.5/5
Let's get this out of the way: Taal is brainless fluff. The dialogue is absolutely horrendous, especially when the characters attempt to have dramatic monologues, there's so much padding that I couldn't help but fast forward through a good half hour of the scenes, and the "famous singer" plot thread is a really poor excuse to: 1) bring the poor girl up to the rich boy's level, and 2) shove more songs in to the film. That being said, Taal is popular for a reason: it's pretty brainless fluff. The scenery and the song picturizations are absolutely gorgeous, the make-up and costumes are flashy and really pop, the camera work is excellent, the choreography is simple but intuitive, and a lot of those padding scenes do manage to make use of India's breath-taking landscapes. There are a few cute moments in the film, although the Coca-Cola product placement really bothered me and ruined some of said cute moments.

CHARACTERS -- 2/5
Aishwarya Rai is beyond beautiful, so much so that it's almost worth renting Taal just to look at her. She doesn't get to do a whole lot of acting, and her character is jarringly static, but she manages well enough with what she's given. Akshaye Khanna, however, is one of the worst actors I have ever seen. A more charming or talented man could probably make Manav interesting and memorable, but Akshaye's portrayal just makes the character seem bipolar in a very unremarkable way; I actually had to look up his name when I wrote this review because I paid so little attention to him. Seriously, every time he walked on screen, I just rolled my eyes. Anil Kapoor is the opposite. Vibrant, somewhere between grating and great, and that makes him more praise-worthy than anybody else in the cast. (It probably doesn't hurt that his character is the only one who seems to see shades of gray and has an ambiguous purpose in the film.) The supporting cast is okay. I was especially pleased with Amrish Puri, whose over-the-top masala villains rarely show the fact that he is capable of much more, like the more mellow "villain" he plays in Taal.

SOUNDTRACK -- 5/5
For most people, Taal is a hit for one reason and one reason only: its soundtrack. Composed by A.R. Rahman and Subhash Ghai, it is an absolute masterpiece that manages to meld traditional Indian elements with modern flavor to keep the pieces individual, fresh, and beyond beautiful. The title song, "Taal Se Taal Mali," is intoxicating, with steady drum beats and lilting flute notes creating a steady rhythm for Alka Yagnik and Udit Narayan's passionate vocals. The western hip-hop version is rhythmic and fun. "Ishq Bina" seems slow at first, but it slowly unfolds in to a beautiful love song with great instrumentation. "Ramta Jogi" is one of the most underrated songs on the soundtrack; it's passionate and features a deep, thumping beat that really sticks in your head, although it features Sukhwinder Singh's vocal talents, so I'm probably biased. I think "Ni Main Samajh" gets a little repetitive halfway through, but other than that, it's an awesome dance track. "Kahin Aage Lage" is cute, and while I don't think Asha Bhosle's vocals were a good match for Aishwarya Rai, the picturization is perfect otherwise. "Nahin Samne" is an airy ode to melancholy. "Kariye Na" rounds off the soundtrack with a bang.

OVERALL -- 2/5
If I look at Taal as a whole, I see a vapid and poorly-written love story with rare pockets of charm that barely manage to keep the film afloat, a mish-mash of cliches, bad acting, and misplaced physical beauty. But if I put my cynical side to rest and keep the trusty "skip" button on my remote ready, I see Taal as a series of incredible music videos that are beyond compare. And that's the way you have to think of this movie. The name isn't lying: it's all about the music. If you're curious about Taal, go on ahead and watch it, but don't be surprised if the only thing you walk away with is a renewed faith in Bollywood picturizations or Rahman and Ghai's compositional skills.

TOTAL SCORE -- 10.5/20 (mediocre)

Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna

2009-04-06T13:41:00.000-07:00

Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna -- Never Say Goodbye

MAIN CAST:

Shahrukh Khan -- Dev

Rani Mukherji -- Maya

Abhishek Bachchan -- Rishi

Preity Zinta -- Rhea

Amitabh Bachchan -- Sam

Kirron Kher -- Kamal

BRIEF PLOT OVERVIEW:

SRK is Dev, a total jerk who's married to the successful Rhea. Maya is a boring germaphobe who marries her friend Rishi because it's convenient. And when Maya and Dev start cheating on their spouses with each other, we're supposed to feel for these grating characters. That's the best way I can summarize the shit that is Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna.

FILM -- 1.5/5

I'm a realist. I don't expect incredible things from Karan Johar, oh He-of-the-Candy-Floss-Films. I expect some crazy masala goodness, pretty colors, a nice soundtrack, and some charm. And KANK does include a variety of pretty costumes (poorly placed though they may be--nobody wears a skin-tight designer dress when they vacuum, KJo) and lavish picturizations. But beneath its shiney surface, KANK is completely void of any value, even at the basic emotional level. The script is mind-numbingly stupid, and when the exception of a few funny moments, I found most of the dialogue beyond the realm of possibility. It's all so slow, I was ready for this movie to be over after an hour. On a sidenote, I write about sex, and I was almost offended by how mis-represented BDSM was, and how they completely marginalized the importance of a sex life in a healthy relationship.

CHARACTERS -- 1/5

I'm a huge fan of complex characters. I like it when my characters manage to be engaging via their strengths and their faults, and more often than not, I think you can build a successful film off of that dynamic alone. Alas, for KANK fails miserably! SRK's character is a douche from the start, but he becomes a real jackass after he hurts his leg. Rani Mukherji, on the other hand, is dull and bland; she usually has the brilliance of a pearl and the charm to match, but here she's just a cute Indian woman who whines a lot. It wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't so over-the-top, and it really annoyed me that Karan Johar was really trying to make us sympathize with completely unsympathetic characters while he demonized the more admirable Rhea and Rishi. Okay, so Rhea was pretty one-dimensional as well, but I felt Rishi was really beaten on for no reason. I mean, yeah, he's kind of childish, but he gets it honestly enough (and as annoying as Big B was in parts of the film, I give him props for making me laugh), and there's never any malice in his actions. Or Rhea's, for that matter. And yet, they are the characters the screenplay openly bashes while it glories in Maya and Dev's nasty melodrama, trying to make us see layers that don't even exist, trying to make us accept the fact that these two selfish characters who are too lazy to try and work through their problems become acceptable people when they just ignore them. On top of that, everybody overacts; their dialogue is stilted and they often sound like they're reading off of cue cards. I give the characters half a point for Kirron Kher and Amitabh Bachchan, and an extra half a point for Kajol's special appearance. Other than that, the characters are too poorly written and executed for me to feel anything but anger towards them.

SOUNDTRACK -- 1/5

The title song is nice, but very run-of-the-mill. The same goes for "Tumhi Dekho Naa," despite its pretty picturization. "Rock and Roll Soniye" is cute for the first verse or two, at which point I just get sick of its cheesiness. "Mitwa" is a surprisingly wonderful pop ballad, but while I loved the dream/reality cuts, it looked stupid when they actually had SRK lip-syncing.

OVERALL -- 1.5/5

I am not like the many reviewers who hated this film just because it revolved around adultery. You don't have to agree with a topic to think the media based on it is interesting, and there are many books, plays, and films about extramarital affairs that are absolutely incredible and include intriguing, well-written characters. Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna, however, is not one of them. It's poorly written, features some of the worst performances from the 4 leads I have ever seen, has a lackluster soundtrack, and generally just doesn't handle the material well. The final hour is beyond all believability. Rent it if you really like one of the leads and want to screencap them in Karan Johar's typical candy-coated scenery and costumes, but beyond that, KANK really isn't worth your time.

TOTAL SCORE -- 5/20 (very bad)

Pyaar Ka Sindoor

2009-04-05T19:43:00.000-07:00

Pyaar Ka Sindoor -- Sindoor of Love

MAIN CAST:
Anil Kapoor -- Anil Kapoor
Jyoti -- Saraswati

BRIEF PLOT OVERVIEW:
Saraswati is heartbroken when her beloved husband Madhav dies in a tragic boating accident, leaving her a widowed mother. Then Anil comes in to her life, and somehow, when nobody is looking, love blooms. Nothing is ever easy, of course, and Saraswati is eventually torn between her love for her child and her desire for freedom and happiness.

FILM -- 3.5/5
First, let me get this off of my chest: the physical quality of this film is absolute shit. The movie is grainy and smeary; the film is loaded with little white break lines and grain. It looks like it came out of the 60s. On top of that, the dialogue is badly dubbed, and you will constantly see a character's mouth move in the opposite direction of their words. All that aside, Pyaar Ka Sindoor strikes me as a wonderfully-crafted film. The dialogue is good, and the story as a whole is filled with little nuances that make your heart catch in your throat, although the ocassionally mistimed jumps in the plot may make your "WTF" sensors chime in as well. There's some melodrama, of course, but not enough to push the film beyond the realm of believability. There is also a distinctly Indian flavor about the film, with buildings and customs both ancient and beautiful. Really, beyond a few of Anil Kapoor's costumes, there's next to nothing non-Indian about this film. And oh, did I mention? This is a pro-widow's rights, women's empowerment film! Saraswati and how she handles the confines of society, that's the focus of the film, and every time the patriarchy rears its ugly head, its either shot down by a character or carefully demonized by the director. I thought the ending would turn around and snap all of that good pro-woman stuff in jaws of cultural righteousness, but instead, I ended up crying buckets. Even if you don't appreciate the film as a whole, its wonderfully feminist message earns a few kudos. Fair warning, however: this film is roughly 2 hours in length, which is short as far as Bollywood goes, but for some odd reason, it feels VERY long, probably because it focuses on the characters' slow developments rather than a grandiose plot.

CHARACTERS -- 4/5
Jyoti is the heroine of the film and its true star. Really, I was surprised by how well she acted...well, beyond her super-fake laughing. When she remembers her husband, her face and her body fill with so much sadness, it's impossible not to feel for her. Pyaar Ka Sindoor was apparently her only film, which is I shame, because I would love to see her in other films. Lord, Anil Kapoor is young and super-scrawny in this movie! His dialogue delivery is a little stilted, but his body language is lovely, and everything about him just seems so sincere and genuine. But oh, how I hate it when Bollywood movies just use the actors' real name! It really grates on me. The JyotiAnil chemistry is slow to develop, but it's very believable. The supporting cast is pretty good, although there's so little information on this film that I'm having difficulty figuring out their names.

SOUNDTRACK -- 3.5/5
The opening track, "Bansi Bajeya," is full of classical Indian instruments and gorgeous vocals, all working harmony. I adored it. "Dhruvam Mritu" is so sad, so beautiful, so melancholy, layered over images of the widowed Saraswati remembering her husband. "Anjaan Sur" is...well, it's a really nice traditionally-styled song with some awesomely crazy costumes, don't get me wrong, but I need the image of Anil Kapoor's scrawny legs in tights permanently wiped from my brain. "Ghulshan Se Phool" is a cute love song about flowers and gardens and what-not, but it's nothing special. The background music is dated, but that's to be expected, and it generally suits the situations. The various chants and traditional Indian songs are lovely and help flesh out the otherwise short soundtrack.

OVERALL -- 4/5
Pyaar Ka Sindoor, for all of its flaws, really is a film about women's empowerment. It constantly tries to nudge the viewer to Saraswati's side, and her relationship with Anil is so delicately planned out that it's nigh on impossible to be angry at her for what some may consider "selfishness." After all, as a widow in the heart of India, what other options did she have, short of becoming a shell of herself? The "sneaking," the shyness, all of the pain and happiness and guilt and uncertainty...the writers and directors welded refreshing feminism and honesty in to what could have been an ordinary melodrama. And of course, the aforementioned "Indian flavor" greatly added to my enjoyment of the film and made it all the more real for me. Pyaar Ka Sindoor is a very simple story, but it works. It IS an agonizingly slow film, despite its relatively short run-time, and therefore I don't think I'll watch it very often. But it's pro-woman stance, cute soundtrack, and touching moments make it well worth a viewing.

TOTAL SCORE -- 15/20 (great)

Chori Chori Chupke Chupke

2009-03-28T09:25:00.000-07:00

Chori Chori Chupke Chupke -- Secretly, Quietly

MAIN CAST:

Salman Khan -- Raj

Rani Mukherji -- Priya

Preity Zinta -- Madhu

BRIEF PLOT OVERVIEW:

Raj and Priya meet at a friend's wedding and fall madly in love with each other. Life seems wonderful when they're married and Priya gets pregnant, but in a case of "medical science only possible in Bollywood" and "overrused Bollywood plot twists" colliding, Priya becomes barren, and she and Raj must hide the fact from the rest of the family to keep Raj's ailing grandfather healthy. To keep up appearances, Raj hires a prostitute, "Madhubala," to act as a surrogate mother.

FILM -- 3/5

C4 has its ups and downs. The script is merely "okay;" there's a good 30 minutes worth of material that could easily be removed, and some of the dialogue is really over-the-top, even by masala standards, but at least a lot of the humor hits home. The ending is a mixture of "total WTF" and "totally expected." The sound quality is pretty good, but considering visually gorgeous movies like Asoka were coming out around the same time, the picture quality is below par. The costuming is "meh," and while most of the outfits fit the characters, some of the clothes are really unflattering and need sent back to the 80s to die a slow, painful death.

CHARACTERS -- 3/5

Salman Khan is really charming in this movie and Rani is just plain darling, although they are both a little boring, thanks to their squeaky-clean characters. The low-class-hooker-with-a-secretly-good-heart role remniscent of Julia Roberts' stint in Pretty Woman really fits Preity Zinta, and she became my favorite character in the movie almost instantly. Granted, she was given a little more room to break free and go wild than the others, but at the same time, her youthful energy really leant her to the character. The three leads are all at their physical best, and there's good romantic and friendly chemistry to be had. I actually think Amrish Puri is highly underrated as a character actor, thanks to his many over-the-top villain parts, and I really liked him as Raj's laddoo-stealing grandfather. He was just so sweet! Alas, beyond Amrish Puri and Farida Jalal, the rest of the supporting cast isn't that good, and Johnny Lever makes an especially obnoxious appearance.

SOUNDTRACK -- 3.5/5

"Number One Punjabi" has a regrettable title, but it's so damn catchy and fun, and it's one of my favorite Bollywood songs. "Dekhne Waloon Ne" is a typical masala love song, complete with the Swiss alps and a cute couple, and of course, it gets old after a verse or two. Preity's dirty dancing in "Deewani, Deewani" makes up for its lack of finesse with its energy in-film, and the song is surprisingly good if you ignore the (fittingly) tacky lyrics. "Dil Tera Mera Dil" is my kind of song: sweet, sugary, and very 90s. The title song has that odd island flavor that a lot of masala soundtracks seem to favor, thanks to the guitar riffs, and while the picturization is in many was archetypical, it makes you feel for Madhu. The final medley, "Mehndi," is surprisingly beautiful and passionate. The awful background music ranges from squeaky saxophones to moaning all-girl choruses.

OVERALL -- 3/5

This is not an incredible movie that inspires and touches us. It's full of WTF moments, bad background music, and random masala oddities. But let's be honest here: C4 tried something new and managed to tread lightly on some rather touchy subjects, and that's worthy of praise. It does blatantly rip Pretty Woman from time to time, but it applies the little touches and quotes in a different way, so I forgive that as well. In the end, Chori Chori Chupke Chupke is a pleasant timepass that stands out from other masala films and keeps you entertained despite a few hiccups. It's definitely worth a rental or a cheap purchase.

TOTAL SCORE -- 12.5/20 (okay)

A Tribute to Sukhwinder Singh

2009-03-14T11:06:00.001-07:00

I've decided to start doing tributes to my most beloved performers once in a blue moon, and who better to start with than the man with the most incredible baritone voice ever? No, I'm not talking about Shahrukh Khan, who is a favorite of mine and whose scratchy vocals on "Bole Chudiyan" were more than adequate. Nor am I talking about Amitabh Bachchan, whose signature voice is often utilized in movies like Baabul and Kabhi Khushi Kabhie Gham. I'm talking about the one, the only, Sukhwinder Singh.

A short description is required for those of you who live under a Bollywood rock and have never heard this man sing. Sukhwinder is an iconic playback singer, as well as a composer and lyricist, who began his career around the age of 7, singing popular filmi songs on stage. Though he had been singing for crowds for several years beforehand, his big break was the song "Chaiyya Chaiyya" in Dil Se, still considered one of his best performances. He has won several Filmfare awards for his vocals, and his performance in Slumdog Millionaire's "Jai Ho" earned the song an Academy Award.

Now, call me crazy, but I think Sukhwinder's voice has changed a lot since "Chaiyya Chaiyya." If you played his post-Dil Se work and "Chaiyya Chaiyya" side by side, I wouldn't even begin to think that they were the same singer. In my opinion, Sukhwinder's voice has become a bit more "throaty" in recent years, which has also made him stand out more amongst the more "lilting" playback singers like Shaan and K.K. Furthermore, his belting voice--to me, his most valuable asset--has improved dramatically. Yeah, he belted the crap out of "Chaiyya Chaiyya," and it sounds amazing, but now it's almost as if he doesn't even have to work to powerbelt songs like "Chak De! India" and "Ghanan Ghanan."

Some people may also have noticed that Sukhwinder's appearance has changed as well, trading in his mustache and traditional sherwanis for the clean-shaven look and more "modern" clothing. To be quite honest, I don't give a fig what he wears; he will always have the same incredible voice, and whenever I picture him, I always think of that first picture above, where he's wearing the red turban and smiling broadly. That, to me, is the incomparable Sukhwinder Singh.

I'm going to finish this up with a bit of sad news about the wonderful Sukhwinder-ji: apparently, several people posing as his "managers" have been using his name for nigh on a year to rack up "performance costs," eventually going so far as to say that Sukhwinder will not perform for less than Rs. 35 lakh per show. Still, some people would shell out the incredible amount of money, and Sukhwinder--who received the bookings, but did not realize how much these people were charging--would go to the shows and sing his heart out while the schemers pocketed ridiculous amounts of dirty money. Sukhwinder didn't find out until someone came up to him and said he'd love to book him, but he "cost too much." The playback singer has since come to say that he would never charge such an insane amount of money for a performance, and that he only received 1/3 of that sum and figured that was that. Honestly, it's awful how some people are just leaping to take advantage of others' talents.

On a much lighter note, here are just a few of my favorite Sukhwinder Singh performances. I hope you enjoy them!

Mujhse Dosti Karoge!

2009-03-05T11:53:00.001-08:00

Mujhse Dosti Karoge! -- Will You Be My Friend?

MAIN CAST
Hrithik Roshan -- Raj
Rani Mukherjee -- Pooja
Kareena Kapoor -- Tina

BRIEF PLOT OVERVIEW
Shaped around the old tale Cyrano de Bergerac, Mujhse Dosti Karoge! tells the story of three friends who end up in a truly twisted love triangle, thanks to 15 years worth of letters that Pooja sent to Raj in Tina's name.

FILM -- 3/5
The script is really cliche and run-of-the-mill, although it has some pockets of charm stashed away in its depths. Even if, you know, the story kind of goes nowhere fast. And the rather predictable twists and speeches come flying at you at 100mph. And the speeches in and of themselves are--okay, I'm shutting up now. The picture and sound quality are great, although I hated the little "a-ha!" noise they played every time Tina played hard to get. Yash Raj knows how to work its budget and its cameras, so be prepared for lots of great city shots! The costuming is great and really fits the characters, as Pooja's outfits are wholesome and classy, Tina's funky and trendy, and Raj's an eclectic mix between traditional Indian colors and English simplicity. All in all, a decently put together movie, but still a very cliche one.

CHARACTERS -- 2.5/5
There's a good deal of overacting and out-of-control body twitching in MDK, but for some odd reason, I still kind of liked the characters. Hrithik Roshan is as charming as ever, and his dancing is wonderful. His acting isn't up to Jodha Akbar standards, though, so don't go expecting a landmark performance. Loved the character's sweetness in the first hour, hated his temper tantrums during the rest of the film. Raj was a real Jekyll and Hyde. Kareena Kapoor plays her typical "bratty girl" role, but I'll give her props: it's something she knows how to do. Plus, she doesn't look like a total imbecile when she dances in this movie. Rani is as radiant as ever, but also give a "typical performance" as she pouts, smiles, and generally just walks around look lovely and misunderstood. Rani just doesn't seem to fit with the other two, however, not for any lack of trying, but just because she's so physically different. Kareena Kapoor and Hrithik Roshan look like perky college kids to me, while Rani Mukerji has always struck me as a natural, mature beauty, a more adult prettiness versus Kareena's hit-or-miss spoiled rich kid looks. Hence, the chemistry--romantic and friendly--is a bit off in many of the scenes. They aren't the worst jodis I've ever seen, though. The supporting cast is great and includes many popular actors as "window dressing," including Jaya Bachchan and Uday Chopra.

SOUNDTRACK -- 2/5
"Andekhi Anjaani" features some slightly distracting island beats and guitaring, and I really hate Lata's voice over top of Kareena and Rani. The island flavor continues in to the title song, although it's a much better, bouncier tune. "Oh My Darling" is catchy enough to be good, lyrically stupid enough to be a guilty pleasure. (The song is 10x better in-film because you get to laugh at Kareena's jerking around versus Hrithik Roshan's incredible fluidity on the dance floor.) "Jaane Dil Mein" is a rather boring ballad, and Uday Chopra's grand entrance, "Sanwali Si Ek Ladki" is pretty plain as well. There's a great medley featuring 18 different songs from older films...and I think it says something that I cared more about a medley than any of the original songs. There's some track blending, but I have to forgive it, thanks to Sonu Nigam's incredible vocals on most of the songs. Other than that, I don't much care for this soundtrack, and I doubt I'll listen to it much outside of its original context. As far as Yash Raj stuff goes, Mujhse Dosti Karoge! is not up to par.

OVERALL -- 2.5/5
One of the nice and oft-underrated things about MDK is that the characters fall in love with each other for something other than their physical appearances. Sure, Raj thinks Tina is beautiful, but what he's really fallen in love with is the person he's known only through writing--if he knew Pooja had written those letters, he'd surely be in love with her, but we wouldn't have a plot device, would we? Beyond that good point, this film is typical Yash Raj fare: fluffy, mildly eccentric, slightly shallow, colorful, predictable, but most of all, entertaining in an air-headed sort of way. There's no originality here, nor is there anything that really sets MDK apart from other romantic masalas, but hey, some people like that! I don't think the cast gels very well, if only because of that physical appearance issue; otherwise, everything worked just fine. If you want to be entertained and enjoy light-hearted love stories with no point to them beyond making your insides feel warm and fuzzy, give Mujhse Dosti Karoge! a try. If you want something stimulating or unique, however, this is not the film for you.

TOTAL SCORE -- 10/20 (mediocre)

Hey Ram

2009-03-03T11:28:00.000-08:00

Hey Ram -- Oh God *

MAIN CAST
Kamal Haasan -- Ram
Atul Kulkarni -- Shri Ram
Rani Mukherji -- Aparna
Shahrukh Khan -- Amjad **
Vasundhara Das -- Mythili

BRIEF PLOT OVERVIEW
Like Pinjar, Hey Ram chronicles the effects of India's tragic partition through the eyes of a single character, a Brahmin archaeologist named Ram. Ram's original belief that India should remain a united country and his trust in men regardless of their religion are shattered when his beloved wife is raped and murdered by a gang of Muslims. Driven mad by grief, Ram joins Shri Ram, a Hindu fundamentalist, and agrees to take part in a plot to kill Gandhi, the supposed cause of it all.

FILM -- 4.5/5
Though it was made in the year 2000, Hey Ram suffers from one of the biggest pitfalls of 90s films: the sound and picture quality are very smudgy and poor. This doesn't change the fact that the film is wonderfully directed; amazing care has been taken with the camera angles and the lighting, producing various emotions in viewers and connecting us to the characters, even when some deep-seated part of us says we cannot agree with their actions. Even sound (low quality though it is) is used to the film's advantage, like in the opening sequence, when the sound of mucus being pumped out of Ram's throat is played in sharp contrast to the nonchalant conversation between two younger men. The script drags a bit in parts, but is still wonderfully written, meant to build your spirit, then break it with a single blow. A great example of this is the scene prior to Aparna's rape, where there is so much happiness between her and Ram, but her talking about how she's afraid of being sexually assaulted builds that tension in the viewer's mind, since we know what's going to happen, and when it does happen...it still hurts us. And these are not scenes like those found in Bandit Queen or Rome, because while they are terrifying and heart-breaking and difficult to watch, they are not inserted just for shock value. Trucks full of corpses, men hung in trees, children throw in to fires...they are truly representative of the horrors of the Partition, and that honesty, if anything, is what makes them so hard to swallow.

CHARACTERS -- 5/5
Kamal Haasan's performance is absolutely incredible. His portrayal of Ram is perfectly nuanced, and the character's journey from a happy human being to an insane force of rage and destruction is incredible. I was constantly moved by Haasan, even when Ram did something completely despicable, because he played the part so well. I felt the opposite about Shri Ram, whose intense hatred for Muslims and their "enablers" made me shiver. But Shri Ram is supposed to make your blood boil and breath run cold, and Kulkarnki manages to do all that and more. We are forced to listen to Shri Ram filling Ram's ears with poison in a way few villains have before. Shahrukh Khan received top billing for his role as Amjad, even though the part is very short. Yet it's an important role, as he is a Muslim and Ram's closest friend, and it's one SRK handles well. Rani Mukherji's part is equally short, but doubly important, as her death is the catalyst for Ram's mental breakdown. She doesn't get to do much in the way of acting, but she looks beautiful while she's on-screen, and she has surprisingly lovely chemistry with Kamal Haasan. (Word to the wise: they even have a love scene! Gasp!) Hema Malini makes an appearance, and I liked both her and Vasundhara Das, who played her daughter Mythili. The latter's innocence is purposely placed in opposition to Ram's jaded outlook on life.

SOUNDTRACK -- 4.5/5
"Chahe Pandit Ho" sounds a little cheesey, thanks the the harmonica and flamenco-esque beat, but the vocals and the lyrics are lovely. Mythili sings a beautiful, clasically-styled tune with perfect soprano vocals. Ram's flashbacks are laid under "Chhan Ki Jawla Thi Tan Mein," a sad song with piano music backing it. A medley of classical tunes makes up "Iprit Zala," which is resplendent with tinkling bangles and lovely women. I found the background music a bit off, thanks to the fact that it sometimes tries to play dramatic melodies with high-flying flute notes. For example, the music that they play during death scenes...it sounds like something you'd hear when a couple of Disney characters are causing mischief. The orchestra work makes up for it, though, as do the many Hindu devotional chants scattered about.

OVERALL -- 5/5
Hey Ram is marred by minor cosmetic flaws, like the poor sound and picture quality, but other than that, it is an absolutely incredible, powerful film. Like Pinjar, the point isn't that one religion is better than the other, the point is that religion can lead us to do horrible things. Both the Muslim and Hindu mobs are driven by prejudiced principles that separate people and make them do inhuman things in the name of a god or an ideal. It is people who are sick, not their religion; it is people who craft and create religious boundaries between each other and justify their actions with their religions. Hey Ram is not a happy movie, which tampers its replay value, but its a film I think everyone should watch at least once, thanks to its relevant subject matter and its excellent performances. Be warned, however: it is not for the faint of heart.

TOTAL SCORE -- 19/20 (almost perfect)

* The word "Ram" is played on several times throughout the film. First of all, there's the obvious translation of, "Oh God!" However, the last words of Gandhi--who was assassinated during this film's timeline--were supposedly, "Hey Ram." Furthermore, the main character's name is Ram.

** Amjad is often referred to as a "Mussalman." This means "Muslim." Somebody told me it came from an old word for "Turkish," but I've never been able to verify that.

A COUPLE OF SIDENOTES:

One thing many people notice about Hey Ram is its symbolism. And indeed, there is a lot of it: the elephant in the streets, the piano, the color white (actually, color in general), Ram's drug-induced dreams, his shattered glasses...there is deep meaning attached to just about everything you see in this film, so look around for it.

Now for a personal story. I first saw this film a few years ago with an Indian boyfriend (the one mentioned in my review of Swades) and his grandmother, a tough Punjabi woman who was a huge fan of Shahrukh Khan. (Cute, yeah?) While my boyfriend and I squirmed in our seats, his bebe sat through the whole film as silent and stern as a stone. When the film was over, my boyfriend asked her something in Hindi, which lead her in to a long-winded speech I couldn't understand a word of.

Her words must have been powerful, though, because my boyfriend looked absolutely stunned and refuses to give me a complete word-by-word translation even to this day. But he said that, in summary, his grandmother found it pitiful that so many people want America to be considered a "Christian nation," when giving a religion sole ownership of a country simply divides everyone in to these awful battles. (His grandmother, of course, was alive during the Partition.) He translated just one of her phrases directly for me, but it's a phrase she used many times throughout her speech, and it has always stuck with me: "This is yours, and this is mine...why do you want such pain?"

Om Jai Jagadish

2009-02-24T21:30:00.000-08:00

Om Jai Jagadish **

MAIN CAST
Anil Kapoor -- Om
Fardeen Khan -- Jai
Abhishek Bachchan -- Jagadish
Mahima Chaudhry -- Ayesha
Urmila Matondkar -- Neetu
Tara Sharma -- Puja
Waheeda Rehman -- Saraswati

BASIC PLOT OVERVIEW
There isn't much in the way of plot for the first 2/3 of this movie, so I'll summarize the best I can: Om, Jai, and Jagadish are three brothers who live with their widowed mother. They travel a variety of different paths, but eventually come back together when some rich guy threatens to take away their beautiful villa at the sea. (Look, I tried. There isn't a whole lot of substance here.)

FILM -- 2/5
There are a lot of slightly-different versions of the same scene pasted together, ie, a character dancing in an elevator is shown in a cut going up, then a cut going down, back and forth and back and forth. It's not really bad--its a common device in films to show a bunch of cuts when you're filming silly scenes--but OJJ uses the trope in excess. That being said, there's some really good, smooth camera work; I really liked the opening scenes of everyone moving about the house. The writing is the opposite, though, and while the camera work flows like water, the dialogue is choppy and the plot tends to meander about aimlessly. You actually don't run in to much of interest storywise until the end of the film. A lot of the scenes are super-cute, though, and I didn't completely hate the costuming or the choreography.

CHARACTERS -- 2.5/5
Fardeen Khan's Jai is a sweet little golden boy, a young college student who dreams of creating the world's fastest car and is blatantly tied to his mother's apron strings. He's so good he's saccharine, and since he's attending college outside of India, he is often accompanied by really bad white actors. Anil Kapoor is equally good, but in a different way: Om is a law-abiding, preachy, bound-to-traditions type of character who is so insistent on sticking to the book that he starts to grate on you. It wouldn't be so bad if Om or Jai's goodness was taken down a few notches, but the two of them combined really start to grate on you after a while. Jagadish is a more tolerable character, a teenager who is motivated by boyish naivete rather than a grandiose plan to better himself. I still don't care much for Abhishek's dancing, but I'll give him his props: at least he tries! I inititally disliked Mahima's character, a girl named Ayesha who VJs an Indian version of MTV's Punked, but she's so goddamn beautiful and charming that I can't entirely hate her. Besides, her upbeat attitude really softened Om's character and made him grow on me, so hurrah! Newcomer Tara Sharma was kind of cute, provided the make-up artist didn't go too crazy on her face, but she was a bland actress and didn't impress me much. Urmila Matondkar* is a good match for Jai because their characters do the same two things: look adorable and let their halos shine. In a general sense, this cast is loaded with stars who tried hard, but didn't really cut it in the end. Another downside is that there are many incredibly close male bonds depicted, but there are no developed relationships between the women of the film. Hence, the female characters are even more 2-dimensional than the male characters.

SOUNDTRACK -- 1.5/5
The opening interpretation of "Om Jai Jagadish" didn't wow me, but it was still a lovely version of an old favorite with truly beautiful vocals. The song Jagadish and Ayesha dance to is an upbeat dance tune that will really only interest you for the first verse or two, after which point it gets very repetitive. "This Is Our Love Story" sounds like something on a 90s adult contemporary station, and not in a good way. The only song I really enjoyed was "Happy Days," which was kind of stupid, but still fun. There's an obnoxiously sweet song the whole group (minus Puja) sings about how love is equal to holiness that earns a few bonus points for having nice vocals and a great drum beat. I don't remember much else about the soundtrack, because it was as unremarkable as the script. The songs don't flow very well, either, and they tend to pop out at the most inopportune moments.

OVERALL -- 2/5
Om Jai Jagadish pales in comparison to better films in many arenas. It lacks a great script, its star-studded cast performs poorly, and the soundtrack is barely passing decent. The plot doesn't pick up until the last half hour or so while the rest of the film meanders. That said, Om Jai Jagadish exudes a surprising amount of heart. It's obvious that, for all of its technical faults, the film never lacked love from the people making it. I won't watch Om Jai Jagadish much, and I doubt it'll become anybody's favorite movie, but it's worth a rainy-day viewing if you like any of the three male leads. Otherwise, give Om Jai Jagadish a pass.

TOTAL SCORE -- 8/20 (mediocre)

* And of course, Urmila Matondkar's character is an NRI, so they have to turn her in to an obnoxious bitch. It's rather annoying; I could smell the obsessive patriotism coming from a mile away. Jagadish even gets to lecture her on how "un-Indian" she is while she complains in a way few NRIs really would.

** Om Jai Jagadish is the name of the three male leads, but it also refers to the opening line of certain Hindu devotional songs.

Pyaar Ke Side Effects

2009-02-18T21:50:00.001-08:00

Pyaar Ke Side Effects -- The Side Effects of Love

MAIN CAST
Rahul Bose -- Sid
Mallika Sherawat -- Trisha

BRIEF PLOT OVERVIEW:
PKSE is an upbeat, urban-centered romantic comedy featuring Sid, a club DJ, and Trisha, one of those "Delhi girls." Sid loves Trisha, but he's not sure if he's ready to take on "the side effects of love," especially when the subject of marriage comes up. Will he man up and marry Trisha? Or will the side effects outweigh the benefits?

FILM -- 4/5
Pyaar Ke Side Effects is short and sweet, just like any romantic comedy should be, so its script remains fresh and entertaining. The comedy is really hilarious and features a mixed bad of physical, slapstick, and banter-style humor; I laughed a lot during this film and had an almost constant smile on my face. This humor DOES rely on gender stereotypes a bit, but not enough to be truly annoying, and it's about par for the course as far as romantic comedies go. Also, this movie features a lot of sexual references, but nothing too extreme by Hollywood standards--Americans would probably rate it a PG-13. My biggest complaint about this film's production is the dubbing: sometimes, when the actors dubbed their voices back over, they were off by a few seconds, and it's really noticeable in a few scenes.

CHARACTERS -- 4.5/5
Mallika is a mediocre actress, and with the noteable exception of Dil Se's "Chaiyya Chaiyya"** I rarely find her anything beyond "cute" or "sassy" (her nostrils REALLY freak me out). Yet PKSE really works for her; it's not a very demanding role and it makes the best of her star presence, so she handles it really well. Rahul Bose is, as always, great. I knew he was an amazing actor, but this film shows that he is multi-talented and can branch out in the genres beyond drama. And at the risk of sounding super-shallow, he looks REALLY hot in this movie! The chemistry between Mallika and Rahul is wonderful, and I thought they were just the cutest couple. The supporting cast is first class as well. I really loved Ranvir Shorey's performance as Noona, Sid's less-than-tidy roommate and a poor excuse for a womanizer. I also liked that you got to see ladies with a variety of skintones, including the dusky Poov who shows up in the club at the very end. (India is a diverse nation, so when even the extras are all fair-skinned, I twitch a bit.) The only downside to the cast was Sophie Choudry, who looks good from the neck down but has an absolutely hideous, plasticine face and wears some of the worst outfits known to man. She should just stick to VJing.

SOUNDTRACK --3/5
The best part of the soundtrack is probably the background music. Because Sid is a DJ, you get to hear a lot of remixes comprised of pop music and film songs. I just about peed when I noticed a filmi song (for example, a club mix of "Sajna Ve" from Chameli is the song Sid and Noona play 15 times at Trisha's wedding). The dance mix he plays in the club after Trisha's birthday is especially catchy! "This is Love" immediately struck me as being a total rip-off of "My Way," and its lyrics are so-so, but it looks cute in-film. The item number is REALLY stupid and involves some very sexual rapping, so like most of this movie, it's not for the kiddies. "Feeling Blue" is super bubble-gum-poppy and was a bit much, considering the movie's older age demographic.

OVERALL -- 4/5
You don't watch movies like Pyaar Ke Side Effects because you want intellectual stimulation or a groundbreaking performance, you watch it because you want to be entertained, and that's just what Pyaar Ke Side Effects does. With the exception of Sophie Choudry's run-of-the-mill item number, I enjoyed this movie from start to finish; it made me laugh and it brought some freshness to the usual "straight-laced," "love-at-first-sight" Bollywood fare. Pyaar Ke Side Effects is definitely worth a rental, and its replay value will probably prompt you to buy a copy for keeps.

TOTAL SCORE -- 15.5/20 (great)

** Correction: Malaika Arora was in "Chaiyya Chaiyya." They look a good bit alike, so I boo-booed and thought it was the same Malaika. I apologize for the error, and thanks to my readers for pointing out my 2am stupidity!

Aap Mujhe Achche Lagne Lage

2009-02-07T21:28:00.001-08:00

Aap Mujhe Achche Lagne Lage -- I'm Starting to Like You

MAIN CAST:
Hrithik Roshan -- Rohit
Amisha Patel -- Sapna

BRIEF PLOT OVERVIEW:
Sapna is the sheltered daughter of an Indian criminal, a girl whose cage will be opened (according to her mother) when a "great prince" comes to take her away. Rohit is the obvious prince: handsome, good as gold, and a fluid dancer to boot! And like any good boy, he falls madly in love with Sapna after he spies her in the backseat of a car. Obviously, Baabul is not pleased with Sapna's choice in beaus, considering he's already formulated a match between her and his friend's son Rishhabh.

FILM -- .5/5
I should have smelt the TERRIBLE wafting off of this film in odious waves when they started striking dramatic chords less than a minute in to the movie, but I'm stubborn. I figured, "Hey, I sat through Barsaat, I can sit through anything!" Well, I forgot how painful Barsaat was, and how I'd promised I'd never put myself through that much pain again. AMALL is just plain bad, and not even entertainingly bad. I fastforwarded through a good 30 minutes of stereotypical bad masala stuff, like the obligatory "hero is a sports prodigy" character introduction scene and damn near all of the obligatory "OMFG we have no money in our budget because we spent it all on song picturizations in the Swiss alps" action scenes. I know it's redundant to pick on action scenes in a bad Bollywood movie, but they're SO godawful and make no sense to me. I mean, if you're going to put a hit on a fellow hitman, wouldn't you do the smart thing and kill him quickly and quietly, instead of holding this dangerous man around the neck, dangling him out your car window, and cruising around the city streets? What little plot line actually exists serves as nothing more than a foundation for melodramatic turn upon melodramatic turn. AMALL also features a lot of silly inconsistencies, like in the opening song, when a bunch of bullies are surprised by Rohit's huge posse of friends. If Rohit is so popular, how can it be that these bullies haven't heard of him? I dunno, maybe they just skip class a lot. The costuming is so candy-coated in some parts that it might give KJo's college movies a run for their money, and the choreography can be equally horrendous, though the energy the actors put in to it (::COUGH::hrithik::COUGH::) makes it bearable.

CHARACTERS -- 0/5
Can these actors actually act? I'm sure they can! But AMALL won't prove that to you. Everybody moves and talks like an Indian William Shatner, jerking their bodies around and speaking in jilted phrases as if they're being "intense." In reality, they're just being bad actors. Amisha Patel gets to do a little more than just jerk around. In fact, she gets to do a lot...a lot of crying, that is. She runs from scene to scene with her lip linered-to-death mouth, caterpillar eyebrows, and generally Michael Jackson-esque face all squished up in a constant grimace of pain. She looks nice on the DVD cover, though! Oh, wait...she's smiling, something she really doesn't get to do in the actual movie. No wonder I'm so confused! I actually ended up admiring Amisha's hard work by the end of this film, just because I figured all of that crying must've been exhausting. Hrithik Roshan makes a rather, erm, interesting first appearance in the movie, as we see him headbutt a soccer ball at three different angles. When that shot zoomed out, I instantly knew that Hrithik was cast as little more than eye candy. And he certainly is pretty, with his fresh face, lithe body, and graceful dance moves! Beyond that, however, Rohit is a bland character, and Hrithik obviously knew this from the start, because he instills absolutely no life in to the part. Their chemistry is middling, probably because the relationship as a whole strikes me as being uber-creepy. I'd keep going on about how bad the rest of the actors were, but chances are you're only considering watching this movie because Hrithik is in it, and beyond that, the supporting cast--as previously mentioned--does a really piss-poor job.

SOUNDTRACK -- 2.5/5
I'm ashamed to admit that I actually liked parts of this soundtrack. The first song, for example, is a guilty pleasure of mine, because while it's stupid as all Hell, it's got a really catchy beat, and I'm a sucker for Hrithik twitching his hips. Featuring some cool flutes, "O Re Gori" is very 90s (which is generally a plus when I say it), and I thought it was kind of catchy. I enjoyed "Hawao Ne Ye Kaha," which is apparently a very popular song, so I can't be too far off the mark. The background music is so corny and poorly mixed, it sounds like something a 5-year-old would bang out on her Casio keyboard.

OVERALL -- .5/5
I'm usually a sucker for melodramatic masalas with good-looking actors, fun music, and that charming feeling, but Aap Mujhe Achche Lagne Lage doesn't arouse, excite, or charm me in the slightest. It's just a heap of poorly executed violence, hyperactively picturized songs, choppy dialogue, and bile-inducing performances, and the only reason I give it a half a point overall is because it has a few cute scenes and a decent soundtrack. In fact, it took me a whole night to get through AMALL, because I had to keep mustering up the strength to sit down and watch more of it. Avoid this film at all costs, with two exceptions:
1. you love Hrithik Roshan to the point of obsession, or,
2. you want to commit suicide and need something so mind-numbingly bad it'll make your brain explode faster than a shotgun to the head.

TOTAL SCORE -- 3.5/20 (complete disaster)

Swades

2009-02-05T13:44:00.000-08:00

Swades -- Motherland

MAIN CAST:
Shahrukh Khan -- Mohan
Gayatri Joshi -- Gita
Kishori Balal -- Kaveri

BRIEF PLOT OVERVIEW:
Mohan is a wealthy NRI who works for NASA in the United States. When memories of his beloved nanny and "second mother," Kaveri, begin to tug at his heart strings, he returns to India in hopes of bringing her back to America with him. Then he becomes engrossed in the lives of the other villagers and their struggles, and slowly but surely, he finds himself torn between his life in America and his roots in India.

FILM -- 4.5/5
I originally watched Swades with a wealthy NRI I was dating, and both of us went in to the film with low expectations: me because SRK, for all that I love him, tends to ruin dramatic films when he is their emotional apex, him because he was so used to movies about rural India painting his homeland as a dirty, backwards nation with nothing good going for it. We were pleasantly surprised when Swades turned out to be well-written, well-filmed, and--best of all--very honest, with as many good things represented as there were bad. Swades is very, very, very slow and occassionally a bit choppy, however, so it's not the sort of movie you'd watch for kicks and giggles with a bunch of your friends (or your boyfriend--boo on me!). I was also a little disgruntled with the costuming; maybe I'm just being nitpicky, but how would someone with Gita's economic conditions be able to afford so many different outfits? Other than that, Swades is beautifully crafted, and many of the slice-of-life scenes made my ex-boyfriend misty-eyed with memories. The scene where the village crowds around a makeshift movie screen to watch a Bollywood film, for example, reminded him of Wednesday nights in his village, when people would crowd in to an old tent to watch what few Bollywood films their town council could afford.

CHARACTERS -- 5/5
Swades presents one of Shahrukh Khan's most believable performances. His character is a well-crafted one, a wealthy NRI Brahmin who is almost embarassed of his culture at first, then learns to love it, for all of its faults. SRK could've overracted and let his charisma carry the character, as he is wont to do, but he didn't; he really tried with this performance, and it shows. Gayatri Joshi isn't the absolute best actress, but I did like her, and she's very pretty. I adored Kishori Balal and her character, Kaveri. The supporting cast was generally great, with the exception of the Caucasian actors, whose stilted dialogue delivery REALLY annoyed me.

SOUNDTRACK -- 4.5/5
To be quite honest, I am not huge on Swades' soundtrack as a whole. I don't listen to most of the songs outside of the film, and I found some of them rather boring. Regardless, I have to rate it high for three reasons: it's unique and fresh among Bollywood soundtracks, it features a nice variety of songs, and the title song is absolutely GORGEOUS. With its poignant sense of longing for one's homeland, "Swades" (also called "Yeh Jo Des Hai Tera") is one of the loveliest songs I've ever heard; it brought me and my ex-boyfriend to tears. The soundtrack as a whole is good, though, and if I had to choose a second favorite, it would probably be "Yun Hi Chalal Chal," an upbeat song that continues the motif of the "wanderer" returning to his homeland. "Yeh Tara Woh Tara" is cute, and there's a deep message woven through it without making the song too heavy-handed, but I felt like it should've been a bit shorter. "Saanwariya" is pretty and sounds a lot like a pop song you'd hear on the radio. "Pal Pal Hai Bhaari" is a catchy, classically-styled tune that tells the tale of Ram and Sita. I didn't notice "Dekho Na," but I'm picky about love ballads, so my opinions are a bit biased. The background music is usually very fitting, although there are a few cheesey pieces played by a saxaphone that rubbed me the wrong way. In the end, this soundtrack--composed entirely by A.R. Rahman--is true to Rahman's form: it doesn't suck. Seriously, if A.R Rahman ever writes a soundtrack that is completely sucky, I will die from shock.

OVERALL -- 4/5
During my second viewing of Swades, I walked out of my dorm room and down the hall to the water fountain to fill up a plastic bottle with fresh, cold water. I'd left a little water in the bottle the night before, and I dumped it down the fountain's drain, deeming this water too warm and "plasticy" for drinking. In that moment, I realized I was ashamed of myself, but also proud: I was ashamed of myself for tossing out perfectly good water when so many other countries struggle for natural resources, but I was proud that my country's great wealth permitted me to be so flighty on occassion. This, I feel, is the true message of Swades: we must not blindly laud our heritage for its long-lived customs, nor should we condemn it for its faults, but rather, we should be constantly aware of our culture. As long as we are willing to keep our ancestry in our hearts, we can change with the times and accept new ways of living, not necessarily changing our culture to mimic another's, but rather, letting our culture adapt to the times. Swades' slow pace and generally serious subject manner ruin its replay value, but it is still a great film, and I highly recommend it to everyone.

TOTAL SCORE -- 18/20 (almost perfect)

A COUPLE OF SIDENOTES:
I mentioned the opinions of my Indian ex-boyfriend several times throughout this review because I found these opinons relevant. After all, isn't the hero of this story an NRI from a small town who found success in another country, just like my ex-boyfriend?

But he expressed a rather strong opinion when we finished watching this movie that I feel I should mention, just to be fair: "NRIs and non-Indians will probably love this movie, but I doubt people who actually live in rural India are going to care. Nobody wants to see a bunch of people in similarly poor conditions having their problems solved by an NRI, a figure most villagers will probably never see in their lives. It'd be annoying to watch this if I'd never left my village and still lived in poverty, because it almost seems like none of these marvelous things would've been possible without Mohan's intervention, and real-life villagers aren't going to get a Mohan."

I don't know if I necessarily agree or disagree with that opinion, but it is certainly something that made me think, and I felt it would only be proper to repost that opinion here. Swades certainly touched my heart and brought back fond memories for him, but I'm not sure how resident Indians would feel about this film.

Jhoom Barabar Jhoom

2009-02-02T20:56:00.001-08:00

Jhoom Barabar Jhoom -- Sway Baby Sway**

MAIN CAST:
Abhishek Bachchan -- Rikki
Preity Zinta -- Alvira
Bobby Deol -- Steve
Lara Dutta -- Anaida

BRIEF PLOT OVERVIEW:
When Alvira and Rikki meet by chance at the train station, it's hate at first sight. The two instantly start trying to one-up each other, and in typical Bollywood fashion, this leads to a variety of crazy twists.

FILM -- 3/5
I watched this film with a friend of mine, and after a mere 10 minutes, we were already positive that this movie was going to be completely crazy. Sure enough, the script is nothing but fluff, and half of what happens makes no sense or happens for no reason. You can spot every "twist" from a mile away. The pace is surprisingly steady, however, and in Jhoom Barabar Jhoom's defense, it's never boring, although it is occassionally very cringe-worthy and dorky. Some of the camera angles are absolutely horrible, and Bolly fans with epilepsy may want to avoid the dance sequences. The songs are definitely this movie's strong point, however, and I can honestly say that I loved the choreography. It's not always the most intuitive or the most flattering for the actors' bodies, but it's usually fun, funky, and energetic. For the most part I liked the costumes, but I have to dock a whole half a point for Bobby Deol's absolutely HORRENDOUS appearance in this movie. I don't find him attractive to begin with, but the orange curly mullet HAS to go! In short, Jhoom Barabar Jhoom boils down to, "Shallow story, mediocre direction, but oooo, let's dance with the beautiful people!"

CHARACTERS -- 2.5/5
I'm honestly wondering if Yash Raj plonked the cast down prior to filming and begged them all to overact. I usually find Abhishek Bachchan and Preity Zinta incredibly charming, but they didn't impress me at all during Jhoom Barabar Jhoom. Actually, they annoyed me more than anything. Abhishek's performance was nothing noteworthy, and Preity's dialogue is so forced, it often sounds like she's having the words punched out of her. Bobby Deol and Lara Dutta probably did the best out of the main cast, which is saying something, since I generally ignore Lara Dutta and hate Bobby Deol with a passion. These are the best performances of their careers--which isn't saying much, considering how wooden they are in their other films--and I was surprised by how much I loved Bobby's character in the second half. Nobody has any romantic chemistry, with the exception of Bobby Deol and Lara Dutta, who manage to muster up a bit of sweetness in the film's final scenes. With all of that being said, the main cast does seem to find some way to wriggle in to your heart; even when their acting sucks, their talent for physical comedy tends to make up for it. The best character, though, is Amitabh Bachchan, who plays a mysterious wandering minstrel. I don't know what it is about Big B that makes him so damn magnetic, even in his old age, but every time he popped up on screen, my friend and I squealed with joy! (The wacky outfit earned him a few bonus points, of course.)

SOUNDTRACK -- 4.5/5
Do I care about Jhoom Barabar Jhoom as a film? Eh, not really. Do I like the comedy in it? It's pretty hilarious, but if that were all this movie had going for it, I wouldn't pay much attention. So what is it that draws people to this movie like moths to a filmi flame? Why, it's the soundtrack, my dears! The absolute best song--and one of my favorite Bolly songs ever--is the title song, which goes through several reprises and remixes throughout the film, but is constantly entertaining. "Kiss of Love" and "Ticket to Hollywood" are really stupid, but they're also really fun, especially the guitar twang during the chorus of the former. I didn't think "Bo Nal Halke Halke" was anything special compared to other love ballads, but my friend loved it. The vocalists are especially impressive on this album; I thought my beloved Sukhwinder Singh's pipes were flunking out at me at first, but he really picks up when he gets to belt during the title song, and K.K almost manages to match the Greatest Singer In Modern Bollywood. (Wow, is my fangirl showing?) I'm normally annoyed with Bollywood soundtracks don't sound Indian at all beyond their Hindi language, but JBJ is a rare example of a hyper-modern soundtrack that I enjoyed because of its pop-rock beats. The lyrics are embarassingly bad, of course, so I had to dock half a point for that.

OVERALL -- 3.5/5
Jhoom Barabar Jhoom is loaded with glaring flaws, flaws that the body of this review can hardly cover, flaws that are so blatant that even the less-picky-than-I-am friend who watched the film with me could spot them from a mile away. And yet, for all of that overacting and ridiculousness and bad chemistry...we really enjoyed Jhoom Barabar Jhoom. We were amused by the first half, laughed hysterically throughout the second half, and absolutely adored the soundtrack (adored it so much, in fact, that we literally danced in our seats when the title song came on at the end of the film). JBJ is nothing but fluff, but in its defense, it really doesn't pretend to be anything else. It has pretty good replay value, especially if you already know what's going on and are willing to skip straight to the second half or to your favorite songs. If you enjoy crazy timepass flicks that are entertaining despite their faults, give Jhoom Barabar Jhoom a try.

TOTAL SCORE -- 13.5/20 (really good)

** I've heard jhoom translated as sway, dance, move, and so forth, and I've heard barabar translated as baby, darling, honey, and so on and so on. Regardless, you get the meaning.

Ek Chadar Maili Si

2009-01-29T17:25:00.000-08:00

Ek Chadar Maili Si -- Ordained by Fate**

MAIN CAST:
Hema Malini -- Rano
Rishi Kapoor -- Mangal
Poonam Dhillon -- Raji
Kulbhushan Kharbanda -- Triloka

BRIEF PLOT OVERVIEW:
Rano lives the life of many Indian peasants: she takes care of her children and her elderly in-laws, keeps the house clean, and cooks for her abusive drunkard of a husband and her immature brother-in-law. Things take a turn for the worst when a series of confusions leaves Triloka dead, and the widowed Rano does everything in her power to keep her family alive.

FILM -- 3.5/5
Don't let the almost middling score fool you: Ek Chadar Maili Si is very well-written and interesting. It features very natural-sounding dialogue that I found refreshing, and each scene makes the best of lighting, angles, and so forth to really connect you to the film. Melodrama is rare in this movie, which makes it much more believable than many of the social dramas that came out in the 80s. But Ek Chadar Maili Si has a few niggling issues. Namely, the pace is extremely slow, and there are very few songs in-between to pick things back up. The fight scenes are pretty awful, even by 80s standards; characters are beaten to a bloody pulp with nary a scratch on their faces until the very end of the fight, when they are suddenly covered in blood. Also, there are a couple of important plot points that I felt were never fully explained; for example, what happened to Lakshmi after she fell off of the cart? Did she die, or did she live? And what is the relationship between Mangal and Rano at the end? Are we supposed to "realize" that they fell in love, or is their affection for each other still of the brother/sister sort? Silly little things like that may not bother most people, but I found these unexplained occurrences rather aggitating.

CHARACTERS -- 5/5
Ek Chadar Maili Si is most famous for its performances, and there's a good reason for that. Hema Malini, often seen as little more than a "pretty face," proves she can act. You can't help but feel for Rano as she frantically worries about how she'll feed her family, and her big brown eyes really tug on your heart strings. Of course, I loved Rishi Kapoor; his character was well-written and well-played, and it was amazing to watch Mangal grow from an immature loafer to a mature man with many burdens. Triloka has a few more layers than most "drunken husband" characters, and I liked that Kharbanda brought some depth to a character that could have been entirely one-dimensional. Surprisingly, my absolute favorite member of the cast ended up being Poonam Dhillon. As is typical for me, I found the minor actress more beautiful and alluring than the big-name starlet; Raji is spunky, but alluringly beautiful as well. The chemistry between Dhillon and Kapoor is awesome, and they make a very cute couple, albeit a sickenly sweet one. Some may call the Raji/Mangal love story an unnecessary addition to the film, but I thought it added a bit of levity in the first half and showed how dramatically Triloka's death affected the family in the second half.

SOUNDTRACK -- 3.5/5
This isn't a soundtrack I'm going to listen to very often, but it's still cute. "Margi Margi" is cute enough, and the lyrics are really funny, but Hema doesn't even do much actual dancing in the film (although her facial expressions are really cute!). "Koi Sona," an upbeat love song between Mangal and Raji, is probably my favorite song from the soundtrack. "Iss Duniye Mein" and its numerous reprises didn't quite hit home with me, though they are beautiful in an absolutely melancholic way. The song that really hit my heart strings was the devotional song to the mother goddess at the end, which has some of the most passionate vocals I've ever heard.

OVERALL -- 4/5
It's important to realize that Ek Chadar Maili Si, for all of its progressiveness, isn't quite a feminist film for two major reasons. The first (and more praise-worthy) of these reasons is that Triloka's death affects not only Rano, but her family as a whole. Hence, the film is generallky focused on how the death of a patriarch changes everybody's life, rather than narrowly focused on how it changes his wife's life. The more unfortunate reason why I cannot call Ek Chadar Maili Si a feminist film is because it ultimately contradicts itself. Without ruining too much of the plot, I can honestly say that I felt betrayed by the film's ending. The same patriarchal practices that put Rano in to her unhappy marriage in the first place are lauded when they are applied to her daughter Guddi. This movie may argue that women can be strong, but it certainly doesn't argue that their position as property to be bought and sold is unfortunate. Nevertheless, Ek Chadar Maili Si is a strong film with a good soundtrack and absolutely wonderful performances. I recommend at least renting it, especially if you want to see some of Hema Malini's best acting.

TOTAL SCORE -- 16/20 (great)

** I've seen several translations of this title, and I know "chadar" refers to the marriage ceremony in the film, but this was the simplest translation I could find.

Apologies.

2009-01-28T14:36:00.000-08:00

My apologies for the lack of updates. I have a ton of movies to watch and review, but with the exception of my Korean class, I have all upper-division courses this semester, as well as 20 hours of work every week, so I have very little time. I've barely had time to burn the movies I'm supposed to be sending several people, and in that case, I can't get the f'ing things to burn with subtitles still attached, so I'm resorting to flattening everything to a poor-quality AVI and burning it as a data disc instead of a playable DVD. I've also had a lot of personal issues, including a friend of mine who passed away and a huge fight with my sister. (2009 isn't starting out well for me, is it?)

Today I had to walk down stairs covered in 3 inches of ice at 8am and be doused in freezing rain to get to work, only to leave work after half an hour because I'm sick as a dog. Sort-of-thankfully, the university cancelled night classes tonight, although I'm pissed off that everything prior to 5pm wasn't cancelled. As one of my bosses put it, "The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse could be riding through campus and they wouldn't cancel classes." (I don't see why; they've already got my money, so what's the big deal? Why risk getting sued because somebody breaks their neck on your ice-covered sidewalks, or drowns in your flooded roads?)

But I digress. The point is, I'm still alive, I just haven't had much time to review things. A friend of mine was nice enough to send me some stuff with Rekha and Big B and Tabu, three of my favorites, as well as some older movies with Hema Malini. Hopefully I can watch one without falling asleep in the middle of it and get the review up before the weekend, since I've been in bed all day.

Hameshaa

2009-01-15T20:20:00.001-08:00

Hameshaa -- Eternity

MAIN CAST
Saif Ali Khan -- Raja/Raju
Kajol -- Rani/Ramesha
Aditya Pancholi -- Yash

BRIEF PLOT OVERVIEW
Raja and Yash swear that they will be best friends forever. Then they fall for the same girl, a beautiful college student named Rani. Enflamed by jealousy, Yash lets Raja fall to his death, and a distraught Rani jumps down after him, swearing that Yash will never have her and she and Raja will always be together. When Rani is reincarnated 22 years later, Yash does everything in his power to overcome destiny.

FILM -- 1.5/5
Alas, Hameshaa, you could have been such an interesting film! Your premise is interesting enough, even if reincarnation stories are as popular in India as body-switching plots are in America, but your mediocre script really kills it for me. Honestly, it's hard for me to relate to a hero when his dialogue makes him sound like a crazed stalker, and the heroine is written so blandly that her only active form of resistance is to kill herself*. They probably should've removed large chunks of the script as well, specifically the last half hour, which is completely unnecessary and just drags the film on. With the exception of a few of Kajol's outfits, the costuming is as bad as Saif Ali Khan's haircut. The choreography is equally horrendous; it tends to be very jerky and jumpy, and for some crazy reason, Saif Ali Khan and Kajol pull on each other's hair a lot. Maybe it's because they can't believe they're in such an awful movie and they want to wake each other up from this nightmare...? In Hameshaa's defense, its picture quality is unusually crisp and bright for a 90s film, although its sound quality can't quite match up.

CHARACTERS -- 1.5/5
Saif Ali Khan has definitely improved with age. I like him in newer movies like Thoda Pyar Thoda Magic, but his high-pitched, nasal voice really grated on me in Hameshaa, and he isn't physically attractive in any way, shape, or form here. What's worse, his performance is really hokey, and I couldn't connect to Raja/Raju at all. Kajol's performance also feels very phoned-in and somewhat stiff, although like Shahrukh Khan, Kajol has enough charisma that she can glide through a bad performance without being too cringe-inducing. Aditya Pancholi probably does the best with what he's given. Yash is as 2-dimensional as Raja and Rani--he does typical bad guy things like scream at his servants, throw innocent people in front of trains, rub used handkerchieves all over his face like a dirty pervert, and so on and so on--but Aditya's expressive face adds some depth to the character's actions. The supporting cast is so-so.

SOUNDTRACK -- 1.5/5
Hameshaa's soundtrack is barely worth mentioning. One of the things that really gets me about this soundtrack, even more than the terrible mixing job, is the lackluster quality of the vocals. How could Anu Malik write such garbage, and how could Udit Narayan lower himself to sing it?! There's a whole lot of track blending, not so much because all of the songs sound the same, but because the songs are all very bad and/or very boring. The singular exception to this rule is the classically-styled tune Ramesha dances to right after the intermission, which features gorgeous costumes and some fluid moves by the luminous Kajol.

OVERALL -- 2/5
If it weren't for the fact that Hameshaa was one of the first Bollywood films I ever saw, I probably wouldn't care to own a copy. It's not that Hameshaa is so bad you should write it off your list completely and dub it "garbage," but it isn't something I'd waste my free time on if I had little free time to spare**. Many Bollywood films have unrealistic elements to them that are only excusable because of their charm, like the reunion scene in Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge, but Hameshaa makes the critical error of depending entirely on Bollywood magic with no such charm to back it up. I can't even recommend buying a cheap copy of this film, so stick with a rental if you really feel the need to see it.

TOTAL SCORE -- 6.5/20 (bad)

* Don't even try to point out Ramesha's little anti-engagement speech and first meeting with Raju, because she faints like a damsel in distress shortly after that meeting, and her escape from Yash's palace also causes the death of many people. It is ridiculously typical of masala films to make heroines swoon at large bursts of emotions, and it's equally typical for a woman to be the cause the deaths of innocent people. If a male character does the same things, he rarely causes as much of a frenzy in his wake. Yes, I know I always complain about people not accepting cultural differences, but this isn't just a cultural difference, it's an affront to well-written female characters everywhere.

** Technically I don't have a lot of free time, but I don't have class or work on Thursdays, and the weather is so bad right now that there's really nothing for me to do except stay inside. And a girl's gotta take a break from doing her homework every once in a while!

Raja Hindustani

2009-01-08T21:35:00.000-08:00

Raja Hindustani -- King of India (also the main character's name)

MAIN CAST:
Aamir Khan -- Raja
Karisma Kapoor -- Aarti

BRIEF PLOT OVERVIEW:
An updated version of Phool Khile, Raja Hindustani tells the tale of the titular character, a cab driver, who falls in love with the wealthy Aarti. As can be expected, their love is littered with a variety of problems, and the couple must persevere through everything from a wicked stepmother to major class differences.

FILM -- 2.5/5
Instead of trying to draw you in with a catchy opening sequence, Raja Hindustani opens with 4 minutes of credits, displayed in plain red text over dreary grey backgrounds. Fastfoward to the opening scene, and the real film finally begins...unfortunately, as Aarti and her father sing to each other in extremely off-key voices. Couldn't they have used playback singers for that?! Another downside that is immediately apparent: like many 90s flicks, Raja Hindustani was obviously filmed on a low budget, and the sound and video quality are smudgy and uneven. The costumes are unusually nice, though, with very few eyesores and a lot of character-suited pieces. The script is somewhere in-between in that it really is standard masala fair. The fight scenes are absolutely RIDICULOUS. (If Deewaar had such good fight scenes in the 70s, why couldn't 90s Bollywood films manage to have decent fight scenes?!) There's also a slightly aggrivating scene where a bunch of men sleeze on Aarti while she wears a sexy dress, and the implication is that wearing said dress means she deserves that sort of attention. Again, this is an aspect of Indian culture that you don't have to agree with (and I don't), but it's still something you should try to understand. And I promise: Raja's quick R.E.S.P.E.C.T speech after the aforementioned fight makes up for it a bit, and also shows us that the fight was initiated more out of his character's tempermental personality than out of "cultural decency."

CHARACTERS -- 2.5/5
Karisma, like so many masala heroines before her, plays the wholesome girl who wants to please her family and follow her dreams at the same time. She'll never win any awards for best actress in my book, she constantly makes little "hmm" noises that make her sound like she's experiencing post-coital bliss, and her laugh borders on the edge of "harpy's shriek," but I'm really starting to love her charisma and her fluid dancing. And her legs. Can somebody point me to a movie where Aamir Khan has sucked? Because so far, I've seen the man make gold out of some of the most "could-be-awful" characters EVER! Even though the characters in this movie are typical masala fodder that rarely manage to interest you, I really believed it when Raja fell madly in lust with Aarti the second he saw her. (I say lust because he only focuses on her facial features at first. The love part comes later, I assure you!) It's a testament to Aamir's ability to craft interesting and well-developed characters just with his body language. The Aamir/Karisma chemistry isn't my absolute favorite, but it isn't the worst I've seen, either; they look comfortable with each other and themselves**. Johnny Lever appears as a rather stereotypical (but still moderately funny) Sikh taxi driver, and the pair who play Aarti's bodyguards help add to the slapstick nature of the film. Farida Jalal makes an appearance, so brownie points to the casting director!

SOUNDTRACK -- 5/5
Raja Hindustani is best remembered for its soundtrack, and there's a reason for that: Udit Narayan. I usually whine when he sings for anybody other than Shahrukh Khan, since the two are linked in my mind, but I've been known to make an exception for Aamir Khan. "Aaye Ho Meri Zindagi Mein" opens up the soundtrack with an unique beat to it, but while Udit's voice is as clear and melodious as ever, he takes a lot of gasping breaths throughout the track, which I found slightly disconcerting. "Kitna Pyara" makes up for it with its powerful, clean vocals and cute lyrics. "Pardesi Pardesi" sticks out with its twangy sitar melody and pseudo-drunk singing (I mean that in the nicest way possible), and one of the two item girls reminds me of Madhubala***. It also has several equally beautiful refrains. "Puchho Jaara Puchho" is sexy, even with its synthesized 80s-ish background beat, and it's one of my favorite songs on the soundtrack. The picturization on "Kyaa Raat Aayee Hai" is sometimes stupid, sometimes silly, but the song itself makes the best of its salsa beat. There's a tiny bit of track-blending, but if you listen to the soundtrack more than once, you'll easily be able to pick the songs out.

OVERALL -- 2.5/5
Raja Hindustani is very masala: it has slapstick comedy, melodrama, archetypical heroes who sing like nightengales and heroines who wake up with all of their make-up on, Johnny Lever, a first half that is much better than the second half, and a good soundtrack that the movie as a whole tends to lean on like a crutch. Yet there's some charm secreted away in this film's depths, a unique flavor that kept me watching even when certain aspects of the script really agitated me. Like Duplicate, its a movie you have to relax in to and just enjoy for what it is, and like Aashiqui, it's a soundtrack-driven romance that blissfully meanders with no real meaning for long periods of time. Take that for what you will, but I did enjoy 3/4 of Raja Hindustani, and I know I'll watch it once in a while in the future.

TOTAL SCORE -- 12.5/20 (okay)

** This movie also features the infamous Aamir/Karisma kiss-on-the-mouth. There's no tongue, but it's a deep kiss that goes on for more than 10 seconds. Ooo, scandalous!

*** If memory serves me, the tattooed woman's name is Kalpana, and she was in a lot of movies in the 90s as a dancer. Sort of the "Helen Queen of the Naach Girls" of the 90s! I recently edited this note to add that the item girl who reminds me of Madhubala is apparently named Pratibha Sinha--thanks, Ajnabi!

Reviews in Review: 2008

2009-01-04T10:16:00.001-08:00

Perfect / A+ : 5 films
Deewaar
Pinjar
Rangeela
Duplicate
Chandni Bar

Almost Perfect / A- : 6 films
Jodhaa Akbar
Bunty Aur Babli
Nayak: the Real Hero
Cheeni Kum
Dil Se
Chameli

Great / B+ : 9 films
Tere Naam
Thoda Pyar Thoda Magic
Ankur
Main Hoon Na
Kabhi Khushi Kabhie Gham
Dil To Pagal Hai
Asoka
Maqbool
Jab We Met

Really Good / B : 9 films
Water
My Brother...Nikhil
Chak De! India
Dhokha
Virasat
Sarkar
Josh
Aashiqui
Zubeidaa

Okay / B- : 5 films
Devdas
Dil Hai Tumhara
Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam
Baabul
Don: the Chase Begins Again

Medicore / C+ : 3 films
Main Prem Ki Diwani Hoon
Umrao Jaan
Hum Aapke Dil Mein Rehte Hain

Bad / C- : 4 films
Andaz
Raju Ban Gaya Gentleman
Dhaai Akshar Prem Ke
Filhaal...

Very Bad / D : 1 film
Kaal

Complete Disaster / F : 1 film
Barsaat

RWR (Reviewed Without Rating): 1 film
Bandit Queen

Yes Boss

2008-12-21T21:28:00.000-08:00

Yes Boss

MAIN CAST
Shahrukh Khan -- Rahul
Juhi Chawla -- Seema
Aditya Pancholi -- Siddharth

BRIEF PLOT OVERVIEW:
Rahul has a very special job: he helps his boss, Siddharth, find beautiful women to cheat on his wife with, then breaks up with them when Siddharth gets bored. In typical Bollywood style, Siddharth ends up catching the eye of Seema, Rahul's beloved, which complicates matters for poor Rahul.

FILM -- 4.5/5
This is a 90s masala flick, so it wouldn't be right without some melodrama. I mean, you can smell the oncoming melodrama from an hour's pace when the doctor tells Rahul that his mother "cannot stress or face any trauma." And yet the melodrama level in Yes Boss is pretty low, and the film still manages to charm you with quirky dances, giggle-worthy scenes, and witty dialogue. Want to see SRK in a bath tub with another man? It's here! Want to see Juhi Chawla punch SRK in the face? It's here! Want to see Johnny Lever being slightly less obnoxious than usual? IT'S HERE! It's refreshing that, unlike the majority of Bollywood films, Yes Boss focuses on two middle class characters*, and its doubly refreshing that the women we see Siddharth chasing after are not anorexic waifs with unrealistic body proportions, but are actually healthy women with earthily pretty looks. I thought my brother was going to mock my taste in women when Juhi Chawla walked down the runway and her stomach jiggled a bit, but instead he yelled at my sister (who is about the same size as Chawla) for calling Juhi "fat" and said that American movies could learn a thing or two from India when it comes to physical beauty!** The choreography can be a bit silly, but it's also very fresh and fun. Lastly, please be prepared to deal with a lot of Indian morals being thrown at you, like Seema refusing to wear a 2-piece bathing suit because it is "lewd." It may seem ludicrous to us, but this sort of stuff is very common in South Asian and Middle Eastern films, and it's a cultural aspect you just have to get used to.

CHARACTERS -- 5/5
Shahrukh Khan*** and Juhi Chawla are very young and very sweet in Yes Boss. If you've been wanting to get in to the Juhi/Shahrukh jodi, but can't handle the slapstick nature of Duplicate or the awfulness that is Raju Ban Gaya Gentleman, Yes Boss is here to save the day! Their chemistry is innocent, pure, and full of cotton candy and unicorns and teddy bears and other harmless things. Johnny Lever makes an appearance, as he is wont to do in 90s masalas, and he's actually okay. He doesn't make me laugh like he did in Kuch Kuch Hota Hai, but he doesn't annoy me the way he did in Hum Aapke Dil Mein Rehte Hain. (It helps that he's only on-screen for a few minutes.) Aditya Pancholi plays the smooth-talking Siddarth well, and Ashok Saraf is adorable as Rahul's fumbling best friend Johnny. The supporting cast is pretty good and includes Reema Lagoo in her typical role as the doting mauji, as well as the super-sexy Kashmira Shah as Siddharth's wife.

SOUNDTRACK -- 4/5
The big thing that annoyed me about Yes Boss' soundtrack is the excessive use of synthesizers. Yes, that's common in 90s soundtracks, and it usually doesn't bother me, but some of the songs so obviously use samba beats ripped off of Casio keyboards that it actually makes my brain twitch with rage. That being said, this is a very cute--if very 90s--soundtrack that I found surprisingly enjoyable. "Ek Din Aap" does nothing for me, mostly because of the aforementioned Casio beats, although the picturization over Shahrukh Khan and Juhi Chawla, resplendent in white, is quite pretty. "Chaand Taare" is a spunky song about Rahul's dreams of success. "Suniye To" is probably my favorite song from this soundtrack; it has a catchy beat and SRK running around in a variety of silly costumes. "Choodi Baji Hai" uses the "chun" onomonopeia of bangles to create a fun love song that stands apart from the standard masala fare. The picturization and lyrics ARE the standard fare, however, with Juhi Chawla and Shahrukh Khan prancing around in the mountains while their outfits magically change and they sing about the stars. Still, I enjoyed it! I hated "Main Koi Aisa Geet," with its synthesized dulcimer, the first time I heard it, but it really grows on you after a few plays. Personally, I think it's more "sweet" than "romantic," and it makes me think of a lullaby I'd sing to my kids ("The many scents that are in a garden, I shall bring them all to you!"). Last, but not least, "Jaata Hai Too Kahaan" is an addictive party song that rounds out the soundtrack perfectly. The vocals are unusually breathy on this soundtrack, which I have to admit lost Yes Boss' music a half point.

OVERALL -- 4.5/5
Yes Boss is like an American 80s movie: its music uses synthesizers, its actresses have big hair and wear "excess-style" clothes, it doesn't care much about technical prowess or incredible performances, and it really doesn't try to have a purpose beyond making you feel good. That sounds like an insult, but guess what? I friggin' LOVE American 80s movies! I watched them with my dad while I was growing up, and even though most people would say they're "awful," I love them and the warm, fluffy feeling they leave me with. This is the same sort of movie. If you're in to sweet, feel-good romantic masalas that really are charming and interesting, like Rangeela or Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge (not like the steaming pile of shit that is Raju Ban Gaya Gentleman), or even if you just want something your kids will enjoy, too, then Yes Boss is a great choice.

TOTAL SCORE -- 18/20 (almost perfect)

* While NRIs and non-wealthy characters did become more popular in Bollywood during the 90s, it was still the "rule of thumb" that at least one character be upper-class from the start. DDLJ is a good example of this: Simran's family is middle class and is depicted as being perfectly normal, but Raj's family is wealthy from the get-go, and the implication is that the two will marry and share this wealth. The middle class was acknowledged, but it wasn't given as much importance or as much respect as the upper class--ie, it was okay to be middle class as long as you married someone who was wealthy--which is why Yes Boss' focus on the middle class is unusual. According to some of my Indian friends, this bias towards wealth is slowly fading out of Bollywood films as India develops and its urban middle class grows and gains prominence and power. This can be contrasted to American films, which have generally focused on middle-class people and white collar professionals for decades, but are slowly starting to craft more interesting characters from the upper and impoverished classes.

** My brother is single and very cute. Any of you ladies wanna date him? ;)

*** Something I just noticed: it looks like SRK has a couple of quarter-sized scars running up his left arm. I noticed them during the "faux-sex scene" at the hotel, specifically at about 1 hour : 36 minutes : 30 seconds on my Moserbaer copy of the film. Am I just seeing things, or does SRK have scars on his arm? If he does, what from? (I'd screencap it, but my laptop doesn't have a DVD program that can screencap, and my dad is currently repairing my desktop computer.) EDIT: the folks at Bollywhat have cleared this up--they're vaccination scars.

Jodhaa Akbar

2008-12-20T11:49:00.000-08:00

Jodhaa Akbar

MAIN CAST:
Aishwarya Rai -- Jodhaa
Hrithik Roshan -- Emperor Akbar

BRIEF PLOT OVERVIEW:
Mughal Emperor Akbar agrees to marry Jodhaa, a Rajput princess, merely as a political move. As the two come to know each other, however, they slowly start to fall in love.

FILM -- 4.5/5
Maybe I'm just a wuss for a gorgeous high-def movie, but I really love how Jodhaa Akbar is put together. The script is surprisingly well-written, with absolutely beautiful dialogue that sounds like poetry as it slips from the characters' mouths. The costumes and sets are obviously very lavish, but unlike Devdas' decadent style, Jodhaa Akbar's brocade-laden landscape really works and doesn't make you feel like an outsider. Combined with the careful use of slow-moving cameras, these period-accurate costumes and sets actually made me feel like I belonged in Jodhaa's world, perhaps as a handmaiden watching the action unfold. There's no real dancing to speak of, but Aishwarya Rai and Hrithik Roshan display their trademark grace in several swordfighting scenes. Also, major kudos to the special effects department for the great battle scenes! I do have several minor complaints, however, and the first one is a common one: this movie is REALLY long. It took me 3 nights just to finish my first viewing! But Jodhaa Akbar IS an epic, and with the exception of about 5 minutes of fluff, I felt like every scene was necessary, so I'm not too bothered by that. Also, the UTV version of the film uses white subtitles that aren't outlined in black, so at times, it's hard to read them.

CHARACTERS -- 5/5
Ladies and gentlemen, hold on to your hats: I think Aishwarya Rai did a great job in this movie. Yes, yes, I know I complain all the time about her being more of a visual centerpiece than an actress who can never convince me that she's the character, but I really loved her as Jodhaa! Rai is at her best as the quiet but proud Rajput princess who, while not an explosive character, is certainly a dynamic one. (I was actually pretty annoyed by how much of a wuss Jodhaa was when Sojumal was about to be arrested and she didn't run after him, but then I realized she was probably shocked and confused by what was going on.) Her voice is soft, her spirit is loud. Rai's make-up is also very plain and natural, and I loved that--this is the most beautiful I've ever seen her. And who better to play the husband of the most beautiful woman in India than the most beautiful man in India? That's right, it's the one and only Hrithik Roshan! His mustache mars his youthful prettiness, but only a bit, and his "Emperor voice" sounded really tacked-on and fake at times, but I grew to believe it. Like Aishwarya Rai as Jodhaa, Hrithik is at his best so far as Akbar. He looks gorgeous doing it, too; I'm not ashamed to admit that I got a bit hot in the panties when Akbar was practicing his swordfighting shirtless. Hrithik/Aishwarya is also one of my absolute favorite jodis (and the only jodi I think Aishwarya really looks comfortable in), and the chemistry between the two is incredible. There were several points where I honestly wouldn't have been surprised if they just started ripping each other's clothes off! The supporting cast is absolutely HUGE, so I won't go in to major detail. I will say that every actor and actress represents their character marvelously, with a special nod towards Sonu Sood, who looks like a young Amitabh Bachchan and plays Sojumal with ease.

SOUNDTRACK -- 4/5
Jodhaa Akbar's soundtrack isn't the best I've ever heard, but it's still pretty damn good. Like Devdas' soundtrack, these songs really add to the epic feel of the film. My favorite is "Azeem-O-Shaan Shahenshah," which is used on the DVD menus and on a lot of the trailers as well. There's a reason why, folks, and it's because that song is frippin' AWESOME and really fits the expansive, dramatic nature of the film. "Khwaja Mere Khwaja" is absolutely gorgeous in its simplicity, although I still think it should have been a minute or two shorter. "Jashn-E-Bahaara" and "In Lamhon Ke Daaman Mein" are also lovely, but I usually only listen to them as background music. The lyrics are interesting in that they are very simple, yet surprisingly moving and effective.

OVERALL -- 4.5/5
Jodhaa Akbar is not the kind of movie you watch in one sitting on a Friday night while you hang out with your buddies. It's long, even by epic standards, and the characters develop at an almost agonizingly slow pace. Yet this is what makes Jodhaa Akbar so effective as a character-driven romance tale. This movie doesn't rush you through things, it lets you connect to the characters and immerse yourself in the grandiose storyline. The length ruins the film's replay value a bit, but I still think Jodhaa Akbar is a beautiful and unique film that I will watch often, and I fully appreciate its value as an epic romance. It at least deserves a viewing for the career highlight performances by Hrithik Roshan and Aishwarya Rai, as well as the gorgeous period costumes they wear.

TOTAL SCORE -- 18/20 (almost perfect)

Water

2008-12-18T15:43:00.000-08:00

Water

Main Cast:
Sarala Kariyawasam -- Chuyia
Seema Biswas -- Shakuntala
Lisa Ray -- Kaylani
John Abraham -- Narayan

Brief Plot Overview:
"Do you remember getting married?" asks an elderly man. "No," responds a little girl. Yet alas, this little girl--7-year-old Chuyia--was married, and now her husband is dead, making her one of the lowliest creatures in Hinduism: a widow. Forced to wear the marks of a widow for the rest of her life, Chuyia is sent a temple where widows live in abject poverty.

FILM -- 3.5/5
Maybe it's my parents' new HD TV and Blu-ray player that's making the difference, but I really thought Water was beautifully filmed. Deepa Mehta knows how to use colors to create emotional landscapes, and the use of whites and blues and soft, layered fabrics really adds to the "water" feeling. The film uses a mixture of long shots and close-ups to help you garner a feel for the charactes and the world they live in. The characters are also fleshed out by well-written dialogue. Yet I take issue with the script as a whole. It is often uneven, it can be a little confusing, and it seems to keep the story running slow while the character themselves are catapulted through a variety of emotional developments. This adversely effects Water's overall emotional power, and while I felt horrible for the situation of these poor widows, it wasn't because of the movie. Honestly, simply telling me about the situation would have produced just as much emotion.

CHARACTERS -- 4.5/5
Water marks the best performance I have ever seen by John Abraham. His acting is admirable and he looks as good as ever, although his interactions with the lovely (but somewhat dull) Lisa Ray seem rather stiff, and I found the chemistry between the two lacking. A lot of people loved Lisa Ray in this movie, but I thought she looked...well, dull. There was no real fire in her eyes, and she seemed half-dead throughout most of her performance. Sarala Kariyawasam, the little girl who plays Chuyia, is one of the best child actresses I've ever seen. And who can forget Seema Biswas, who has a knack for creating the most intense and complex female characters with a single glance? I may have hated Bandit Queen, but she was incredible as Phoolan Devi, and she is the true star of Water. The supporting cast is also excellent and includes Manorama as a villainous "house leader" turned pimp named Madu and the multi-talented Raghubir Yadav as Madhu's hijra assistant.

SOUNDTRACK -- 4/5
Water has a lovely, if slightly repetitive, primarily instrumental soundtrack. What few lyrical songs are there are sung with passion and skill, and Sukhwinder Singh even pops in for a tune early on in the film! I was pleasantly surprised to see that Sukhwinder Singh wrote a lot of the lovely Hindi lyrics.

OVERALL -- 2.5/5
Just as a romantic masala film must have a lot of charm to stand out, a social drama must have a lot of power. It isn't something you can describe in terms of technical mastery or acting prowess; it's an unexplainable emotion that wells up in you as you watch a film and connect with it on a deeper level. Unforunately, Water doesn't really seem to have that power. It's not because the film isn't "super-shocking," because films with less graphic detail like Pinjar AND films with more graphic detail like Dil Se both manage to gain responses beyond shock. (My post on Bandit Queen further explains how I feel about films that use shock to gain an emotional response from the audience.) The truth of the matter is that, while Water is an important film and a technically good one with great performances, it doesn't really move you beyond the surface level. It also suffers from some choppy editing and pacing issues, although a less nitpicky viewer probably wouldn't even notice. Because it is socially relevant, I feel like everybody should give Water a viewing, but if you want to see a Deepa Mehta film that does move you, try Fire instead.

TOTAL SCORE -- 14.5/20 (really good)

Kaal

2008-12-14T20:39:00.001-08:00

Kaal -- Doom

MAIN CAST:
John Abraham -- Krish
Esha Deol -- Riya
Ajay Devgan -- Kali
Lara Dutta -- Ishika
Vivek Oberoi -- Dev

BRIEF PLOT OVERVIEW:
Bratty Dev is driving through the woods with his girlfriend Ishika and a few of his friends when he hits a black cat. The superstitious Ishika insists that this is a bad omen, but Dev firmly disagrees, even when his brand new car breaks down in the middle of nowhere. An unusual man named Bagga offers to take the kids to a wildlife reserve called Orbit, and Dev's friend Sajid insists they go for an "adventure." The kids' open disrespect for nature and the laws of the jungle* stands in stark contrast to the reverence naturalist Krish and his wife Riya have for the jungle. The two groups eventually meet up and, with the help of a mysterious guide named Kali, try to escape from the dangerous jungle.

FILM -- 1.5/5
Do me a favor, Soham, and get out of the business. You cannot direct for crap, and your writing skills aren't much better. Alright, so Kaal had a few good parts to it, and there were some scenes that were tense and made me jump a little bit. But most of that was due to lighting, special effects, and music...basically, nothing that has to do with your script or your obsession with filming random scenes in slow motion. And since you're in charge, why don't you take the choreographer off to the same remote island you're heading towards? This is one of the few movies I can honestly say features some of the worst choreography I have ever seen, and I am easily impressed when it comes to dancing. The dancers really put their hearts and souls in to it, which helps some, but not much. Taal still probably wins in terms of ridiculous product placement, but replace that "T" with a "K," and you get the film with the second most blatant product placement. All that aside, Kaal does have its bright moments. The background music and (admittedly very blue) lighting are, as previously mentioned, adequate throughout most of the film, and I give mad props to the costumers and make-up arists who helped make the stars pleasing to my lustful eyes. Okay, wearing leather vests in the jungle isn't practical, but Esha Deol knows how to rock them! The scenery is pretty, too, and you get to see a lot of really gorgeous wildlife. The special effects are okay, but thanks to the poor editing and some bad camera angles, the tigers we see from afar is obviously real, and the tigers we see in close proximity to the actors obviously have glass eyes.

CHARACTERS -- 1/5
Characterization? Who needs characterization when you've got actors running around half-naked as often as possible? John Abraham set himself up for an "insta-fail" in my book when he agreed to roll around with a gigantic snake in some hay (shirtless, of course,) while he panted and wheezed like the rubber monstrosity was actually putting up a fight. I don't get why people say Esha Deol is awful, because she's much more attractive and a better actress than her half-brothers, but the same rules apply to her that apply to John Abraham. Running after a huge snake in a crop top, miniskirt and ugg boots, your hair and make-up done up to perfection, earns you an insta-fail. Lara Dutta is pretty, but a bit on the wooden side. And to be quite honest, I don't get the appeal of Vivek Oberoi. He's not attractive or charismatic, and his acting is as bad as Zayed Khan's, but without the latter's potential for improvement. The only real performance in this movie comes from Ajay Devgan, who I will never find physically appealing, but will always love as an actor. The man can play just about any hero, villain, or character part with an incredible amount of ease, and his interpretation of Kali is one of the few things that kept me interested in this movie. In typical horror film style, the supporting cast was picked with little consideration as to how well they'd mesh in the film, and they're all pretty bland and stiff. Shahrukh Khan and Malaika Arora appear in the titular item number, and my total comment is: if you don't find those two sexy right now, watch their gleaming, leather-clad figures in Kaal and see if it changes your mind. The choreography may suck, but their soaking wet bodies don't.

SOUNDTRACK -- 2/5
The title song opens up the film with pounds of gold pleather and leopard print, and while I know club scenes are generally eye-rollingly ridiculous, I have to admit that I secretly love this song. The steady beat and thumping Latino rhythms compliment the blatant T & A in "Kaal," although I don't think the vocalists quite match the actors they were picturized on. (Then again, I tend to get annoyed when Udit Narayan sings for anyone other than Shahrukh Khan, so that's not really an objective opinion.) A lot of the background music is really incredible and tends to utilize primal beats and drums. I especially love the music that plays during Kali's entrance.

OVERALL -- 1/5
I went in to Kaal with low expectations, and after the opening song, my expectations dropped even lower. Like most modern horror movies from the west, Kaal wants to be all about the adrenaline, which comes from two main sources: fear and sexual desires. American horror writers have acknowledged that that is why sex scenes often appear in horror films. (Have you ever noticed that smokers in smoking-allowed theaters always take out a cigarette after a particularly gruesome death?) Unfortunately, Kaal fails to match up. We all know the amount of naked flesh being shown is completely gratuitous, but the film makers didn't even TRY to disguise it when some sort of plot element, and beyond a few scenes that made me jump with surprise, I wasn't scared at all. Maybe survival horror games have spoiled me with their ability to freak me out psychologically for days on end, but brief moments of shock aren't enough for me to label a horror film "scary." If you want some Indian T&A, or you're an SRK fan like me and just want to watch his leather-clad arse in the unrelated opening scene, buy or rent a cheap copy of Kaal. Otherwise, give this flick a pass.

TOTAL SCORE -- 5.5/20 (very bad)

* I totally just flashed to the Jungle Book, which I've read a thousand times.

Netflix

2008-12-14T20:34:00.000-08:00

My parents got a new TV.

It allows you to download Netflix movies on to it.

This prompted my father to get Netflix.

You have been warned.

Devdas

2008-12-13T11:24:00.000-08:00

Devdas

MAIN CAST:
Shahrukh Khan -- Devdas
Aishwarya Rai -- Paro
Madhuri Dixit -- Chandramukhi

BRIEF PLOT OVERVIEW:
A modern retelling of the popular Bengali novel. For information on the original novel and the various film adaptations, please check the Wikipedia page: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Devdas

FILM -- 3/5
While I openly admit that Devdas' source material is melodramatic and slightly ridiculous, I still think the screenwriters took it a bit too far in this adaptation. Sometimes the characters' over-the-top antics manage to wring an emotional response from you, but for the most part, it feels like it's trying too hard. There are some truly beautiful pieces of dialogue, however, like when Devdas asks Chandramukhi if she loves him and she breathlessly responds, "You could ask me if I breath." The sets and costumes are so unrealistic and over-the-top that I actually found myself enjoying them, if only because it felt like I was watching a fantasy painting spring to life. For the most part it works for this film, since you never feel directly connected to the characters or their world, but there are times where you feel suffocated by all of the silk and gold. The choreography is intricate and beautiful, full of quick hand motions and sweeping steps that can only be described as "effortlessly elegant." There are a lot of really gorgeous lighting effects and camera angles, like the scene where Devdas first gets to see Paro's face in the moonlight. On the negative side, Devdas is a long film and it feels like it; it moves so slowly that you'll probably find yourself wondering, "Okay, when is this movie actually OVER?" a few times during its duration. There are some obvious continuity errors as well, like when Devdas soaks himself and his white shirt with brown wine, then walks out of Chandramukhi's room in an almost completely clean shirt. You'd think they'd catch stuff like that! Oh, and the DVD menus are really hideous, at least for the Eros copy of the film.

CHARACTERS -- 2/5
Devdas' star-studded cast does well enough with the melodramatic script they're given. Shahrukh Khan's Devdas is pretty much how I imagined the character: an immature little boy stuck in the body of a grown man. It isn't his best performance, nor is it the best interpretation of the chafacter, but SRK's trademark charisma helps him skate along beautifully. Bhansali builds up to the first showing of Aishwarya's face, so by the time you finally see her gorgeous green eyes and full lips, you're more than ready to have your breath taken away. Really, the woman is just gorgeous. Again, this is a performance that is adequate. She talks in a breathy voice and constantly sighs, "Ish!" which would annoy me normally, but Ash is so damn pretty that I ended up finding it kind of cute. The Aishwarya/Shahrukh chemistry was decent; it's definitely not a jodi to end all jodis, but it works. Of course, the Madhuri/Shahrukh jodi is amazing but underused. The supporting cast is good, and you get some interesting character contrasts, namely from the surprisingly evil Kumud (played by the cute-but-sassy Ananya Khare) and Paro's light-hearted mother, Sumitra (portrayed effortlessly by Kirron Kher). Kher deserves a few extra kudos for dancing with the energy of a woman half her age and making Sumitra one of my favorite characters in the film. Also, at the risk of sounding very shallow, I want to see more of Jaya Bhattacharya, who played Manorama; she was SO LOVELY! Now, you're probably wondering, "If the cast did good, why the low score? You've rated worse casts much higher!" Well, here's my qualm: with the exception of Madhuri Dixit, who gives the best performance I've ever seen from her (and looks good doing it), and perhaps Jackie Shroff, who is SUPPOSED to be boisterous, everybody is REALLY over-the-top, even by Bollywood standards. I honestly felt like I should have been sitting in an audience while the actors performed on stage 100 feet away, they projected so much! And when you take performances that should be seen on stage and put them on to a screen, it just feels like a bunch of caricatures, running around in gorgeous costumes and singing pretty songs. It's my only qualm with the cast and characters, but it's a huge one.

SOUNDTRACK -- 4.5/5
If there's one place where Devdas excels, it's the soundtrack department. The music is epic, just like you'd expect it to be, and the picturizations that accompany it in-film are absolutely stunning. I've watched and listened to "Dhola Re" so many times that, if I had enough dancing skill, I could probably perform it in my living room. I didn't like "Silsila Yeh Chahat Ka" the first time I heard it, but now I think it's really catchy. Aishwarya's dance with the lamp is neat! "Kaahe Chede Mohe" and "Mar Dala" sound sensual and include two equally intoxicating mujra performances by the incomparable Madhuri Dixit. The on-screen sexual tension between Aishwarya and Shahrukh is palpable during "More Piya," and the song is still hot when you play it on your iPod. "Chalak Chalak" has a catchy beat, and it's really fun.

OVERALL -- 2/5
Like the recent adaptation of The Producers starring Matthew Broderick and Nathan Lane, this adaptation of Devdas should have been shown on-stage. The actors project way too much, the colors and sets are too extravagent, and the overall feeling I get is that this melodramatic movie would have been better if I'd seen it in a traditional theater setting, right where it belongs. That's not to say I didn't enjoy Devdas, because I did, but this is not a movie that makes you feel connected to the story or the actors. The loud performances, fantastical sets and lush songs are beautiful, but they make you feel like you're watching a fairy tale world that you can never touch. I won't watch this movie very often, to be honest, unless I'm in the mood for its music or want to screencap pretty pictures from it. Still, if the lack of replay value and the 4 hours of "fairy tale-ish-ness" don't bother you, give Devdas a shot. Even if you don't like it for the pretty timepass that it is, you'll at least enjoy the songs.

TOTAL SCORE -- 11.5/20 (okay)

My Brother...Nikhil

2008-12-08T19:21:00.001-08:00

My Brother...Nikhil

MAIN CAST

Sanjay Suri -- Nikhil
Juhi Chawla -- Anu
Victor Banerjee -- Navin
Lillete Dubey -- Anita

BRIEF PLOT OVERVIEW
Nikhil Kapoor is a talented young swimmer with his whole life ahead of him until he contracts AIDS via blood transfusions. His family tells his story after his death.

FILM -- 3.5/5
My Brother...Nikhil is far from perfect, but it's still well-made. The treatment the sick Nikhil receives at the hands of the locals and the way AIDS is perceived in India is, almost unfortunately, portrayed with an unflinching honesty that I found refreshing, if a little depressing. The story has a steady pace, and it didn't have any of the usual "drag" that haunts Bollywood films. The dialogue is often truly horrible, however, and turns the serious subject manner in to something absolutely ridiculous. I honestly felt bad for the actors at some points. I was also a little annoyed that Nigel and Nikhil's relationship was not allowed to have any physicallity to it; the most they do is touch each other's shoulders, whereas Anu and Sam get to have actual physical contact, like holding hands. I wasn't expecting a full-blown sex scene, I just would've liked a little more realism. On the plus side, the camera work is generally well done. There are no melodramatic FLASH-FLASH-FLASH cuts, and with a few minor exceptions, the editing is very good. The scene where Nigel returns home, only to find that his house has been defaced, is especially well-directed. The ending will make you cry buckets.

CHARACTERS -- 3.5/5
I'd heard odes to the performances in this film, so maybe I was setting myself up for failure. Honestly, I think a lot of the performances in this movie are overrated. They're not BAD, per se, but there are parts where even Juhi Chawla seems very soap opera-ish. It doesn't hurt that the characters themselves are 2-dimensional stock characters: the doting mother, the father who still thinks he went wrong parenting his son, the understanding sister...so on and so on. Juhi is beautiful, though, and she's certainly aging well. Sanjay Suri, who plalys the title characters, was the highlight of the cast. Nikhil fits him like a glove, and it's obvious that Sanjay was not afraid to play such a bold role. Purab Kohli plays his sweet but otherwise uncharacterized boyfriend Nigel. Otherwise, the cast and the characters they portray are wholely unremarkable. I wasn't interested in them at all.

SOUNDTRACK -- N/A: points added to "overall"

OVERALL -- 6.5/10
My Brother...Nikhil takes on a difficult subject with a decent script and talented actors doing their best to make the generally bland characters and sometimes melodramatic dialogue work, and in the end, it could be considered a success. But part of me is very troubled by this movie's final message. I know that what they meant to portray was that AIDS is not a gay disease, and maybe they meant to show how people perceive it as one. But I couldn't shake off the feeling that the film makers were nervous about making a heterosexual character contract AIDs. Honestly, what was the point of making Nikhil gay in the first place? Did they have to make him gay, if the point is that people would be prejiduced against him regardless of his sexual orientation? It's a good movie with its heart in the right place, but for some odd reason--perhaps a personal bias, since I have friends with AIDS--I was not entirely convinced by this film. It's worth a watch for something unique and ballsy, but I'm still holding out for something as inspiring as Philadelphia.

TOTAL SCORE -- 14/20 (really good)

Chak De India

2008-11-30T18:54:00.001-08:00

Chak De! India -- Let's go, India!

MAIN CAST:

Shahrukh Khan -- Kabir

Shilpa Shukla -- Bindia

Vidya Malvade -- Vidya

Sagarika Ghatke -- Preeti

Chitrashi Rawat -- Komal

There's actually no nuclear main cast here, so if you want a list of all of the "Chak De girls" (as they are affectionately known), check out this film's Wikipedia page: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chak_De_India#Cast:_Chak_De_Girls

BRIEF PLOT OVERVIEW:

Kabir Khan, an Indian hockey player, misses a crucial shot at the end of an India vs. Pakistan game. The country is convinced Kabir threw the game on purpose (it is implied that they think this way because Kabir is a Muslim), so Kabir leaves his home and hides for 7 years in shame. When he emerges, it's not as a hockey player, but as the coach of India's national hockey team for women.

FILM -- 4/5

Chak De! India is a feel-good sports film that knows what it is and doesn't push the limits too much. There are a few melodramatic speeches, but nothing cringe-worthy, and a lot of them focus on the film's underlying messages: team spirit, nationalism, and feminism. The sports scenes are very well shot; I never felt like I was getting motion sickness, which is a common issue I have with sports-related films. The costuming is simple but effective. The dialogue is good and provides insights in to most of the characters, although unless you get the DVD and check out the bonus scenes, you'll learn more about some of the girls than others. There are other parts where the script throws almost too much fluff and sentimentalism at you, so by the end of a scene you feel like you're being suffocated by the unrealistic sweetness. The film drags a good bit and could have been edited much better, replacing unnecessary scenes with more interesting ones. Chak De! India also features some absolutely obnoxious plot holes. Where did Kabir go for 7 years? Why DID he come back? (I get the whole "glory of the country" angle, but it wasn't explained very well.) Was there really a need to have Kabir's mother in the film, other than to blatantly tear at our heart-strings? And why didn't the film makers put Sukhwinder Singh's incredible pipes to better use?!

CHARACTERS -- 4/5

Can Shahrukh Khan just do films like this for the rest of his career? I'm not talking about films where he plays a Muslim and therefore gets to have a beard (although he looked mouth-wateringly hot with it), I'm talking about films where he's not the axis that the whole movie rotates on. Don't get me wrong, I love SRK, but sometimes I think it's better when he doesn't carry the movie's entire emotional premise. He just isn't a good enough actor to handle it. Instead, Shahrukh Khan takes the back seat and guides the young female actresses, and it really works. And since I've mentioned the young female actresses: they're all very, very good! I wish I had time to write about all of them, but I'll just name a few who stood out to me. The first one who comes to mind is Shilpa Shukla, who reminds me of Shabana Azmi--very intense eyes. She also reminds me of Shabana-ji a little in the face, albeit a much sharper, more angular Shabana. Chitrashi Rawat had a lot of spunk and stole the show a lot; I have no clue how old she actually is, but she looks very young until she actually starts acting. Then she stands out as a mature woman. I also love Tanya Abrol and her character, the quick-tempered Balbir, to absolute bits and pieces.

SOUNDTRACK -- 2/5

Don't misunderstand me. Chak De! India does not have the Soundtrack from Hell. But it does have the shortest soundtrack ever. The one track that truly stands out in my mind is the title song, which is sung by the oh-so-passionate Sukhwinder Singh. Seriously, can that man just marry me? His voice is A-MA-ZING! I also liked "Maula Mere" and its poetic, melancholic lyrics. "Badal Pe Paon Hain," however, is an obnoxious pile of suck that sounds like it's trying to be a young female vocalist's version of "Chak De! India," but fails miserably. I also didn't take much notice of the background music. It's not BAD, I just didn't pay attention to it, since the film makers didn't pay much attention to it. That's why Chak De! India's soundtrack gets such a low score: there's great vocal talent, and there could've been some more awesome songs, but instead they took the easy route out and made the soundtrack way too short.

OVERALL --3.5/5

I enjoyed Chak De! India, but it's definitely overhyped. Yes, it has a great young cast, Shahrukh Khan plays his part with uncharacteristic restraint, and the title song is made of awesome. But that doesn't excuse a lot of the issues I have with this film, like how long and tedious it can be and the sometimes too fluffy nature of the script. Still, Chak De! India excels in its field as a great feel-good film about sports with much-appreciated light touches on some heavier messages. It has some replay value, and I'd definitely recommend it. If you can spare the cash, buy the DVD with the deleted scenes so you can connect with the "less important" girls.

TOTAL SCORE -- 13.5/20 (really good)

Annoyed with BollyWHAT.

2008-11-22T14:07:00.001-08:00

Kragey,

Mods and admins have conferred on the topic you posted asking members to write essays in exchange for free DVDs.

While this is a generous offer on your part and a fun thing to do, I do not feel comfortable with you using the forum to host contests without first running it by me. You do not own or run this site. But by choosing to use the forum to host a contest with prizes without first asking us, you

1) inadvertently implicated those who own and run this site in your contest;
2) inherently implied our participation insofar as the presence of the contest on this site suggested that we condoned the terms of the contest;
3) made us liable for the terms of your offer.

If you would like to host a contest, you can do so on your own site, or, alternatively, you can contact us first and explain the terms, and we will consider whether this is something we'd like the forum to host.

I have deleted the topic.

Now, I understand completely why the topic was deleted. I'm not so much angry about that (although I do think I should have been contacted first so I could have copied over the information from the previous contest). What I'm angry about is the absolutely condescending tone of these messages.

I am not a dumbass. I am well-aware that I do not "own or run this site," and anyone with half a brain knows that I am not in any way directly affiliated with the site. I do not have shiny orange stars or a moderator tag, and I did not say that the offer was being hosted by BollyWHAT. I said that the items were coming out of my money and that I would handle the entire process, and that's the truth. The reason I posted it on BollyWHAT is because that's where a lot of Bollywood fans are, and I wanted actual participation.

I did not directly contact the owners because I didn't think it would be a big deal, since I'm handling the situation, and because I figured they would not have time to respond properly. But mostly, it was because I didn't think it was a big deal. I still don't.

Every time I have received a message from a BollyWHAT moderator, the tone has been very stuck-up and rude, and I always feel like a scolded child. I'm all for bluntness--I strongly encourage it, even--but as my boss once told me, there is a way to talk simply without talking rudely. I honestly do not think any of the management at BollyWHAT knows this, and they feel like they can snap at their members without said members getting aggitated. Yes, it's harder to get your tone across over the internet, but speaking as someone whose job includes telling PhDs they cannot do things and has yet to offend one, I can attest to the fact that its possible.

I am strongly considering leaving BollyWHAT, because I am really sick of the snootiness of the management. It's a great forum and it's well-moderated, but I cannot tolerate rudeness, and I do not like being treated like an idiot. It's not like the forum will fall apart without me, but I wanted to make my reasons known to my friends at the forum if I disappear, and I don't want to cause a scene at the actual forum.

I would like to the note that this is not an attack on the moderators as people so much as it is an attack on the moderators as professionals. I'm sure they're wonderful people, but as moderators, they're far too rude and lofty for my tastes. Also, a moderator was kind enough to send me some of the information from the thread after I specifically requested for it. I am not trying to influence anybody's opinions, just explain mine.

Andaz

2008-11-18T16:21:00.000-08:00

Andaz -- Style

MAIN CAST
Anil Kapoor -- Ajay
Juhi Chawla -- Saraswati
Karisma Kapoor -- Jaya

BRIEF PLOT OVERVIEW
Ajay is a new teacher at his alma mater, where the students pick on him horribly. Then the top student, Jaya, lends Ajay her book; unbeknownst to them, someone has stuck a love-letter in the book. Ajay thinks Jaya gave it to him on purpose, and when he returns the letter, Jaya thinks Ajay is trying to woo her! And then there are some terrorists. I think. I don't know, really, because this movie makes zero sense to me, and I've yet to find a decent synopsis of it.

FILM -- 1/5
I almost keeled over when I realized that this movie came out in 1994. It looks so outdated: the clothing is from the 80s, the quality of the sound and video is smeary and cruddy, and the script is prototypical yesteryear masala fair. The title may mean "style," but it's completely off the mark! There are a couple of cute moments, but the script as a whole meanders and is bland at best. I could give a fig less about the overdone action scenes, so every time Anil Kapoor went in to "ridiculous ass-kicker mode," I wandered off to make dinner or finish some more homework. I actually ended up ignoring the last 30 minutes of Andaz, since it's basically a long, ridiculous action scene. Some of the choreography is cute...or at least, I want to say it's cute because it includes Juhi Chawla bouncing back and forth, or Karisma Kapoor shaking her hips, or Anil Kapoor acting like a total nerd. Andaz's ending comes out of NOWHERE. An important character dies, "the end" pops up on a picture of Anil Kapoor and Juhi Chawla dancing, and there's absolutely no emotional resolution. It worked for Chandni Bar and fit with that film's tone, but in Andaz, the sudden halt is just poor writing. Have I mentioned the sheer horror that is Andaz's wardrobe yet? Oh, I have? Sorry, I just can't get over it.

CHARACTERS -- 1.5/5
The actors ham it up like you wouldn't believe, so if you're looking for some realistic, super-powerful acting, you'd better look elsewhere. These are stock masala characters with little of the usual charm. Anil Kapoor is a "stern but cool" teacher with a really awful haircut. He wants an arranged marriage, which doesn't bother me, but the "I want it to save an orphan, but said orphan must be so amazing and perfect" manifesto really rubs me the wrong way. Karisma Kapoor is half as hot as usual, thanks to some poorly groomed eyebrows and an endless parade of horrible costumes. Still, I kind of liked her with Anil Kapoor, even though she was a creepy bitch at first. I should feel really dirty about that, since Karisma is supposed to be a young girl and Anil is her teacher, but they were cute together. Jaya could have been a very interesting character with a really interesting relationship with Ajay, but the film-makers took the easy way out and turned her in to a total wuss in the second half of the film. Juhi Chawla is absolutely stunning, but she's also the stereotypical, goody two-shoes, traditional Hindu orphan girl, which bored the crap out of me. I hate, hate, HATE the supporting cast, mostly because they constantly make this obnoxious "aaooo!" sound. What are they, a bunch of dogs?!

SOUNDTRACK -- 3/5
The soundtrack sounds really old, the lyrics are godawful, and the picturizations are corny as all Hell, but I have to admit that I like this soundtrack. The first song, "Adat Buri Yeh," comes out of nowhere and is like an Indian version of Grease, compressed in to a single song. "Laila Bechari" is surprisingly awesome, with great vocals, decent lyrics concerning Romeo and Juliet, and a catchy melody. "Dil Ka Panchi" is the stupidest song...and it's also my favorite. You have to love it, if only because Anil Kapoor and Karisma Kapoor make chicken noises. "Dhakka Lagga" and "Khada Hal Khada" have unusually sexual lyrics about driving a train with a hot engine and opening up a door while you're up; if the picturizations weren't so goofy, I'd feel a little embarassed. But it takes the fact that Saraswati and Ajay have a rockin' sex life and makes it adorable. "Lelo Lelo" is a typical masala ballad, and the equally unnoteworthy background music is very cheesey and overdone.

OVERALL -- 2/5
It's a bad sign when I have to scrounge to find a picture to post with my reviews, but I should've walked away from Andaz when I ended up screencapping it so its review wouldn't look naked, then had to Photoshop said screencaps so the colors weren't so washed out. I want to love Andaz, but...outside of the student-teacher-orphan love triangle, I had no clue what was going on. It's just a huge piece of cliche fluff with a terrorist plot attached to it. I still have a deep-seated fondness for it, as I am a huge Anil Kapoor fan, get a kick out of tacky costumes, and find Karisma Kapoor and Juhi Chawla charming, but my warm feelings towards Andaz stop there. Andaz would have been better if it had stayed a simple love story with cute songs, but instead they threw in some stupid terrorist plot and a bunch of anti-feminist ramblings. The only reason I watch this movie is because I really like the cast and some of the songs, so if you aren't an Anil Kapoor fan and you don't like 90s music, take a pass on Andaz.

TOTAL SCORE -- 7.5/20 (bad)

Deewaar

2008-11-13T20:50:00.000-08:00

Deewaar -- The Wall

MAIN CAST

Nirupa Roy -- Mother

Amitabh Bachchan -- Vijay
Shashi Kapoor -- Ravi

BRIEF PLOT OVERVIEW
Anandbabu is a laborer and orator who leads the common folk against the tyrrany of a wealthy businessman. Anandbabu leads the workers on strike, so the businessman retaliates by kidnapping Anand's beloved wife, Sumitra, and their two songs, Vijay and Ravi. Anand is forced to sign a contract that strips the workers of even more of their rights, and he eventually leaves the village, haunted by shame. His seemingly selfish actions also effect the lives of his family, and the words, "My father is a thief," are forcibly tattooed on the young Vijay's arm. Sumitra takes her sons away from the village and raises them the best she can with her meager earnings. Ravi goes to school while Vijay works odd jobs, and the two eventually grow up and follow completely different paths, though they are both motivated by their mother's love.

FILM -- 5/5

This is a 70s film, so I won't whine too much about the clothes (except for that awful white bowtie Amitabh wears when he meets Anita, UGH!), nor will I bitch about how bad the lip-syncing is. Instead, I'll rave about the script: OOOO, THE DIALOGUE! It's tough to write long monologues without making them tacky and melodramatic, and while Deewaar does include a slight bit of melodrama, it never detracts from the power of the writing. There's a lot of symbolism in Deewaar that is perfectly framed; one of my favorite images is that of Sumitra standing at a fork in the road as her two sons walk away from her in different directions. Another thing that really surprised me about Deewaar is the fighting. Most Bollywood movies have really cheesey, obviously fake action scenes, even in more modern cinema, but this is not the case in Deewaar. I was beyond impressed with Vijay's first fight with Peter and his goons; unlike most Bollywood heroes, Vijay does not perform physically impossible martial arts moves, nor does he bend steel with his bare hands or escape completely unscathed. He ducks, runs, kicks, and punches in a way that any healthy young man could, and he actually--gasp!--gets beat up himself. Maybe it's a sign of how unrealistic action scenes tend to be, but I was beside myself when Vijay was visibly winded after the fight. Major kudos go out to Yash Chopra and team for these realistic fight scenes!

CHARACTERS -- 5/5

With a cast like this, you know great acting is a given, but I have to rave anyway. This was my introduction to Shashi Kapoor; his slightly-nasal tenor voice was really off-putting at first, but I fell in love with him in a New York minute. His Ravi is sweet, darling, and more than little naive, yet he is also a very believable character. Ravi may not be as complex as Vijay, but he is just as engaging. Speaking of Vijay: holy freaking crap, Amitabh Bachchan is incredible in this movie! If Deewaar is the film that made me take note of Shashi Kapoor, it's also the film that reignited my love for Big B. His Vijay is just as smart as Ravi, but more towards craftiness than bookishness; just as handsome, but with deep, brooding eyes rather than bright, sparkling ones; just as devoted to his mother, though their means of reaching out to her are different. If Shashi Kapoor is the lawful good paladin who fights against all odds piety and perserverence, Amitabh Bachchan is the true neutral rogue who sidesteps those odds to reach the same end**. In short, they are a dream team. Ravi's relationship with Vira is as pure and innocent as he is, and Vijay's love affair with Anita is really earthy and honest. I was especially fond of Parveen Babi; she's "chubby" by modern American standards, and she proves that you don't have to be a stick figure to be sexy^^. And Nirupa Roy...oh, Nirupa Roy! Such an outwardly reserved performance, but she's oh so powerful! I loved her. Normally I'd dissect the supporting cast, but let's be honest: the core cast is so damn incredible and engrossing that the supporting cast could be composed entirely of rabies-infected monkeys, and I wouldn't bat an eyelash.

SOUNDTRACK -- 5/5

What Deewaar's soundtrack lacks in excellence, it more than makes up for in sheer fun. I'd write a review of it, but honestly? Who cares! Technically, these songs shouldn't even be in the film; they were only included at executives' insistence that a Bollywood film without music wouldn't sell. I like the songs, but the movie could function without them, and that's fine by me. And have I mentioned the cast? Who cares what the songs sound like when they're coming out of the mouths of such great actors?!

OVERALL -- 5/5

"I'm going to hate this movie," I sighed to myself as I popped the DVD in to my disc drive. "It's just too overrated. There's no way this movie can be as good as everybody says it is." Oh, but it IS. I can't think of enough words to describe it, but for starters, "incredible," "timeless," "masterpiece," and "holy freaking SHIT awesome" come to mind. Deewaar reminds me of The Godfather in that it is obviously old, but never outdated. It's available for less than $5 from half a dozen websites, and if you watch it as much as I do, it'll earn that $5 back in a matter of days. Unless you absolutely cannot stand the cosmetic flaws 70s films suffer as a result of low budgets (you shallow creature, you), you have have have have have to see Deewaar. It is that amazing.

TOTAL SCORE -- 20/20 (perfect)

A COUPLE OF SIDENOTES:

Do NOT buy the Eros version of this film. My copy of Deewaar was distributed by Eros, and it was absolute garbage. The packaging is super-flimsy and makes it almost impossible to remove or replace the actual DVD. The quality is not optimized, so the sound is much more shrill than it is on nicer copies. It wouldn't even play on my DVD player--it made my DVD player make AWFUL noises--so I had to play it on my computer. Then, about halfway through the film (right after the intermission), the film "cut in half." It acted like it was two separate titles, and I couldn't get any English subtitles on the film. Thankfully, YouTube pulled through and I was able to write this review. I'll be buying a brand new copy of Deewaar that ISN'T distributed by Eros ASAP, and I suggest you do the same.

Also, I swore I would never do this, but I have to: a wee bit of picspam.

"My father is a thief."

I effin' love this scene.

This is probably just the Big B fangirl in me coming out.

Woooo! Best song on the soundtrack!

** I used to be a Dungeon Master. You may verbally abuse me for my dorky, sordid past now.

^^ I probably don't have a right to say this, as I'm really petite, but what the Hell ever, I loved it.

Main Prem Ki Diwani Hoon

2008-11-11T19:52:00.000-08:00

Main Prem Ki Diwani Hoon -- I'm Crazy About Prem**

MAIN CAST

Kareena Kapoor -- Sanjana

Hrithik Roshan -- Prem

Pankaj Kapur -- Sanjana's father

Himani Shivpuri -- Sanjana's mother

BRIEF PLOT OVERVIEW

Sanjana is a total daddy's girl who refuses to settle for an arranged marriage, but goes through a change of heart when she meets Prem, her polar opposite in every way. Unfortunately, Prem isn't quite what he seems, and things go haywire when his boss--who is just like Sanjana in every way--comes for a visit.

FILM -- 2/5

This script is...it's just...it's all so...vapid. It's stupid and cliche, and not in a way that is funny or charming. Every scene drips with melodrama, every character is an archetype, every costume looks like a rejected outfit from Karan Johar's personal closet. And yet, it works (kind of). I'd be lying if I didn't say I enjoyed parts of this movie, even as I cringed through most of it. For example, how Sanjana SUDDENLY falls madly in love with the hyper-active, immature Prem. What?! The choreography is ridiculous, and it's not like they picked very good dancers. Kareena Kapoor? Come on, we all know how wooden she is when she tries to do anything more complicated than shaking her hips and waving her hands! The exception to this is "Bani Bani Prem Diwani Bani," and while Kareena won't win any dancer's awards, she's unusually fluid during that song. There's some really annoying zoom-in-zoom-out camera work and a lot of bad angles; I don't find the top of Kareena's head nearly as interesting as her face. The cartoon parrot is cute, but the dog with the cartoon head is just too much. Actually, the special effects in general are just too much, and I hate all of the martial arts moves that are obviously performed on wires, especially when Prem saves Sanjana's flying father. No, I'm not making this stuff up.

CHARACTERS -- 1.5/5

Sometimes Kareena Kapoor looks very pretty, but there are other parts where she's wearing so much make-up that she looks like a drag queen. This is how I like to remember her, though; she's a healthy size in this film. None of that size 0 crap she's trying to pull nowadays! Unfortunately, this roll isn't very demanding on her part, so if you want to see a good Bebo performance, I'd recommend Chameli or Asoka over MPKDH any day. The same goes for Hrithik Roshan. Granted, he totally set me up for his "roadrunner on crack" performance when he stuck his head out of the airplane and darted those pretty green eyes around like he'd just pulled off a schoolboy prank, but I was still disappointed. I've come to worship Hrithik as a dancer and respect him as an actor, and MPKDH won't show you why. His character is just plain annoying. He's still pretty to look at, though, and his chemistry with Kareena only sucks half of the time. Abhishek Bachchan doesn't have a lot to do, but he looks rather dashing in a western business suit, and the way his cool demeanor melts in to a shy one when he's around Sanjana is adorable. The supporting cast is generally obnoxious, including some obnoxious super-snotty friends to accompany Sanjana and the psuedo-humorous Johnny Lever. I'd also like to mention the cartoon parrot that shows up in this film. Yes, it's ridiculous, but am I the only person who watched Mary Poppins and Bedknobs and Broomsticks and didn't mind real-life characters mixing with cartoons? I dunno, I thought it was sort of cute, but maybe I'm just easily amused. A few bonus points for MPKDH: Reema Lagoo plays Prem's mom!

SOUNDTRACK -- 3/5

Considering most movies from the past decade only have 5 or 6 songs, Main Prem Ki Diwani Hoon's 10 tracks are a delightful surprise. The lyrics on this soundtrack make me want to punch Anu Malik (how could you?!), but parts of it are still memorable. "Papa Ki Pari" is cute at first, but it gets obnoxious after the "it's our life" line comes in. If you're not a total daddy's girl like me and/or you can't stand bubblegum pop at all, you'd best skip this song. I loved "Bhatki Panchi," though, mostly because Chitra's voice is perfect for Kareena. K.K naturally has a young-sounding voice, but his vocals on "Ladka Yeh Kehta Hai" make him sound like he's going through puberty again. It's an okay song otherwise. "Chali Aayee Chali Aayee" sounds like it has MID, as the vocals--layered over a sensual, thumping rhythm and a bell-twinkling bridge--rapidly switch from cute and childish to blatantly sexual. The in-film picturization is so stupid that I just skip past it. Both versions of "Oh Ajnabi" are surprisingly pretty on and off screen...er, at least, until you hit the ridiculous scene in the shower about a minute in to the "happy version." Then it goes in to the realm of totally fake scenery and supposed-to-be-hot grappling between the two leads. I'm not a Kareena fan by any means, but she's resplendent in a red lehgna choli in "Bani Bani Prem Diwani Bani;" the song is a masterful mix of traditional and modern music, and I really like it. "Aur Mohabbit Hai" is a typical masala love ballad, and the last two songs--"Kasam Se" and "Sanjana, I Love You"--are truly forgettable.

OVERALL -- 2.5/5

When westerners spoof Bollywood films, Main Prem Ki Diwani Hoon is the kind of stuff they come up with. This movie is R I D I C U L O U S. It's a big pile of melodrama, craziness, overacting, and insane plot twists, best represented by the scene where a twitching Hrithik Roshan receives a face full of confetti from a cartoon parrot. But I'll be honest: it's a guilty pleasure for me. It's so insane that I can't help but love it, and I have no trouble watching it from start to finish, provided nobody else is around to mock me for my bad taste in movies. It's so cartoony that it makes the child in me come out to play and sends my adult brain packing for three hours. Some people will watch it a lot for the sheer silliness, others will barely make it through their first viewing. Don't watch it if you expect a well-written movie that everybody will love, look elsewhere, but if you like pointless masala insanity with a side of melodrama, give Main Prem Ki Diwani Hoon a try...in private.

TOTAL SCORE -- 9/20 (mediocre)

** "Prem" is also a word for "love."

Tere Naam

2008-11-09T12:13:00.000-08:00

Tere Naam -- In Your Name

MAIN CAST:
Salman Khan -- Radhe
Bhumika Chawla -- Nirjara

BASIC PLOT OVERVIEW:
Irreverant rabble-rouser and thug-with-a-heart-of-gold Radhe meets his match when he falls in love with Nirjara, the innocent daughter of a priest. Unfortunately, this is not a sweet love story, and the tale takes a turn for the worst when Radhe suffers brain damage after a gang attack. He is eventually sent to an asylum for religion-based therapy.

FILM -- 4/5
There is so much hate for this movie at the BollyWHAT forum, I was sure it was going to suck...but it was actually a pretty good movie. The script is really good, with 3-dimensional characters and an outwardly simple--but emotionally complex--plot. Even the minor characters are given palpable personalities via well-written dialogue and great performances by the cast. The choreography is pretty cheesey, but the actors put their hearts and souls in to it, so it's still fun. One of the biggest highlights of this film is the camera work and lighting, especially in the second half of the film. It reminds me of surrealist art, with its intense color contrasts and dark, twisted imagery. (Please note that I am rather eccentric and enjoy dark, morbid things. If that's not your style, you'll probably be freaked out by it.) I have a major complaint, too: the sound effects are obnoxious to the nth degree. Somebody gets so much as a shove, and there's a huge slapping sound layered over it. It made me cringe every time I heard it. Also, there's a bit of slack in the pacing here and there, but I never stopped enjoying the film. Even if you don't like this movie, you have to admit that the posters and promotional images are eye-catching and disturbingly beautiful.

CHARACTERS -- 5/5
Even if you hate violence and morbid, twisted tales, Tere Naam is worth it for the great characters and equally incredible acting. This is probably my favorite Salman Khan performance, and he adds a lot of layers to Radhe, some that are inexplicably charming, others that are utterly repulsive. Bhumika Chawla is beautiful, and even though Nirjara is a quiet and unassuming character, Bhumika brings a lot of life to her. Bhumika and Salman have incredible chemistry; it's like they are constantly communicating with each other with only their eyes. None of their interactions feel fake to me. I love this jodi and I want to see it again! Sachin Khadekar and Savita Prabhune, who play Radhe's brother and sister-in-law, have unique and realistic relationships with Radhe. I really loved their performances! The supporting cast is also good. Sarfaraz Khan, who plays Radhe's best friend Aslam, is easily one of the best parts of the movie, and the beautiful Mahima Chaudhary makes a special appearance.

SOUNDTRACK -- 3/5
I was pleasantly surprised by Tere Naam's soundtrack, thanks again to my low expectations. Nirjara sings a lot of really beautiful religious hymns and chants. "O Jaana" opens the film and is simple and sweet; it has no purpose, but I like it regardless. There are a couple of very modern love songs that are good enough, such as "Lagan Lagi" and "Tumse Milna." I don't quite like how computer-processed "Lagan Lagi" is, though; it really ruins Sukhwinder Singh's amazing vocals. "Oodhni" is wonderful on and off screen. However, with the exception of the title song ("Without you, this ocean has no shore"), the lyrics are very standard and bland, which loses Tere Naam some major soundtrack points.

OVERALL -- 3.5/5
Tere Naam is not the happiest, sweetest movie, and it certainly is violent and morbid and twisted. But movies do not have to be sunshine and butterflies to be good. Tere Naam boasts a relatively unique plot line with great characters, and if you enjoy it the first time, you're bound to watch it again and again. Still, I wouldn't recommend blindly buying Tere Naam, because it's a film people have very strong reactions to, and your reaction may not be favorable. Put it in your Netflix queue and watch it on a rainy Friday for the full effect. At the very least, you're bound to enjoy the performances. Just make sure you have a feel-good film on hand to clear up the sadness that lingers after Tere Naam.

TOTAL SCORE -- 15.5/20 (great)

A COUPLE OF SIDENOTES:

A lot of people hate this movie because it's violent or because Salman Khan's character is more than a little crazy. I understand that; that's fine. But what I disagree with is people who say, "Well, if you like Tere Naam, you must approve of that sort of behavior!"

Here's what that reminds me of: Victorian poet Robert Browning wrote a poem called "My Last Duchess," which depicts a self-absorbed Duke talking about how he killed his previous wife because she wasn't good enough for him. A certain Dr. Langbaum wrote that we automatically sympathize with the Duke because he is the main character of the poem, and because he's an interesting character.

You know what I say to that? Bullshit. You can think a character is interesting and well-written without actually liking them. I love the character Bellatrix Lestrange in Harry Potter, but I'll be damned if I sympathize with the crazy bitch. The same goes for Tere Naam: thinking Radhe is an interesting character and that Salman Khan did a good job portraying him does not mean I think kidnapping people is a good idea.

Also, I hear a lot of complaints about the way asylums are portrayed in this movie. Yes, not all mental wards are that awful, especially if you're in a western country. But what people are forgetting is that not every hospital or office or town is like the place you work or live in, and this is especially true in developing nations like India. Many of these hospitals are under-funded, so the staff is rarely qualified and barely educated, leading to the use of outdated medicinal practices, and the facilities are rarely up to par and are often dirty and dilapidated. It's also noteworthy that they do not send him to a medical asylum; it's an asylum with "religious therapy," and at the risk of sounding like I'm bashing religion (because I am actually devoutly religious), faith-based therapy is often a load of crap.

Again, I get where a lot of people are coming from, but try to understand that places like Tere Naam's mental ward DO exist in this world, and the asylum depicted in this film is not meant to represent asylums as a whole. What goes on in capitalist first-world nations like America does not represent what goes on in the rest of the world, either. It's unfortunate that such horrible things happen, but they do.

Thoda Pyar Thoda Magic

2008-11-08T09:04:00.000-08:00

Thoda Pyar Thoda Magic -- A Little Love, a Little Magic

MAIN CAST

Rani Mukherji -- Geeta

Saif Ali Khan -- Ranbeer

Akshat Chopra -- Vashisht

Rachit Sidana -- Iqbal

Shriya Sharma -- Aditi
Ayushi Berman -- Avantika

BASIC PLOT OVERVIEW:

Abandoned by everyone he's ever loved, Ranbeer throws himself in to contests and competitions, always winning first place as he tries to fill the gap in his life. He grows up to be an extremely wealthy businessman with little time for others. When he kills a couple in a car accident, the judge hands down an unprecedented punishment: Ranbeer will take care of the couples' 4 orphaned children (as well as their dog and hampster!). Ranbeer has a tough time connecting to the children, so God sends his favorite angel, Geeta, to act as a nanny and help the family come together.

FILM -- 4/5

Alright, so it's not the most amazing script ever, and it's been done before. But Thoda Pyar Thoda Magic so damn cute! With the exception of the "Lazy Moments" song (discussed later), this is most definitely a family movie. It's simple, sweet, and very fun, and I thought it was entertaining from heart-to-finish, if a little cliche. The special effects are often very cartoony and "fake," but I thought it added to the magical atmosphere of the film. The costuming is top-notch, and the little bit of dancing is well-choreographed. I do think there's some sloppy editing; for example, the animal actors are specifically introduced in the beginning of the film, but they really don't show up after the interval. If you take TPTM for what it is--a sweet, child-friendly timepass--you're bound to enjoy it!

CHARACTERS -- 5/5

Call me trite, but I really loved the characters in this movie, and I can see small children loving them, too. I've never been a Saif Ali Khan fan, but this movie changed my mind; he is a great actor, and he's surprisingly handsome and charismatic! He'll win you over within the first hour of the film, even when he's acting like a bit of a douchebag. Rani Mukherji is adorable and looks super-cute. This role doesn't ask much of her, but she's a natural at "spunky woman" parts, so I won't fuss about it. The child actors are absolutely ADORABLE! I especially loved Rachit Sidana, who played the adopted Sikh boy Iqbal. Amisha Patel has a short run as Ranbeer's obnoxious girlfriend Malaika, and I thought she was pretty funny. One of the highlights of the cast is Rishi Kapoor, who shows up as God. I really liked how God was portrayed in this film: technically, yes, he's the "Christian God," but TPTM focuses less on actual religious beliefs and more on one's deeds. Rishi Kapoor's God is a universal (and rather funny) character who watches over everyone. As Ranbeer says towards the end: "All Gods are one." In other words, even if you aren't a Christian, this movie's portrayal of God will not offend you--it's very open-minded and kid-friendly!

SOUNDTRACK -- 3/5

The first song, "Pyaar Ke Liye," a lament to the young Ranbeer's loneliness, is absolutely beautiful. Refrains from this song play all throughout the film; I thought they were ill-timed at certain parts, but I'll let that slide. "Beetey Kal Se" annoyed me a little, because while it's a very fun song, it has a very heavy-handed message attached to it that I felt was really out of place. Granted, a small child won't pick up on that--I never picked up on the enviornmentalist themes in Ferngully until I was in high school--but it still grated on me. "Bulbula" is cheesey and has some of the stupidest lyrics I've ever heard, but it's catchy if you're under the age of 12. "Lazy Moments" is a bouncey club song that I like off-screen, but fair warning: Amisha Patel and Saif Ali Khan get really sexual for the first 2/3 of it in-film. I thought that was REALLY inappropriate for a family movie. If you're watching TPTM with children, be prepared to skip over "Lazy Moments." "Nilhaal Ho Gayi," however, is how family film love songs should be made!

OVERALL -- 3.5/5

This movie isn't perfect--not by a long shot--and there are much better family films that deal with the same subject and themes. Yet Thoda Pyar Thoda Magic is surprisingly good, in that super-saccharine, kid-friendly sort of way. Most Bollywood films drag in some places, but I was shocked when the intermission popped up in TPTM--I didn't realize so much time had passed! I whole-heartedly recommend this movie to people who have a high tolerance for sap or want a flick they can watch with the kids around. It's infectuous, adorable, and just plain fun.

TOTAL SCORE -- 15.5/20 (great)

Dhokha

2008-11-05T13:59:00.000-08:00

Dhokha -- Deceit

MAIN CAST
Muzammil Ibrahim -- Zaid
Tulip Joshi -- Sarah
Anupam Kher -- Sarah's grandfather

BRIEF PLOT OVERVIEW
Zaid, a police officer and moderate Muslim, is wholely devoted to his career and his beautiful wife, Sarah. When a fundamentalist suicide bomber strikes and Zaid's wife is blamed, he sets off on a quest to discover the truth behind this betrayal.

FILM -- 3.5/5
Dhokha has a lot to boast about. Pooja Bhatt directed the film wonderfully, and the camerawork is incredible. Some of the scenes...guh! The dialogue, unfortunately, often falls flat or becomes melodramatic, which I think is unnecessary when you deal with such serious themes. Actually, the whole script is a bit random, and I got a bit lost at certain parts. They would jump from one thing to another, and while I know these things were all related via "prejiduce against Muslims," it was very poorly executed. In short, the flow and pacing are off. The music is not integrated very well; there are some parts where the song breaks are very inappropriate or are picturized poorly.

CHARACTERS -- 4/5
Newcomer Muzammil Ibrahim is amazing. I hope to see more from him; he has a lot of on-screen presence, and I'm sure he could become an absolutely awe-inspiring actor with a little more work. He's also a truly beautiful man, which is a rare thing for me to say, and his modeling career can prove it. Tulip Joshi manages to craft a dichotomy between the innocent Sarah of Zaid's dreams and the fundamentalist martyr he fears with her body language and facial expressions. I've always thought of Anupam Kher as a comedic actor, a man who best fits the role of the "doting father," but he takes a more serious turn in Dhokha, and he shines! The supporting cast is kind of bland, but is otherwise unremarkable.

SOUNDTRACK -- 3/5
Dhokha's background music is very classical and ethnic, while the lyrical songs are more modern, with a lot of sythpop beats and electronically-enhanced vocals. Namely, the title track could have been really awesome, but the vocals are AWFUL and are mixed very poorly. Also, the wedding song between Zaid and Sarah is very lovely; it reminds me of a sweeter, softer version of K3G's "Suraj Hua Madham." In the end, I'll never like Dhokha's lyrical soundtrack as more than occassional background music, but I'm sure most people will be much more interested in it. The instrumentals, however, are gorgeous, and they're definitely worth a listen.

OVERALL -- 3.5/5
I can see why so many people love Dhokha. It handles the powerful and controversial theme of Islamic terrorism--and the resultant prejiduces against Muslims as a whole--very well, and it includes an incredible cast of newcomers. There are some awesome, powerful scenes, and the soundtrack is good if you're in to more modern music. Unfortunately, the story is choppy and uneven, and I found the pacing and tone lacking in certain parts. I'd still recommend Dhokha to anybody who likes a good drama, and I'm glad I bought a cheap copy of it, but the truth is that I found it unremarkable on the whole.

TOTAL SCORE -- 14/20 (really good)

Dil Hai Tumhara

2008-10-26T22:17:00.000-07:00

Dil Hai Tumhara -- My Heart is Yours

MAIN CAST

Preity Zinta -- Shalu

Mahima Chauddhry -- Nimmi

Arjun Rample -- Dev

Jimmy Shergill -- Sameer

Rekha -- Sarita

BRIEF PLOT OVERVIEW

Sarita adores her husband Shekhar and their daughter Nimmi. Sarita's perfectly family is shattered when she takes Nimmi to the fair and catches Shekhar with his mistress and their daughter, Shalu. Shekhar and his mistress die in a car accident soon after, but Shalu survives, and Shekhar's dieing wish is that Sarita treat Shalu like her own daughter. Sarita takes the girl in, but neglects her and greatly favors Nimmi. Still, Nimmi and Shalu grow close throughout the years, until the arrival of a handsome businessman named Dev threatens to pull them apart.

FILM -- 2.5/5
Dil Hai Tumhara isn't poorly made, but a few changes would have made the whole movie much more enjoyable. There are many plots going on at once, which is normal in Bollywood masala, but they don't flow very well, and one plot will go on for an hour and will be sandwiched by another plot cut in to 15-minute segments. A good example of this is the "Sameer's unrequited love plot," because Sameer disappears for over an hour! Actually, the love stories in general are not very well-written. I know that, as a long-time Bollywood fan, I should be able to stomach insta-love, but Dev's sudden "OMFGILOVEYOU!" moment with Shalu wasn't very believable. A number of scenes could have been cut or shortened, like the "obligatory masala action sequence" where Mahima ends up looking like she's got one Hell of a period. The dancing and costuming are "just okay" in some parts, "frippin' awesome" in others--"Dil Laga Liya," anyone?

CHARACTERS -- 3/5

This is a melodrama, and the characters are your typical over-dramatic, 2-dimensional stock. Yet the cast still manages to act as well as a melodrama allows. In my opinion, Rekha gave the best performance; while the other characters were completely stereotypical and over-the-top, she managed to wring emotional responses out of me at every turn. Her Sarita is an interesting character, subtly characterized in a way only Rekha can characterize, and we end up loving Sarita for her strength while simultaneously hating her for holding a grudge against Shalu. Preity Zinta and Arjun Rample have both given much better performances, but they're still relatively charming in DHT. Jimmy Shergill gives off a "real sweetheart" vibe, and I thought he was surprisingly sexy with a mustache! I just wish his characters got a little more looooove...maybe the ladies would like him more if he didn't carry around that damn puppet everywhere he went. Mahima Chaudhry looks gorgeous, but she's unusually stiff and bland pre-intermission. She's incredibly charismatic and fun post-intermission! Both Mahima and Preity have good chemistry with Arjun, and I thought the Preity/Jimmy chemistry was very sweet and innocent. The best chemistry comes from Preity and Mahima, who have a dynamic and intensely loyal relationship throughout the entire film. I have a love/hate relationship with the supporting cast, which includes the adorable Alok Nath and some oh-so-bland villainous characters.

SOUNDTRACK -- 3.5/5

Dil Hai Tumhara has a really catchy soundtrack, and it grows on you when you least expect it, kind of like a skin fungus. "Dil Laga Liya" alone adds 2 stars to the film's soundtrack score, both on-screen and on-iPod. "Dil Laga Liya"'s melodies are used as instrumental refrains throughout the film. I also love "Mohabbat". "Kasam Khake Chalo," another upbeat love song, is really good, and Preity and Mahima are resplendent in-film in their yellow salwaars. "Chayya Hai Jo Dil" didn't do much for me at first, but it's grown on me, and now it's one of my top tracks from the soundtrack. Not gonna lie, though: I skip over the title song every time I watch this movie. (My one friend loves that song, though, so maybe I'm just missing some of the magic.) "Kabhi Hasna Hai Kabhi" plays during the opening and features some great body language from Rekha in-film, but both it and "Chabo Zubaan" are much better in-film than off-screen.

OVERALL -- 3/5

Alright, I admit it: I'm a whore for melodramatic masala. Dil Hai Tumhara is cliche, crazy, and slow, but I really enjoyed it, although I did fast forward through some of the more unneccessary scenes. If you're in to 90s-style masala melodramas with good soundtracks, you'll probably like Dil Hai Tumhara. Otherwise, don't bother.

TOTAL SCORE -- 12/20 (okay)

Ankur

2008-10-25T10:14:00.000-07:00

Ankur -- The Seedling

MAIN CAST:
Shabana Azmi -- Lakshmi
Anant Nag -- Surya
Sadhu Meher -- Kishtaya

BRIEF PLOT OVERVIEW:
Surya, a member of the land-owning cast, is sent by his father to handle matters in a nearby village. There he meets Kishtaya, a deaf mute alcoholic member of the Dalit ("untouchable") caste, and Kishtaya's beautiful wife Lakshmi, who's only desire is to have a child. Before long, Surya and Lakhsmi are having an affair, overstepping boundaries and pushing the limits of the caste system.

FILM -- 4.5/5
Ankur is blessed with a lot of talent. Its script, its scenery, its colors...they're all very limited. Yet that's what makes Ankur work: we get a taste of how the Dalits live versus the *Vaisyas; we see how their lives are devoid of the luxuries and pleasures an upper-caste person would enjoy. Ankur shows the darker side of India, but unlike Bandit Queen, it doesn't purposely shock you or beat you over the head with it, so you don't feel completely alienated by the social issues it displays. One example is the scene where Kishtaya--after being caught stealing from Surya--has his head shaved and is paraded through the village riding backwards on a mule. His humiliation is so perfectly filmed and directed that the viewer can't help but feel for him. The dialogue is this movie's creative strong point, and every minor nuance helps to characterize the main cast. There are a few directorial decisions I never would have made (I wouldn't have hired Anant Nag, for example), but beyond that, Ankur is solidly made.

CHARACTERS -- 4.5/5
The best part of Ankur: the characters! Shabana Azmi is at her glorious, glorious best. She looks beautiful and gives one of the greatest performances I've ever seen. Lakshmi is charactertized not only by her spoken dialogue and actions, but also by Azmi's nuanced facial expressions and subtle body language. Ankur alone is enough to prove that Shabana Azmi is a one-of-a-kind star. However, Anant Nag really disappointed me. He seemed very wooden at certain points; while he was much more natural when he was on-screen with Azmi, it seemed like she was the one guiding the scene and, hence, he did better. When he's alone, he just doesn't perform as well. Surya was an interesting character, but I don't think Nag brought enough to the screen. But Sadhu Meher...now, there's a different story! The man has no spoken dialogue, but he communicates with the camera so well that you feel as if he's actually speaking to you. Kishtaya will enrage you, but he will also evoke your sense of pity, and he is the long-suffering, complex character most of my Indian friends relate to the most. (Coincidentally, he is also the character I was the most interested in as Ankur progressed.) Sadhu Meher really piqued my interest in Ankur, and now I want to see more from him.

SOUNDTRACK -- 4/5
Obviously, Ankur is a drama, so it doesn't have the song breaks and dances you'd find in most Hindi films. It does have well-written background music, and while it isn't the sort of stuff I'd listen to outside of its film context, it doesn't take away from the movie, either. There are also some integrated religious songs that I really liked, and they integrated said songs in both happy and sad scenes, showing the dichotomy that characterizes the human existence.

OVERALL -- 4/5
To be perfectly honest, I was a bit disappointed by Ankur. Everybody told me that this is one of the most amazing movies I'd ever see and that it would really affect me. While I did feel touched and emotionally stirred by Ankur--especially in its final scenes with Kishtaya and Lakshmi--I wasn't as moved as I was by Indian dramas like Hey Ram or Pinjar. (On the plus side, it didn't aggitate me the way Bandit Queen did.) That doesn't mean Ankur is bad, just that it's a little overhyped. It's a great movie with some of the best performances I've ever seen, and it's definitely on my "top 50 dramas" list, but it doesn't even come close to being on my top 10, and I do feel that it glossed over some issues and/or made them seem less troublesome than they really are. I still highly recommend Ankur to fans of slow-boiling, pricking-under-the-skin dramas, if only for the incredible performances from Shabana Azmi and Sadhu Meher.

TOTAL SCORE -- 17/20 (great)

* Note: I am relatively sure Surya and his family are Vaisyas, but an Indian friend of mine suggested that they may be Kshaytriyas. If anybody knows exactly which of the 4 major castes Surya is a member of, I'd be much obliged for the input!

Bunty aur Babli

2008-10-19T17:10:00.000-07:00

Bunty Aur Babli -- Bunty and Babli

MAIN CAST:

Abhishek Bachchan -- Rakesh/Bunty

Rani Mukerji -- Vimmi/Babli

Amitabh Bachchan -- ACP Singh

BRIEF PLOT OVERVIEW:

Vimmi and Rakesh are small-town loafers with big dreams: the former wants to become Miss India, the latter dreams of being known world-wide. When both of run away, only to have their plans for success fail, the two team up as "Bunty and Babli," the greatest con artists India has ever seen.

FILM -- 5/5

The thing I really love about BnB is how fresh and original it is. Movies about heists aren't original, that is, but all of the little individualities and details really make it stand out. There are so many cute scenes and lines in this movie, I can't just name a few! The choreography is good, the camera work is perfect, and the script is fun and entertaining. The costuming is generally top-notch, although I think Abhishek Bachchan's looks are a bit too elegant and mature for pleather and sleeveless vests. There's nevera dull moment during BnB; the movie had my full attention the whole time. BnB is just plain darling!

CHARACTERS -- 4.5/5

Abhishek Bachchan and Rani Mukerji are a dream team! I was never a huge fan of Abhishek as an actor until this movie, but now I think he's definitely Amitabh's son, and he's found his calling in fresh comedy. Rani looks truly gorgeous, and while her crying gets to be a bit much sometimes, I figured that was part of othe humor. These two are at their comedic best in BnB; they compliment each other as actors and have incrediblie on-screen chemistry. Unfortunately, Amitabh Bachchan didn't quite do it for me in BnB. It's not that his acting is bad--it's just fine--but his character is mildly obnoxious. He also looks a bit tired...his age is really starting to show. Still, I loved watching him dance with his son and daughter-in-law in "Kajra Re!" The supporting cast is okay; there are some good Indian actors, but the white actors are wooden and godawful. Also, I know a lot of people said "Kajra Re" was horrible and Aishwarya Rai looked awful, but I have to ask...what are these people talking about?! Ash looks unbelievably sex!

SOUNDTRACK -- 4/5

In typical Yash Raj fashion, BnB's soundtrack just can't fail. The movie opens with "Dhadak Dhadak," a catchy and upbeat song that you just want to dance to. Aishwarya's item number, "Kajra Re," has a really great beat and gets stuck in your head. "Chup Chup Ke" is typical Yash Raj romantic fare, but it's okay, and I like it in-film because of the Abhishek/Rani chemistry. "Nach Baliye" is an awesome club song that I love dancing to, and the title song is quirky and fun, if a little tiresome.

OVERALL -- 5/5

Despite all of its flaws, I really loved Bunty Aur Babli. It's an example of what modern Bollywood should be: entertaining and heart-warming! It made Abhishek and Rani one of my new favorite jodis, pushed its way on to my "top 50 Bollywood films" list, and finally proved to me that Aishwarya Rai can look like more than a China doll. Even better, this movie is great for Bollywood beginners as well as seasoned fans. I recommend Bunty Aur Babli to everyone!

TOTAL SCORE -- 18.5/20 (almost perfect)

Raju Ban Gaya Gentleman

2008-10-18T00:34:00.000-07:00

Raju Ban Gaya Gentleman -- Raju Becomes a Gentleman

MAIN CAST:
Shahrukh Khan -- Raju
Juhi Chawla -- Renu
Nana Patekar -- Jai
Amrita Singh -- Sapna

BRIEF PLOT OVERVIEW:
Small town boy and big dreamer Raju wants to ace his exams so he can move to Bombay and become an engineer. He passes with flying colors and moves to Bombay, where he meets the sweet Renu and eventually gets a job in Sapna's company. Before long, Raju is breezing through the ranks and is endlessly charming his lovely boss...but at what cost?

FILM -- 2/5
Oh, you obnoxious pile of cliches, where do I start? Your script is meh, as is your choreography and your camerawork, with the exception of the rain scenes and Jai's entrance. Most of the costumes and sets are second-rate, and I feel really bad for the women in RBGG: their clothes are God awful. There are some obnoxiously cheesey action scenes in this movie. I can usually handle them--it comes with the "fan of 90s films" territory--but come ON! They're stupid and silly and overdone even by 90s masala standards. The last hour or so of this movie is absolute crap. I could hardly pay attention to it during the first viewing, and I know that if I ever watch RBGG again, I'll just eject the DVD when things start getting stupid (and not in a good way). I won't deny that RBGG had a couple of sugary moments and neat touches I enjoyed, like Jai's almost psychic abilities, but other than that, I felt let down. Where's the masala charm I've come to expect and love?!

CHARACTERS -- 2.5/5
I know that movies like RBGG function mainly on cliches, and I'm almost always fully prepared for that. But these cliches work for other films because the characters charm or fascinate us, and they have a lot of on-screen presence. RBGG didn't get the message. Shahrukh Khan plays one of his many Raj characters, a naive goody two-shoes who is almost too good. This isn't his worse performance, but it lacks the charm of some of his other lover boy performances. Juhi Chawla looks lovely and plays the good girl well, but Amrita Singh often looks way too masculine to me. Both the main and supporting casts are basically made up of recycled characters that lack the emotive attractiveness of their original counterparts, with the notable exception of the brightest star in the cast: Nana Patekar. Holy crap, Nana Patekar, please marry me, you are made of awesomeness! I am blindly purchasing more of your movies, all because RBGG proved to me that you can make silver out of shit. You are the whole reason why I give RBGG's 2-dimensional characters and bland acting a 2.5/5 instead of a 1.5/5.

SOUNDTRACK -- 1/5
There's no gold here, so don't even try digging for it. There are a couple of cute tunes, like the title song, which I hated at first, then enjoyed because of its catchy saccharine sweetness. Also, the love scene between SRK and Juhi when she's in the bronze dress? Very sexy and sultry music. The rest of the soundtrack, however, is either mediocre or absolute crap; namely, I can't stand the songs between Raju and Sapna. They're so boring! Ugh!

OVERALL -- 2/5
RBGG isn't necessarily a bad movie, but it can't match up to other flicks of the same breed. While Kuch Kuch Hota Hai, Rangeela, Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge, Jab We Met, and so on and so on are also candyfloss romantic films with a healthy helping of silliness and a suspended sense of reality, they're charming, fun, and bring some freshness to the scene. RBGG doesn't cut it. The first hour of this movie is mindless fluff that I kind of enjoyed, but it's all downhill from there. I wouldn't recommend this movie to anybody, but I'm glad I bought a $3 copy of it, if only for the feel-good factor of that first hour. In the future, I'll watch it for Nana Patekar and nothing else.

TOTAL SCORE -- 7.5/20 (bad)

Bandit Queen

2008-10-14T16:46:00.000-07:00

Bandit Queen

Sometimes I think people only like movies because they're so full of graphic brain-fucking that they'd feel guilty saying they didn't enjoy it.

Now, that's a bit unfair with Bandit Queen. Nobody could enjoy this movie. Think it was a good movie, yeah, but not enjoy it. Bandit Queen shows the absolute darkest side of India through the life of Phoolan Devi, the infamous bandit who helped revolutionize India for women and the lower castes (at least, as much as one woman could). And it's well-done; it definitely fucks with your head, upsets you, and makes you want to cry. Vicious gang-rape scenes and woman beating can be overdone, but even though that's the meat of Bandit Queen, it doesn't seem like they're beating you over the head with it.

Well, not too much. There's a difference between showing a tragic event effectively (Schindler's List) and bombarding people with rape and tragedy for the shock factor (the television series Rome). There are times where it's VERY obvious the makers of Bandit Queen didn't quite catch on to the difference. I can handle a movie that's tragic or disturbing and drives the point home (Pinjar or Water), I can't stand films that stab you multiple times with said point (Bandit Queen).

Also, I would like to briefly point out that there are maybe half a dozen movies that have drained me so much afterwards that I couldn't do anything, that I felt like I was in another world and everything else around me didn't matter. Bandit Queen is one of them, and if you need a western response; Passion of the Christ. I was worthless for the rest of the day after I saw that movie; I just couldn't bring myself to do anything because it all felt...hopeless. Think about movies that effect you that way, and you have an idea about the power of Bandit Queen.

The truth is that I didn't even think Bandit Queen was a great movie. I'm glad I saw it, but parts of it really nag me. Namely, Phoolan Devi was only portrayed as being strong when a man had her back. The specific example that sticks out in my mind is when she and Man Singh are running from the police, and she yells out that she'll "tell Vikram and get him to beat you." Vikram being her dead male lover.

Seriously? This woman is supposed to be a beacon of strength, a symbol of feminine empowerment, yet when things get tough she runs crying to Vikram's memory like it's a crutch? This happens all throughout the film: if men aren't supporting her, she loses all of her power.

Bandit Queen is a movie you should only see once. I had to see it twice: the first time I was wholely unaware of its content and watched it because Manoj Bajpai was in it, and the second time--tonight--my Bengali lit professor put it on in my night class. I considered explaining myself to her so I could get out of it, but I couldn't. I'd probably have to get in to the personal experiences that make me super-sensitive to rape scenes, and that's just too much.

So I watched it again and tried not to feel too drained afterwards.

And I promised to try and write my opinions briefly (because this is as brief as I can get about this movie) out of my original format.

All rambling aside: yes, you should see Bandit Queen. But don't buy it. It's a movie you have to see, because if Karan Johar's films are India's colorful face multiplied by a thousand, Bandit Queen is India's sickly, rotting underbelly. And being half German, I know first-hand that knowing the dark side of your country's past is just as important as knowing about the beauty its brought to the world. Watch Bandit Queen once, then watch some Bollywood masala candyfloss. I'm sure your perspective on India--or any country, for that matter--will even out, allowing you to see India not as a backwards country, nor solely as a producer of happy-go-lucky flicks, but as a humanized entity with flawlessness and flaws.

But I swear to almighty GOD, I will never watch this movie a third time unless somebody holds a gun to my head.

I would like to note that Phoolan Devi herself debated the historical accuracy of this film: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phoolan_Devi#Film_and_autobiography

To my (few) readers:

2008-10-12T12:52:00.001-07:00

Thank you for putting up with me while I moved all of my reviews from Last.fm to Blogspot! Reviews will be posted at the normal rate of about 3 per month from now on. =)

Virasat

2008-10-12T12:36:00.000-07:00

Virasat -- Legacy

MAIN CAST

Anil Kapoor -- Shakti

Tabu -- Gehna

Pooja Batra -- Anita

Amrish Puri -- Raja

Govind Namdeo -- Birju

BRIEF PLOT OVERVIEW:

Shakti returns from America almost completely westernized, much to his father Raja's dismay. When Raja passes away, Shakti is left in charge of the farmers surrounding his land, with his vicious Uncle Birju and his equally evil cousins at his back.

FILM -- 3.5/5

The movie opens on a high note with the song "Ek Tha Raja" and some lovely photos of Amrish Puri. I had a bit of trouble seeing what was going on at certain points because of poor lighting, but I completely forgot about this fault when a bunch of white-clad men jumped out of the trees to greet Shakti. Such a cute scene! Sadly, the lighting doesn't get much better as the movie progresses, so even when you are temporarily distracted from it by well-written scenes and energetic choreography, you're still forced to squint from time to time. The action scenes are ridiculous, even by Bollywood standards, with the notable exception of the dam sequence. There are some really beautiful sequences, too, like the Anil/Tabu love scene in the beginning of "Payalay Chunmun."

CHARACTERS -- 4/5

The main cast is almost flawless. Anil Kapoor loses a lot cool points thanks to his mullet, but otherwise, he brings his trademark charm to Shakti. I didn't think I'd like Pooja Batra, and sure enough, her delivery of her English lines is stilted, but she's exquisitely beautiful and performs well enough. Tabu and Amrish Puri's talents are vastly underused. As for on-screen chemistry: Anil and Pooja look good together, and Tabu is so talented she could have convincing chemistry with a cow, so it's no surprise that Shakti and Gehna make a wonderful couple. The supporting cast is a bit lackluster; namely, Govind Namdeo is a great actor, but the writers decided to make Birju "evil" by giving him two wives, a disability, and a mosquito-laden home, so Namdeo's abilities have next to no room to shine through. It works on the surface, but I like my villains to have a little more meat or a little less stereotyping.

MUSIC -- 3/5

I usually don't care for Hari Haran's voice, but I love "Ek Tha Raja." "Dhol Bajne Laga" doesn't take any risks and therefore isn't anything special; it's just a mediocre song to whittle the minutes away. "Tare Hain Barati" does nothing for me. "Sun Mausa Sun" and "Payalay Chunmun" are great, though, and they give the soundtrack a major boost. "Payalay Chunmun" is actually one of my favorite Bollywood songs. Virasat suffers from a lot of track blending, so you may have to listen to the soundtrack half a dozen times before you can tell each tune apart.

OVERALL -- 4/5

I'm torn between giving this film an A- or a B+, but in the end, I have to choose the B+. While Virasat suffers from only a few flaws, they're huge ones, like the up-and-down soundtrack, the rather boring first half, and the poor lighting in roughly a quarter of the scenes, inducing headaches and eye strain. The second half of the movie is awesome and the first half just can't match up; I had to force myself to sit through the whole mess until the village committee scene rolled around. Virasat is decent and is certainly worth a rental, but I don't plan on buying it unless it's in a bargain bin, and I don't get where all of the rave reviews are coming from. There's a strong script, a great cast, and a fantastic second half, there's just not enough magic to make Virasat come to life as a whole.

TOTAL SCORE -- 14.5/20 (really good)

Umrao Jaan

2008-10-12T12:30:00.000-07:00

Umrao Jaan (2006) -- *Umrao, My Life

MAIN CAST
Aishwarya Rai -- Umrao Jaan
Shabana Azmi -- Khanum Jaan
Abhishek Bachchan -- Nawab Sultan
Sunil Shetty -- Faiz Ali

BRIEF PLOT OVERVIEW:
A remake of the 1981 hit starring Rekha: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Umrao_Jaan

FILM -- 3/5
As a remake of the incredible 1981 film Umrao Jaan, which starred Rekha as the titular courtesan, this film has a lot to live up to and manages to do so in terms of technical mastery: there's some lovely (if repetitive) dancing and stylish, gorgeous costumes. The script is a bit jilted and choppy and points; namely, the dialogue often sounds stiff and unnatural, and it's very annoying when the story keeps returning to the "modern day" Umrao and the poet as the former narrates her story. Fewer flash-forwards would have helped the movie's flow immensely. There are some truly gorgeous scenes, like the first time Umrao and Nawab Sultan are in bed together (when she is deflowered and therefore earns the "Jaan" title), which left me breathless.

CHARACTERS -- 3.5/5
The beautiful Aishwarya Rai has come a long way since Dhaai Akshar Prem Ke, and she plays the melancholy courtesan very well, although her performance is nothing compared to Rekha's in the earlier version of Umrao Jaan. The young actress who plays her as a child, Bansree Mandhani, shines during her brief moments on-screen. Umrao Jaan proves that Abhishek Bachchan CAN act. He looks quite handsome in his noble's garb, and his eyes really connect with the viewer. Like his off-screen wife, he has greatly improved since he starred in the pitiful Dhaai Akshar Prem Ke. Aishwarya and Abhishek finally have chemistry on-screen as well as off--I guess that marriage helped! I'm not huge on Sunil Shetty, but I loved his portrayal of the villanous Faiz Ali and his obsession with Umrao. If there's one thing Sunil can do well, it's play a villain. The real star of the film is Shabana Azmi, who plays the powerful bawd Khanum Jaan so well you can hardly believe the character isn't an actual person. Her mature beauty rivals Aishwarya's youthful good looks, and she brings complexity and honesty to Khanum. The supporting cast is both vast and vastly talented, including Himani Shivpuri has her kind "aunty" and Divya Dutta, Ayesha Jhulka, and Puru Raajkumar has her friends and fellow courtesans.

MUSIC -- 1/5
There's little to be said for Umrao Jaan's soundtrack. Composed entirely of period pieces, it's quite pretty and makes great background music, but no song stands out individually. The whole soundtrack blends like one long track. I'd be hard-pressed to listen to it outside of its film context. The vocals are great, however, so it's certainly worth a playthrough.

OVERALL -- 1.5/5
Umrao Jaan is like a great painting: it's beautiful to look at, but you can only stare it for so long before you want to move on to the next painting to see something new. I fast-forwarded through certain parts of the film, mostly when the characters were monologueing for no good reason or when there was a song without dancing, so be prepared for about half an hour of filler. The second half is alright, but the first half is much better. I would buy UJ if it were on sale for less than $5, and I'd certainly rent it, but it's not the kind of movie I'd pay full price for, since it only has a little replay value. If you get a choice between this updated Umrao Jaan or the original Rekha version, take the original; it's a thousand times better.

TOTAL SCORE -- 9/20 (mediocre)

* While this movie lacks bad language and nudity, I would not recommend it to children because it centers around courtesans in a brothel, which a young child would not understand, and contains a rape scene. Though tame, it is still a rape scene.

** This is a very literal translation. Umrao is the character's courtesan name and Jaan was an honorary title applied to very famous/high-ranking courtesans who had finally lost their virginity.

Pinjar

2008-10-12T12:14:00.000-07:00

Pinjar -- Cage (some translations say Skeleton)

MAIN CAST

Puro -- Urmila Matondkar

Rashid -- Manoj Bajpai

Ramchand -- Sanjay Suri

Trilok -- Priyanshu Chatterjee

BRIEF PLOT OVERVIEW:

There are many films that attempt to capture the horrifying consequences of India's partition, but none are as incredible as Pinjar. The script turns what could have been a droll bloodbath in a psychologically intense story that never misses a beat. It follows the tale of Puro, a young Hindu girl who is engaged to an intellectual named Rachmand. One day, while Puro is strolling in the fields, she is kidnapped by a Muslim man named Rashid. (In the original novel, it is mentioned that Rashid rapes Puro; this is never specifically stated in the movie, though it is implied.) According to Rashid, Puro's ancestors once kidnapped one of Rashid's ancestors, so his family has decided to even the score. Desperate to maintain the family's honor, Puro's parents marry their younger daughter Rajjo to Ramchand's cousin, Kirpal, and marry their son Trilok to Ramchand's younger sister, Lajo. Meanwhile, Rashid admits that he is in love with Puro.

FILM -- 5/5

This story throws you from one emotional extreme to the other; one moment you're biting your nails, your breath bated and your heart skipping beats due to the suspense, and minutes later you're bawling your eyes out and wailing at the screen as if the characters can actually hear you. Pinjar is so perfectly written, crafted, and presented that it surpasses almost every other film I've ever seen in terms of raw power and technical mastery. Pinjar is beautifully shot, and it doesn't just use bright colors to create beauty, which is the pitfall of many Bollywood films (cough cough, Karan Johar, cough cough). There are plenty of simple but elegant scenes that are gorgeous because of their composition, not their colors.

CHARACTERS -- 5/5

Pinjar is the movie that cemented my love for the incredible Manoj Bajpai. His acting is, as always, impeccable; this is his crowning performance, and it proves that he's an underrated superstar. The intensity he brings to Rashid's character will bowl you ever; Bajpai is especially good at speaking with his eyes, and they speak volumes when he and Puro first exchange glances. Urmila Matondkar, long considered little more than a 90s sex symbol, uses Puro as a vehicle to prove she has talent. Her Puro is outwardly demure, but harbors a brave heart. Sometimes Isha Koppikar's voice gets a little annoying, but other than that, the supporting cast's performances are as award-worthy as the main cast's. The underused Priyanshu Chatterjee and Sandali Sinha are particularly notable for their complex portrayals of Trilok and Lajo.

MUSIC -- 5/5

There are no magical costume changes or classic Bollywood song breaks in Pinjar. The soundtrack is comprised primarily of integrated background music, mostly in the form of hymns and traditional songs, and each composition is haunting in its own way. "Waris Shah Nu" opens the film, striking fear and anxiety in to the viewer's heart. This song sounds so creepy! The lyrics are so sad! What's going to happen?! The cute, upbeat "Maar Udari" soothes your nerves soon after, and "Sita Ko Dekhe" calms you musically and intrigues you lyrically. "Charkha Chalati Maa" features slow, intoxicating drums and soft, luxorious vocals, framing a heart-wrenching poem about the unfair treatment of women that still plagues parts of India today:

all of the comforts and luxuries for the son,

the stranger's hand for the daughter.

My favorite song is definitely "Darda Marya," a beautiful piece integrated in to a Muslim religious ceremony. Cheerful music in the midst of such a dark story should feel jarring, but instead it provides a much-needed break from the gritty atmosphere, and the more melancholy tunes are so chilling! If you don't enjoy the soundtrack the first time around, you're certain to fall in love with it after one or two playthroughs.

OVERALL -- 5/5

Pinjar's portrayal of the Partition is honest and unflinching; no side is favored over the other and no grisly truth is left unexplored. This isn't your usual saccharine Bollywood love story, drenched with colorful item numbers and melodramatic speeches. It's a realistic, powerful story with 10 times the emotional value of Dil Se and a thousand times more starpower than Kabhi Khushi Kabhie Gham. Pinjar is also the only story that has had a rape victim fall in love with her rapist and fully convinced--and did not offend--me. I certainly wouldn't recommend Pinjar if all you want is lighthearted fluff (which is great in its own right), but I suggest that you give it at least one viewing. If Pinjar doesn't strike you as one of the greatest movies ever made, your heart is painted black.

TOTAL SCORE -- 20/20 (perfect)

ON A SIDE NOTE:

I've heard a lot of people say that Hindus were portrayed more favorably than Muslims in Pinjar, but I have to respectfully disagree. Yes, the Hindus are wonderful on a mass level, with colorful dance numbers and bright ceremonies...but are they that great on a singular level? Puro's parents reject her, her brother commits vengeful acts with no thought of their effect on Puro, Ramchand--the supposed "ideal Hindu husband"--doesn't even recognize Puro, and several Hindu men treat Puro and Rashid's loving care of an abandoned child as Muslims' attempt to one-up them. By contrast, the Muslims are awful on a mass level; we see them burn villages and attack women. But on a personal level, they are much more interesting and complex, especially Rashid, who is a gem of a man. They also seem to put up with more abuse, and it's made quite clear to the viewers that the Hindu population has a stronger grasp on India.

Nayak: The Real Hero

2008-10-12T12:05:00.000-07:00

Nayak: The Real Hero

MAIN CAST
Anil Kapoor -- Shivaji
Rani Mukerji -- Manjari
Amrish Puri -- Chief Minister
Paresh Rawal -- Bansal
Johnny Lever -- Topi

BRIEF PLOT OVERVIEW:
Camera man Shivaji Rao just wants the simple things in life: a home by his parents' house, waking up late on Sundays next to his beloved Manjari, and a job as a news reporter. Then he challenges the corrupt Chief Minister on live television, and the enraged CM challenges Shivaji to take his job for a day. Shivaji accepts the challenge and rocks the world during his day as the Chief Minister, so much so that people insist he take the job permanently!

FILM -- 4/5
I really enjoyed the humorous aspects of this film. The early scene with the glowing "clap/laugh" signs and the bored audience made me laugh out loud, and even Johnny Lever's scenes are relatively comedic, especially when he gets beaten up by the hijra for calling them "eunuchs." I fully enjoyed the choreography, and I thought the picturizing was fun and funky--sometimes a little TOO funky. Speaking of funky: the costuming definitely shows improvement over some of Anil Kapoor's previous films. The flashy costumes used in the picturizing are absolutely gorgeous, like the various royal costumes seen during "Saiyyan." Some of the dialogue is great, other parts of the script are completely ridiculous, but it works as a whole to create a delightful masala flick. The writers managed to handle subjects like casteism, poverty, and police negligence surprisingly well, given the film's genre. Without ruining the plot, I can safely say that the riot scene is dramatic without being melodramatic, and the scene where Shivaji steps outside to take a call from Bansal ripped my heart out. Of course, it's not masala without SOME melodrama, so they threw some crazy twists in to the mix...and I actually liked most of them! Anil's character creates a minor plothole when he suspends just about everybody in an authority position, leaving the state virtually leaderless, but like most Bollywood movies, Nayak expects you to suspend your sense of reality for its duration. The other aggitating issue is the divide between the first half of the film and the second half, which are held together by some rather shakey plot threads. Overall, the film is well-shot, well-written, and enjoyable, but does suffer from a slight lack of fluidity, as well as some annoying "zoom-in-zoom-out" shots during the sillier songs.

CHARACTERS -- 4.5/5
What is it about Anil Kapoor that tugs on our heart strings? Even when he's playing the most disgusting human being on the planet, he manages to draw you in with his charisma and magnetism, and Nayak is no different. (Although I still want to give him a haircut and shave off that ugly mustache, ugh!) His parents--especially his mother--are the cutest elders I've ever seen in a masala flick! Of course, Rani Mukerji wows you with her good looks as soon as she walks on screen, and she gives a strong performance as the spunky Manjari. She looks especially stunning during the montage of video clips Shivaji recorded throughout the day. Amrish Puri was one of the best actors of his generation; despite his typecasting as a "stern father figure," he was always able to play a variety of rules, including this performance as a villain. Sushmita Sen really does nothing for me, and her special appearance during "Shakalaka Baby" gets old fast when she tries to speak Spanish, but she certainly dances well. Paresh Rawal is the real gem from this cast, and Bansal is easily one of the best characters in the film. The only major issue that I had with the characters was that a few were rather 2-dimensional because they were defined by a single personality trait. As a whole, however, I loved the cast and thought they performed marvelously.

MUSIC -- 4.5/5
The soundtrack isn't as lyrically beautiful as Dil Se, but it still manages to create some poetry; the soundtrack isn't as musically catchy as Om Shanti Om, but it's still fun. While I prefer to watch "Tu Achcha Lagta Hai" in-film because of its obnoxiously cute picturizing, it's also a good stand-alone song. "Shakalaka Baby" is very upbeat, and "Chalo Chale Puriva" and "Chalo Chale Mitwa" have great lyrics. I like "Ruki Shukhi Roti," although it's so damn saccharine that it'll choke you with its sweetness if you try to take it seriously. Nayak boasts only one 5 star song, "Saiyyan," but it also lacks anything below a 4, so while it isn't the best soundtrack out there, it quickly grows on you, and it brings some unique elements to the genre.

OVERALL -- 5/5
From far away, Nayak looks ridiculous. The main plot about an ordinary news reporter becoming a government official for a day and completely revolutionizing the lives of thousands of people is ludicrous; we all know it would never happen in real life. And yet that's what gives this movie its feel-good power. By portraying the main character as a simple-man-turned-hero, Nayak touches not only its vast and varied Indian audience, but its largely middle class western audience as well. This indulgent escape from everyday life, combined with an adorable love story, makes for a wonderful film that you'll watch over and over again. I wholeheartedly recommend Nayak to everyone, especially if you've never seen an Anil Kapoor film before: he'll win you over in a matter a minutes!

TOTAL SCORE -- 18/20 (almost perfect)

Sarkar

2008-10-12T11:36:00.000-07:00

Sarkar -- The Overlord*

MAIN CAST
Amitabh Bachchan -- Subhash ("Sarkar")
Abhishek Bachchan -- Shankar
Kay Kay Menon -- Vishnu
Zakir Hussain -- Rashid

BRIEF PLOT OVERVIEW:
Sarkar is an Indian adaptation of The Godfather, featuring Amitabh Bachchan as the idealistic overlord (Don Corleone), Abhishek Bachchan as the favored son who is unwillingly pulled in to the underworld (Michael Corleone), and Kay Kay Menon as his hot-headed brother (Sonny Corleone). For more on how the two films parallel, check out this Wikipedia link, but be forewarned: there are lots of spoilers! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sarkar_(film)#Cast_and_Characters

FILM -- 3/5
If you're going to make a film, you need to decide between Bollywood melodramatics and Hollywood realism. You can't have both. Unfortunately, Ram Gopal Varma didn't get the message, and Sarkar bounces between the two extremes. One example of this inconsistency is the opening sequence: it's very realistic, tense, and engrossing, and I thought it was very well-done. Then it launched in to Bollywood dramatics, with Hitchcock-esque cuts of Amitabh Bachchan's face and dramatic chords in the background. What a waste! The film itself is covered with a golden-brown tint 99% of the time, which makes some scenes look dramatic and is just plain obnoxious in others. Sarkar's action scenes are realistic and wonderfully choreographed and shot, so people who are antsy about blood and gore may want to skip this flick. My favorite scene is when a-character-who-will-not-be-named is tied to a rock and left to drown--it was just powerfully filmed. The script is okay, but a little inconsistent, and the story skips between so many different things so quickly that its easy to get confused. I actually couldn't tell you what the course of events in Sarkar were. Strangely enough, I still found the on-screen happenings rather interesting. There's some good stuff here, it just isn't very well organized.

CHARACTERS -- 5/5
If you're going to watch Sarkar, watch it for the acting. Amitabh Bachchan is at his best! His gait may be wobbly and weak, but his gaze is intense. Abhishek Bachchan is also in top form, and both he and Kay Kay Menon give some of the best performances of their careers. I haven't seen Zakir Hussain in any other films, but I'd love to see more of him; his piercing, expressive eyes remind me of Manoj Bajpai. There's also an incredible supporting cast. I'm not used to seeing Anupam Kher outside of his comedic archetype, but he was really good in his brief on-screen appearance. Jeendra made Swami a really creepy, interesting character, and despite the fact that he was covered in hair, he still managed to craft some incredible facial expressions. The female supporting cast is just about flawless, especially Rukhsar, who plays Vishnu's jaded wife. The one exception to this rule is Katrina Kaif. She doesn't do it for me physically or talent-wise, and while she doesn't completely suck, I was glad her part was so small. The characters aren't given a lot of time to develope; specifically, Shankar's personality change from "good boy" to "future mafia leader" seems a bit quick. Still, the actors manage to give their characters 3-dimensional personalities through subtle glances and body language, and I connected to just about every single one of them.

MUSIC -- 3/5
Sarkar doesn't have songbreaks, just background music. Some of that background music is absolutely terrible and does not fit with what's happening on screen, or they play it too loud and make the whole experience rather jarring. There's some really well-written music as well, like the song that plays when Shankar escapes an assassination attempt: it's tense, it's dramatic, and it definitely works.

OVERALL -- 3.5/5
Technically speaking, Sarkar sucks. It's jumpy and kind of confusing, it tries to do too many things at once, and while the acting is top-notch, the characters themselves don't get a lot of time to develope. And yet...I really like this movie. It had my complete attention from start to finish. For that, Ram Gopal Varma has his cast to thank: they are absolutely incredible, and they have you emotionally attached to their characters as soon as they walk on-screen. Sarkar isn't an instant favorite, but it grew on me, and now I really enjoy it. At the very least, Sarkar deserves a rental.

TOTAL SCORE -- 14.5/20 (really good)

* Sarkar literally translates to "government," but in the film, it is used as an honorary title, sort of like "My Lord."

Main Hoon Na

2008-10-11T11:01:00.000-07:00

Main Hoon Na -- I Am Here

MAIN CAST

Shahrukh Khan -- Ram

Zayed Khan -- Lucky

Amrita Rao -- Sanju

Sunil Shetty -- Raghavan

Sushmita Sen -- Miss Chandni

BRIEF PLOT OVERVIEW:

Major Ram is a little disgruntled with his new assignment: he has to protect Sanju, the daughter of a higher-up, from the terrorist Raghavan. Ram decides he likes the assignment a little more when he catches sight of Miss Chandni, the beautiful new chemistry teacher, and is given a chance to find his long-lost half brother.

FILM -- 4/5

My major disappointment with Main Hoon Na's design is the picturizing. It's not bad, so don't get the wrong impression, but it often lacks the bright costumes and gorgeous scenery that really make me love picturized songs, and almost every music break is set on a dusty school campus with kids in blue jeans and neutral-colored t-shirts. The Sanju/Lucky crush sequence is a rare exception. Some of the plot twists are predictable, others are real surprises, so the story manages to keep the viewer's interest without jumping all over the place. The script gets an extra boost from the cast members, all of whom put their hearts and souls in to bringing the characters to life. I really loved the comedic aspects of the film, and I can safely say that MHN features some of the funniest scenes in Bollywood. In terms of the action scenes, the special effects are strong. They're still not awe-inspiring, but India's FX teams have finally caught up with western studios', and there are hints of The Matrix sprinkled throughout. Strong choreography a la Farah Khan and spiffy costuming round things off for a well-balanced modern masala movie.

CHARACTERS -- 4/5

Amrita Rao is super-cute and spunky, and there are times where she reminds me of a very young Kajol blended with Preity Zinta. It's a shame that Zayed Khan hasn't had much success in the industry post-MHN, because I think he has a lot of potential and could go far with some guidance; his scenes with Shahrukh Khan are especially noteworthy. Unfortunately, he sucks when he's on sreen solo. Sunil Shetty makes a deliciously evil villain, Rakhi Sawant plays the campus skank with almost too much ease, and even Sushmita Sen--who I usually don't care for--performs marvelously. The latter shines doubly during the "bedroom scene" after Ram's real identity is revealed. Other than that scene, I don't think Sushmita and Shahrukh have a lot of on-screen chemistry, but most of the folks at BollyWHAT absolutely love the jodi, so maybe I'm missing something. As for the special appearances: please tell me I am not the only person who died happy when Bindu walked through that gate! And Tabu--one of my two favorite Bollywood actresses--pops up, too, which earns the flick major bonus points. Lastly, Bomani Irani deserves a nod for his perfect delivery of some of the funniest dialogue in modern Bollywood.

MUSIC -- 4.5/5

Is it a perfect soundtrack, on par with Rangeela or Dil Se? Lord, no. But every song is at least decent, and some of them are so friggin' awesome that I just have to give MHN's soundtrack a 4.5/5. That being said, I was a bit disappointed by the soundtrack; the movie itself is so beloved that I thought the music would be mindblowing, but there's a lot of track blending until you've given the soundtrack three or four listens. The title track is a stand-out, with beautiful singing and equally lovely lyrics describing Ram's love for his younger brother and Sanju's love for her best friend. "Tumhe Jo Maine Dekha" has neat picturization, including a cute scene with Sushmita and Shahrukh on a rope swing together, but it's forgettable outside of the film. "Tumse Milke Dilka Jo Haal" and "Gori Gori" are great for dancing, but "Ye Fizaein" flounders. "Chale Jaise Hawaien" grows on you and features passionate vocals by K.K.

OVERALL -- 4.5/5

I only give perfect scores to movies that hold my attention in every way, shape, and form from start to finish, and Main Hoon Na is almost one of those movies. You don't need Oscar-worthy material to create an enjoyable movie. MHN blends an action-adventure-terrorist plot with comedy and romance, has an incredible cast, boasts great choreography, and despite its minor flaws (AKA Zayed Khan), it is easily one of the most entertaining flicks I've ever seen. If the soundtrack had been more impressive and if a few very small changes had been made, Main Hoon Na definitely would have earned an "almost perfect" score.

TOTAL SCORE -- 17/20 (great)

Kabhi Khushi Kabhie Gham

2008-10-11T10:44:00.000-07:00

Kabhi Khushi Kabhie Gham -- Through Happiness, Through Sadness

MAIN CAST

Shahrukh Khan -- Rahul

Hrithik Roshan -- Rohan

Kareena Kapoor -- Poo

Kajol -- Anjali

Amitabh Bachchan -- Yash

Jaya Bachchan -- Nandini

BRIEF PLOT OVERVIEW:

Rohan has often wondered what happened to Rahul, his adopted brother, who disappeared from his life 10 years ago. Finally, his grandmothers reveal the awful truth: Rahul married a girl from a lower caste, so Yash disowned him. Rohan swears he will put his family back together and decides to search for his brother and sister-in-law in London.

FILM -- 4/5

If you like color and composition, this movie blows you away from the beginning. K3G is Bollywood at its best, full of bright colors, beautiful dances, witty dialogue--especially from Kajol and Shahrukh Khan--and emotional moments that will have you laughing and crying throughout the entire film. It's a damn long film, however, and Karan Johar does what he's most famous for: he bogs it down with unnecessary scenes and sequences, just to add more to the "prettiness" factor. K3G is still a great movie, but it could have been a 2 1/2 hour great movie rather than this somewhat tedious 3+ hour adventure. The costuming is excellent and really fits the characters! There's also some amazing choreography, like the traditional sequences in "Say Shava Shava" and Hrithik Roshan's fluid movements in "You Are My Sohniyan." In typical Karan Johar style, there are some truly lush and beautiful scenes; you can't help but tear up when Nandini throws open the doors of her house at the end of "Bole Chudiyan."

CHARACTERS -- 4/5

The acting is relatively superb, which is no surprise given the star-studded cast. Amitabh Bachchan is especially spectacular in his role as the stern, traditional father figure; Kajol readily matches him as an upbeat, excessively proud Indian citizen from a lower caste who probably is (as her husband describes her) a little "crazy." The minor pitfall is Hrithik Roshan, whose physical charms usually mask moments were he acts stiff and rehearsed, while Kareena Kapoor manages to turn what could have been K3G's funniest character in to an over-exaggerated pubescent girl with little comedic timing. In all fairness, Kareena does have her bright moments, though those are few and far between, and Hrithik is believable when he isn't talking at 60mph. Also, he's a friggin' incredible dancer! I don't think anybody in this millenium can match him. I like Jaya Bachchan, but I never thought she was an awesome actress; she's kind of "meh" in my opinion, although she's got some absolutely amazing facial expressions and a great grasp of body language. Johnny Lever leads the supporting cast in a role that is surprisingly not-very-annoying.

MUSIC -- 5/5

Without a doubt, Kabhi Khushi Kabhie Gham has one of the catchiest soundtracks in modern Bollywood. The title song is beautiful, as are its two "sad" reprises, and "Suraj Hua Madham" mixes themes of sensuality and eternity beautifully. (And you get a short snippet of the Kuch Kuch Hota Hai title melody!) The real gems of the soundtrack, however, are the dance tracks; "Say Shava Shava" is an instant favorite with almost every viewer, while songs like "Bole Chudiyan" quickly grow on you. I didn't like the updated "Vande Mantram," and it doesn't hurt that it was a completely unnecessary sequence. (Once again, this is Karan Johar, so I kind of expected unnecessary sequences.) One of my favorite songs from this film is "Yeh Ladki Hai Allah," which is really playful and is picturized on the wonderful SRK/Kajol jodi. The "spirt of" song for this soundtrack is called "Soul K3G," and it's a very nice medley. This soundtrack remains a favorite on my top 50 list and is often a prominent member of my top 10 list, depending on my mood that day.

OVERALL -- 4/5

K3G flew to the top of my favorite films list as soon as the credits started to roll, although I did notice that the first half of the film (which focuses mainly on Rahul and Anjali) is better than the second half (which follows numerous plot threads, some more interesting than others). One of my favorite things about this movie is that even non-Bollywood fans will probably enjoy it due to its accessible script, colorful presentation, and ridiculously catchy music, provided they can sit through 3 hours of KJo-ness. Kabhi Khushi Kabhie Gham is a movie you either love to hate or love to death (as a trip to the BollyWHAT forums will show you), and I follow the latter group. Give K3G a rental and decide for yourself.

TOTAL SCORE -- 17/20 (great)

Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam

2008-10-11T10:36:00.000-07:00

Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam -- I Have Given My Heart Away

MAIN CAST
Aishwarya Rai -- Nandini
Salman Khan -- Sameer
Ajay Devgan -- Vanraj

BRIEF PLOT OVERVIEW:
Nandini's father is receiving a guest--a half-Italian, half-Indian musician--as a student, but Nandini refuses to give up her bedroom. When she meets the handsome Sameer, however, the two fall madly in love with each other! Everything is going swimmingly until Sameer and Nandini have a fight, and Nandini spitefully tells Sameer that she will catch the eye of another man. And she does: the gentle Vanraj falls in love with her at first sight and decides to ask for her hand in marriage.

FILM -- 3.5/5
Salman Khan doesn't always do the best job of lip syncing, so some of his scenes look too fake for my tastes. The choreography for "Nimbooda" is great, although the choreography lacks luster in other parts of the film. The script is a little off, even for a masala film, but it's pleasing as a whole and doesn't sound ridiculous unless it's meant to. I wish it was all a little more...polished, I guess. The costumes are absolutely gorgeous, and they really add to the characters; Aishwarya Rai looks especially incredible with her long braid and bindi. On the whole, the film is decently shot and put together, and nothing about the production makes me want to stab my eyes.

CHARACTERS -- 3.5/5
Salman Khan is warm and loveable, and the viewer connects with him as soon as he appears. (It doesn't hurt that Khan has a penchant for taking his shirt off.) Aishwarya Rai's performance is strong, showing improvement over some of her earlier films, and she looks luminous. Khan and Rai have incredibly chemistry, but her on-screen romance with Vanraj feels more rehearsed and fake. I understand that she was dating Salman Khan for a while, but if Shahrukh Khan and Kajol--who were NEVER a couple--can pull of awesome on-screen chemistry, Aishwarya and Ajay should, too. Part of the problem may be that Ajay just doesn't seem like he would fit with Aishwarya in any way. Nevertheless, his portrayal of the smitten Vanraj is the best part of the entire film, and like Sameer, he is instantly likeable. Everyone blends well with the extended family, which is full of fun characters played by a well-balanced supporting cast.

MUSIC -- 2.5/5
The music leaves something to be desired. Some of the songs are cute, others are bouncy, but none of them really struck me as being incredible, and certain segments actually annoyed me a bit with the kitschy, tacky arrangements. The biggest problem is track blending, which is when damn near every song sounds the same and you have a hard time telling which part of the movie a certain song came from. I didn't bother getting a copy of this one: the only song I enjoyed outside of the film was "Nimbooda." Overall, a solid soundtrack, but definitely not the best I've ever heard, and it isn't anywhere near as intoxicating as some Bolly soundtracks are.

OVERALL -- 3/5
Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam won't win any awards, since it isn't amazing on any front, but it's not horrible, either. It's a great movie when you're bored on a rainy day, and it'll certainly please fans of Aishwarya Rai and Salman Khan. If you're not in to either of those, just watch a clip of "Nimbooda" and ignore the rest of the flick. I should also note that this movie is almost univerally loved by Bollywood fans, and I am one of the few people who won't sing its praises from the mountaintops.

TOTAL SCORE -- 12.5/20 (okay)

Hum Aapke Dil Mein Rehte Hain

2008-10-11T10:28:00.000-07:00

Hum Aapke Dil Mein Rehte Hain -- I Will Stay In Your Heart

MAIN CAST

Anil Kapoor -- Vijay

Anupam Kher -- Vijay's father

Kajol -- Megha

BASIC PLOT OVERVIEW:

Vijay is a spoiled brat who just wants to party and have fun. His father insists that he get married and settle down, however, so the two strike up a deal: Vijay will marry his father's secretary, Megha; if a year passes and Vijay is not happy with Megha, he will divorce her. Megha is a wonderful wife, but after a year, Vijay whips out their contract and breaks up with Megha, only to realize soon after that he is in love with her. Will Megha ever forgive him?

FILM -- 2/5

What could have been a simple but watchable piece of masala is almost ruined by a massive heap of flaws. The dialogue is mediocre in Hindi and the English subtitles are generally laughable. The first 20 minutes of Hum Aapke Dil Mein Rehte Hain are pretty mediocre as a whole, actually, and I paused it and walked away from it at least 3 times...and really, I shouldn't have to entertain myself while I'm watching a movie. The costume department must have been run entirely by the colorblind or the just plain blind, because with a few rare exceptions (Kajol), the costumes look tacky and ridiculous. The choreography and picturizing are alright, although the editing is pretty crappy and the shaking cameras will make your eyes hurt in some places. Hitchcock-esque, psuedo-dramatic, "flash-flash-flash-flash-flash!" kind of shots always make me twitch, and those found in HADMRH are no exception. There are some enjoyable scenes, like the part where Vijay's father searches for potential brides for his son and the foot-touching after Megha and Vijay's wedding, but during more "dramatic" parts, its a pretty up-and-down experience. The film does get better as it progresses, however, and only reverts back to a state of pure suckage at the very end. So while it's ocassionally tedious and poorly made, it also has moments of brilliance.

CHARACTERS -- 3.5/5

Anil Kapoor isn't exactly attractive by western standards, at least not in a modern sense, and he looks more than a little outdated for a 90s film. Still, he's a real presence on-screen and manages to win you over as the film progresses. Kajol is a joy to watch, as always, and she stuns you with her unique beauty from the moment she appears. It's a shame that she isn't put to better use in this film; her character often ends up wallowing in a pit of blandness, thanks to parts of the script that stick out like giant bruises. Maybe it's just the western feminist in me, but every time Vijay promoted equality between men and women and Megha looked completely depressed at the idea, I just wanted to slap the screenwriters, and her rejection of Vijay in the second half becomes excessive after the first few stubborn acts. Kajol and Anil Kapoor are't my favorite on-screen couple, but they're just darling together! Mink Singh...well, at least she's pleasing to the eye. I enjoyed Anupam Kher's performance despite the fact that he was almost always typecasted as the rich, doting father/uncle in the 90s and, hence, his role is nothing new. Parmeet Seethi's role as a wannabe Romeo is pretty hilarious and appropriately sleazy, and the rest of the supporting cast performs well enough. Satish Kaushik and Johnny Lever's "comedic moments," however, aren't very comedic, and their characters annoy the crap out of you after a few seconds.

MUSIC -- 2/5

The good news is that half of the songs are well-written in a musical sense, with catchy melodies and awesome beats. The bad news is that the lyrics are complete trash. The English lyrics are especially horrible; I'm well aware that 95% of all Bolly lyrics written in English are going to be cheesy, but this stuff just sounds ridiciulous. "Chup Gaya Badal" is one of the songs that holds out best outside of the film's context. "Dhing Tara" and "Jara Hai Kahan" have the aforementioned good beat with bad lyrics. "Kasam Se Kasam" and "Papa Mein Papa Ban Gaya" aren't nearly as good without the in-film picturizing...actually, I take that back: "Papa Mein Papa Ban Gaya" is just plain obnoxious, even when you're watching it in the movie. The title track certainly doesn't "stay in my heart," it just makes me want to pop my eardrums to escape from its blandness. There's a lot of blending amongst the tracks, with only a few standing out as separate entities. I honestly don't see me listening to this soundtrack too often in the distant future, as it's rather forgettable.

OVERALL -- 3/5

To be perfectly honest, I wouldn't mind watching this film again. That sounds crazy, since I rated HADMRH rather low and nitpicked the shit out of it. The "kind of sort of enjoying it" feeling I get from HADMRH stems from two things: 1) my weakness for 1990s masala flicks, and 2) the strange addiction I ended up having for this movie. To paraphrase the almighty Yahtzee, creator of Zero Punctuation: "I'll say I don't like it, just like an alcholic says he doesn't like alcohol." It doesn't hurt that Hum Aapke Dil Mein Rehte Hain could have been a pretty good flick if it wasn't burdened down by so many flaws, like the piss-poor soundtrack, grating ending, and the overall choppiness of the script. Like Dhaai Akshar Prem Ke, HADMRH has all of the cliche and almost none of the charm found in masala; unlike the former, the latter is a guilty pleasure with a few fresh twists that I could honestly see some viewers loving. Because it's above average, you should give Hum Aapke Dil Mein Rehte Hain a rainy-day rental, but I wouldn't recommend purchasing it until you're sure you love it.

TOTAL SCORE -- 10.5/20 (mediocre)

Josh

2008-10-11T10:19:00.000-07:00

Josh -- Frenzy

MAIN CAST

Shahrukh Khan -- Max

Sharad Kapoor -- Prakash

Aishwarya Rai -- Shirley

Chandrachur Singh -- Rahul

BASIC PLOT OVERVIEW:

I've often heard Josh advertised as the Indian West Side Story, and that's a pretty accurate description. The two films share the same premise, although Josh's gangs are divided by religion instead of race: Shahrukh's character Max leads the Christian eagles while Sharad's character Prakash leads the Hindu scorpions. (Supposedly, the first drafts of WSS also divided the Sharks and the Jets by religion: Christians vs. Jews.)

FILM -- 3.5/5

For the most part, Josh lives up to its western predecessor. There are some awesome motorcycle stunts early on in the film that make up for the occasionally stupid choreography, and the costuming bounces between "truly fantastic" and "absolutely horrendous". Parts of the script are cliche, yet there's never a dull moment, and you can't tear your eyes away from the screen. There's a really interesting twist about two hours in to the film that I never saw coming! Shahruk Khanh's "aggressive flirting" with Rosanne (played by Priya Gill) makes for a comedic subplot that still fits within the film's context.

CHARACTERS -- 4/5

Sharad Kapoor is the film's stand-out as he portrays the stern Prakash, and he certainly reminds you of Bernardo in WSS. Shahrukh is really good; this isn't his best part, but it certainly isn't his worst, and I only laughed at his character's cheesiness a few times. I don't find Chandrachur Singh attractive in any way, shape, or form, but there's a good actor hidden beneath those beastly eyebrows. Unfortunately, Rahul is written as a 2-dimensional lover boy, and I had a hard time emotionally connecting to the character as a result. The Aishwarya/Shahrukh jodi has never worked for me, so I was ecstatic when I found out that Ash plays his sister in this film instead of his lover. Her performance as Shirley lends a certain charm to Rahul, mostly by virtue of her physical beauty. The way she delivers her dialogue can get pretty annoying, especially when she utilizes her "whiny little girl" voice or her obnoxious giggle, but other than that, I have no major qualms with Aishwarya's performance. The supporting cast is wonderful, especially Sharat Saxena. There are several animal co-stars as well, like a cat, several rats, and a snake, and I think they deserve props for making Aishwarya look even more beautiful when they're on screen together.

MUSIC -- 3/5

The film's soundtrack starts on a high note with "Sailaru Sailaray," a gang vs. gang tune with a really funky beat. The next tune, "Meray Khayallon Ki Malika," isn't nearly as appealing, but then "Apun Bola" comes along and soothes the wound with its playfulness. "Hai Mera Dil" and "Haare Haare Haare" are okay love songs with nice picturizing. "Zinda Hain Hum To" finishes the soundtrack with a bang. Overall, the upbeat songs are awesome, but the ballads are kind of "eh." I also wish that there was a little more power in the lyrics.

OVERALL -- 3.5/5

A lot of the film's concepts are taken directly from West Side Story--the finger snapping, the bait-and-catch games played by the gangs, the dance sequence, and so on--and I really wish they'd added more originality and freshness to those concepts. It also lacks replay value: I've seen this movie once and I don't think I'll ever see it again. In Josh's defense, the movie is still entertaining with only a few bland segments scattered about an otherwise engaging story. I wouldn't recommend it for your first Bollywood film unless you're already a huge WSS fan, but I thoroughly enjoyed it, and I definitely think it deserves a viewing at some point or another.

TOTAL SCORE -- 14/20 (really good)

Rangeela

2008-10-08T14:03:00.000-07:00

Rangeela -- Colorful

MAIN CAST:
Urmila Matondkar -- Mili
Aamir Khan -- Munna
Jackie Shroff -- Raj Kamal

BRIEF PLOT OVERVIEW:
The innocent Mili often dreams of becoming a film heroine. Her best friend, a mischievous wastrel named Munna, just dreams of marrying Mili, though he keeps his feelings hidden. Things get complicated when film star Raj Kamal spots Mili dancing on the beach and apparently makes all of her dreams come true.

FILM -- 5/5
Rangeela opens in the best way possible, given its storyline: credits roll over still images of Bollywood stars, then "Rangeela Re" starts up. It really sets the tone of the film and fits the plotline! There are some wonderfully-written scenes in the film, like the part where Mili makes Munna practice a script with her. I want to punch the choreographer, though, because some of the dancing is absolutely RIDICULOUS. At least the picturization of "Kya Kare Kya Na Kare" more than makes up for that fault. The costumes are equally hideous at certain points, especially on the Aamir Khan front. That fishnet shirt has to go! The physical faults are minor when you take in to account how damn sweet Rangeela is! It tugs on your heartstrings, which is a must for a masala romance. It won't win any awards, but it's an awesome flick that will win you over in a matter of minutes.

CHARACTERS -- 5/5
I have to admit that Urmila Matondkar wowed me in Pinjar. Of course, I didn't expect quite the same level of intensity in a fun masala flick like Rangeela, but I was still hoping she'd be a bit less wooden when she cries. She's great when she dances, however, and she's so damn beautiful and charismatic that her faults are readily forgiven. Plus, she mellows out and relaxes in the role as the film progresses. Aamir Khan's Munna is great fun, a tramp with a heart of gold that really grows on you. The longing in Munna's eyes when he looks at Mili is so heart-wrenching, and his love for her is very innocent and genuine. Rangeela is the film that made me fall in love with Aamir Khan. Unfortunately, the chemistry between the two is kind of "meh" when they dance, although it's much more palpable when they're just hanging out together. Jackie Shroff is very intense and brooding one moment, fatherly and sensual the next. I liked him in this film, and by contrast with Aamir Khan, Shroff's chemistry with Urmila is super-hot. They have less of a "love and comfort" affair and more of a "sensuality and burning gazes" sort of chemistry. The supporting cast is also excellent. Major kudos to the lovely Rema Lagoo and the hilarious Rajesh Joshi!

SOUNDTRACK -- 5/5
How could you not love this soundtrack?! It's one of my absolute favorites, and "Rangeela Re" is so incredible! "Mangta Hai Kya" is unique and is a real treat to dance to. Udit Narayan's vocals on "Kya Kare Kya Na Kare" are so clear, clean, upbeat, wonderful...it's like people always say, "You can hear his smile!" "Tanha Tanha" gets stuck in your head almost instantly. And don't miss it in-film, cause Urmila looks hot like WOAH. "Hai Rama" is very Indian and so sexy in-fil that it's hard for the song to maintain the fire without Urmila dancing to it. "Pyar Ye Jaane Kaise" is the only low point of the soundtrack for me, because I think Suresh Wadkar's voice is way too young-sounding for Jackie Shroff, and it's a bit slow. It's not a bad song, I just don't like it as much as I like the rest of the music. The lyrics are standard masala fair, but the soundtrack is so damn awesome otherwise that I don't even mind. Rangeela is a permanent member on my top 50 list, and it sometimes nudges its way on to my top 10. If you don't like the 80s or new wave, you might not be as enthusiastic about the music as I am.

OVERALL -- 5/5
Like most masala flicks, you can't watch Rangeela and expect a serious film. You have to send reality on vacation and just enjoy the colorful, crazy ride that is Rangeela. It's sweet, it's fun, it's sugar and spice and everything nice, and it's one of my favorite Bollywood films. I like to compare it to Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge: both films are full of rocky patches, but they come out as real gems! Add in the great soundtrack, the massive replay value, the feel-good factor, and a bucket full of charm, and you've got a flick that's worth every penny.

TOTAL SCORE -- 20/20 (perfect)

Aashiqui

2008-10-07T19:57:00.000-07:00

Aashiqui -- Romance

MAIN CAST:

Rahul Roy -- Rahul

Anu Aggarwal -- Anu

Tom Alter -- Arnie Campbell

BRIEF PLOT OVERVIEW:

In an interesting twist on the usual "meet cute" scenario, Anu and Rahul meet at a police station after the latter causes a ruckus at his father's wedding and the former tries to run away. Arnie Campbell, the manager of the orphanage where Anu lives, punishes his wards cruelly and treats Anu like a personal Cinderella. When Campbell catches Anu and Rahul meeting one night, he threatens to tear them apart forever.

FILM -- 3/5

Aashiqui is like a lot of other Bollywood romances: it relies on charm more than creativity, and for the most part, it works. There's a fine line between wooing and stalking, however, and I don't think the screen writers quite caught the distinction ("Now no one can stop me from loving you...not even you!"). Certain parts of the film cross over in to the realm of the ridiculous, and not in a good way. For example, when Rahul confronts his father as he remarries...that scene just didn't work. With some tweaking and prodding, however, it could have been an excellent moment. And the fight scene? I mean, I get that this is masala, but it just doesn't work in a film that's 95% romance! Aashiqui features some really great dialogue ("Don't hunt for sparks in a pile of ashes,") that is unfortunately ruined by poor lighting. I'm sorry, but washing the characters in neon blue light does NOT make a scene more dramatic! The dubbing in this movie is godawful as well, especially when the actors replicate heavy breathing even though their character's mouth is shut and their chest is hardly moving. And the costumes? Awful, even by 80s standards. On the plus side, there are a lot of moments in Aashiqui that are inadvertently Very Very Gay, so I quite enjoyed them. On a sidenote, the film is beautifully packaged with the popular image of Anu and Rahul kissing beneath a jacket on the cover and on the disc itself.

CHARACTERS -- 3.5/5

Rahul Roy plays a character named Rahul (ha ha, funny funny) and is a lot like a bad Shahrukh Khan: all of the melodrama with next to none of the charm, and he snarls all throughout his lip syncing. He has his shining moments, however, namely when he's with Reema Lagoo, who plays his mother with an understated fire I really enjoyed. Anu Aggarwal plays Anu (noticing a trend here?) very well; she speaks with her eyes a la Tabu, but with a less intensity. At one point, Anu walks down a catwalk, resplendent in white, and she was so damn beautiful my breath caught in my throat! Rahul and Anu have really great on-screen chemistry. The characters themselves are predictably bland: good Hindu boy meets good Hindu girl, they have a chaste love affair, they would die for each other after sharing little more than a glance, etcetera etcetera...I had trouble believing it a few times, because despite the strong chemistry, Rahul Roy and Anu Aggarwal don't have quite the same sincerity that Kajol and Shahrukh Khan had in Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge. I was also a little annoyed with Tom Alter, not so much because of his acting, but because his character was the stereotypical "evil ferangi." It's like any villain in a pre-new millenium movie HAS to fit a melodramatic archetype, or he just won't fit in. Ugh! The supporting cast is okay, and actors like Mushtaq Khan add some humor to the film.

SOUNDTRACK -- 4/5

Aashiqui is best known for its music, and there's a good reason for that. It has a solid and super-catchy soundtrack, albeit a very 80s one, so if you're not in to that kind of music, you might want to give this album a pass. "Dil Ka Aalam" is unnecessary to the plotline, but it's so much fun that I don't really care. "Dheere Dheere Se" is addictive from the start, but "Mera Dil Tere Liye" and "Tu Meri Zindagi Hai" are relatively forgettable. "Main Duniya Bhula Doonga" and "Jaan-e-jigar" are pretty and really grow on you. My favorite song from the film is probably "Nazar Ke Samme," which is upbeat, funky, and just plain fun! Aashiqui isn't on my top 10 list--not by a long shot--but it's definitely on my top 50.

OVERALL -- 3/5

You have to take Aashiqui for what it is to fully enjoy it, and what it is is a timepass flick with a popular soundtrack and a meandering, aimless storyline. Otherwise, you'll wait around for an incredible performance or a superbly-written scene and be vastly disappointed. Aashiqui is enjoyable the first time around and has some replay value, and it's certainly worth the $3 I paid for my copy.

TOTAL SCORE -- 13.5/20 (really good)

Dhaai Akshar Prem Ke

2008-10-03T21:02:00.001-07:00

Dhaai Akshar Prem Ke -- The Word is Love

MAIN CAST:
Aishwarya Rai -- Sahiba
Abhishek Bachchan -- Karan
Amrish Puri -- Mr. Grewal
Sonali Bendre -- Nisha

BRIEF PLOT OVERVIEW:
Sahiba witnesses a murder and is chased by the perpetrators, but Karan--an army officer returning home to marry his sweetheart, Nisha--saves her. A truly sweet guy, Karan decides he will protect Sahiba while she journeys home. When they arrive at the Grewal's palatial estate, Sahiba's family greets Karan as...Sahiba's new husband!

FILM -- 1.5/5
Everyone knows that 95% of all Bollywood films follow specific formulas. The difference is that some films follow these "yes-we-know-what's-going-to-happen" well enough that we still watch the entire 3 hour movie, while others fail miserably to bring anything fresh to the plot. Unfortunately, DAPK tends to follow the latter, and while the film is decent, it also tends to "drag on." Some of the scenes and dance sequences fit, but others feel tacked-on, and I honestly wouldn't have any qualms about skipping at least 45 minutes of this movie. The script is really choppy, with twists that change every 5 minutes (but still don't give the film a "WOW!" factor) and piss-poor attempts at foreshadowing. On the bright side, the slapstick humor is funny and the scenery is nice.

CHARACTERS -- 1.5/5
Aishwarya Rai is not a born actress; rather, she is a carefully crafted one, and this film proves it. While this is not the terrible acting of her earliest films, it certainly isn't the incredible acting she has managed in her newer movies. Her physical beauty is marred by her inability to create more than two facial expressions, and she constantly looks like a deer trapped in the headlights. Worse yet is her on-screen romance with Abhishek Bachchan (the man who would later become her husband in real life), which looks realistic during "cute moments", but looks rehearsed and awkward when it tries to be dramatic and sensual. Except for a few bright spots in "O Mere Rabba," Aishwarya and Abhishek never manage to properly portray their romance past the school child phase. Even the villains fail to make a mark, and they come off as too campy and exaggerated, even by Bollywood standards. The other supporting actors, however, shine through in the film. Amrish Puri's acting always gains an emotional response from the viewer, Sahiba's uncles are both poignant and hilarious, and Sonali Bendre looks beautiful during her extended cameo sequences.

MUSIC -- 2/5
The songwriting in this film showcases both the best and the worst. "Ek Haseen Ladki" is upbeat and fun, mixing Indian instruments, western beats, and showtune theatrics without any hitches. The title song is pretty, but not extraordinary, and the reprises are forgettable. Likewise, songs like "Yeh Sama Yeh Nazare" are the sort of songs you see on the soundtrack listing and go, "Wait, what part of the movie is THAT from?", and while "Mera Mahi Bada Sohna" is fun to listen to and great to watch, it gets boring after the first 4 minutes. The same goes for "O Mere Rabba," which would have been much better if they'd cut a few verses out. However, some of the music is very good; "Koi Taza Hawa" and its oh-so-Bollywood dance sequence saved DAPK from plummetting in to the abyss.

OVERALL -- 2/5
While Dhaai Akshar Prem Ke has its bright moments, it suffers from a lack of originality, ocassionally bland dialogue, and subpar acting from the two leads. Unless you're really in to Bollywood films that follow the romantic formula to a T or are an obsessed Aishwarya Rai fan who watches all of her movies, I suggest watching DAPK for free on YouTube instead of paying for a rental. Trust me: it's as plain and commonplace on a big screen as it is on a web browser.

TOTAL SCORE -- 7/20 (bad)

Duplicate

2008-10-03T20:53:00.000-07:00

Duplicate

MAIN CAST:
Bablu/Manu -- Shahrukh Khan
Sonia -- Juhi Chawla
Lily -- Sonali Bendre
Bablu's mother -- Farida Jalal

BRIEF PLOT OVERVIEW:
The innocent mama's boy Bablu dreams of becoming a world famous chef. There's just one problem: he's the physical duplicate of the vicious criminal Manu Daddu, and Manu intends to exploit their similarities for his own dastardly plans!

FILM -- 5/5
Oh, 1990s masala, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways! Duplicate almost immediately establishes itself as a true classic, flooding the screen with melodrama, slapstick comedy, flashy dance routines, and catchy tunes. You'll laugh your ass off when the police start flipping through pictures of Manu's disguises, and the humor just keeps on coming. I almost wet my pants when Shahrukh appeared in drag! The story is well-written, with memorable dialogue and a relatively simple but engaging plot. As soon as "Wah Ji Wah" started, I knew the dance sequences were going to be neat, and sure enough, the picturizing has all of the charm with none of the horrible editing and "modernizing" that some Bollywood films suffer from. The choreography is some of the best and most original I've ever seen, and the choreographers aren't afraid to make you chuckle. The costume department deserves extra applause for putting Shahrukh Khan in to leather pants and the female leads in to skimpy skirts, which are always good things. Bollywood's special effects were behind the times a bit in the 90s, but the action-packed moments are still good, especially when Manu kills his old partner with a TV. Lastly, unlike most Bollywood films--which can't help but suffer from a little bit of tedium over the course of 2-3 hours--there's never a dull moment in Duplicate.

CHARACTERS -- 5/5
Duplicate boasts an incredibly talented cast, with Shahrukh Khan leading the group in his dual role as the silly mama's boy Bablu and the violent criminal Manu. He brings a distinct personality to both characters through their walk, talk, and on-screen presence, caricaturizing and differentiating them through minor details. Manu is hyper-masculine, which a broad stride, scratchy voice, and a tendency to snarl; Bablu is a charming young man with a bounce to his clumsy step and a quirky giggle. Shahrukh's Manu seems a bit ridiculous, but I think it's just because his Bablu is so damn adorable and sweet by comparison. Juhi Chawla shines as soon as she and Shahrukh "meet cute" in a cab, and she really brings personality and vibrancy to her character. I have nothing special to say about Sonali Bendre except that she's incredibly sexy and charismatic throughout the film and dances beautifully, although they put way too much make-up on her in some scenes. As per usual, Shahrukh works well with both of his co-heroines, and the three create two completely different chemistries. Farida Jalal always makes the cutest doting mother! There's also an absolutely hilarious cameo appearance from Kajol, who walks past Baabul while DDLJ's "Tujhe Dekha" plays in the background and calls out for Raj (Shahrukh's character in DDLJ). The police officers, gangsters, assistant chefs, and various other extras flesh out the final product. In short, the cast--both primary and supporting--is flawlessly funny.

MUSIC -- 5/5
What gives Duplicate's music a leg-up is the energy behind it. It's clear that writing it wasn't a chore, it was a pleasure. Most non-Indian viewers immediately panic when they realize there are no English subtitles during some movies' music sequences, but in this case, you're having so much fun that you don't even realize you're lost in translation until the song is over! Each track is immediately recognizable, from the elaborate "Wah Ji Wah" to the danceable "Tum Nahin Jaana." I don't really care for "Kataai Aankhon Wali" beyond its lyrics and picturization, but I can see how other people would like it. Duplicate isn't in my top 10 Bolly soundtracks list, but it's definitely in my top 50. Fair warning: it IS very 90s, so if you prefer something a little more modern, you probably won't enjoy it.

OVERALL -- 5/5
In all honesty, Duplicate is so off-the-wall that I'd feel a bit embarrassed if my non-Bollyfan friends watched it. Yet that just goes to show how prototypically masala this film is: it's full of exaggeration and classic Bollywood goodness. You can tell from the first 10 minutes that this movie has real replay value, and with the average online Bollywood purchase ranking in at $10 a piece, it's definitely worth picking up. With a great cast, excellent script, and catchy music, Duplicate will charm you from start to finish.

TOTAL SCORE -- 20/20 (perfect)

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Reviews in Review: 2008

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Nayak: The Real Hero

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Main Hoon Na

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Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam

Hum Aapke Dil Mein Rehte Hain

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Rangeela

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Dhaai Akshar Prem Ke

Duplicate